Morning conversations with my 4 y/o

[lawrencey]

@rab1 What's worked with our 4yo was setting challenges "Let's see if you can get your snow pants on before I count to 20"

Of course now she'll reply "COUNT TO FIFTY HUNDRED!" and I say sure, and she's got them on by the time I get to 12 anyway. Then we start the next challenge.

 

[chashmi]

@rab1 I mean I work in food, Tuesday is part of my weekend! ;-)

 

[katrina2017]

@chashmi I work in Law Enforcement, every tuesday is my saturday lol

 

[dolkcll]

@rab1 Calmly testing every boundary. He is going to be a very good adult. We certainly could use more of them these days. Calm, and determined.

 

[moldme]

@rab1 3-4 year olds realize they can lie. The things they say, don't have to be true, and you can manipulate other people by saying things that aren't true. What fun! What a game!

Usually they're as horrible at lying as your kid, and it can get frustrating when they do it with inappropriate subjects or at inappropriate times - but it's totally typical.

 

[vincentpellerin]

@rab1 My 4.5yo is exactly like this. Calm debate on every single point. Every request of him comes back as a negotiation. It drives me crazy, but also makes me proud in a weird way.

 

[jep4christ]

@rab1 I can confirm this is my every conversation with our 4yo (nearly 5 actually).

He feels the need to oppose everything, he could ask what is 2+2 and then disagree when I say 4 :/

 

[noza]

@rab1 Well.....DO whales have hiccups? Now I'm curious!!!!!

 

[katrina2017]

@noza They do

 

[roasthawg]

@rab1 One strategy I've read about in prep for my own kiddo getting this age is to ask questions instead of making assertions. Kids with a strong will (like saying "these are the rules, you're wrong") always know better, and often have a strong sense of right and wrong too. They supposedly respond better to being given some personal autonomy than being told to follow rules.

 

[tom9824]

@rab1 I died at, "Tuesdays are weekends."

My 4yr old does the exact same thing.

Just enjoy it because he is still at an age where everything is possible.

Trust me...I know sometimes you just want to throw them through the couch lol.

But 20 seconds later they will have you laughing your ass off.

Hey Dad, guess what?

What?

Hey...

What?

Hey dad!

WHAAAAAAAT?!?

...I love you.
Also I'm hungry and I want chic fil a nuggets but I don't like their fries so we need McDonald's too...and sonic has the best ice cream.

 

[sarahjg94]

@rab1 My only advice: stop negotiating. You're in charge. Negotiate when he is reasonable, not when he is just being obstinate.

 

[saclaf]

@sarahjg94 He wasn’t negotiating. He was just refuting the false statements. Negotiating would have been something like, “If you finish your breakfast, we will have ice cream later.” OP didn’t concede anything.

 

[katrina2017]

@saclaf what Do you think about the following adjustment:

op: eat your breakfast, we don't wanna be late for school

kid: we will be late for school

op: Thanks for eating your breakfast like you are supposed to!

still responsive, but not engaging in ridiculousness. Positive but continuing to set expectations.

In this situation I think one or two times out the door without breakfast will be a valuable lesson learned too

 

[fleshisweak]

@katrina2017

In this situation I think one or two times out the door without breakfast will be a valuable lesson learned too

I don't know what your five year-old is like, but mine has a hard time learning abstract lessons like that when the decision (not eating breakfast) is separated from the consequence (feeling hungry) by several hours and a complete change of context.

 

[katrina2017]

@fleshisweak You're right of course, there will never be any "One right way" to address any situation… There's probably as many different reactions to this as there are kids in the world.

 

[tebo]

@rab1 Im amazed he didnt get thrown out an open window after that. (into a soft pile of leaves of course)

 

[ewoq]

@rab1 You can try the way I've seen on instagram with the "gentle parenting method".

You have 5 minutes to eat your breakfast. I will remind you in 5 minutes.

Do you want me to lift you and carry you to the car or do you want to walk?

 

[fredrick]

@rab1 Don't argue with them. It only makes them stronger. I'm not sure if that's true, but it certainly makes you weaker.

 

[davisbaker]

@rab1 Is this what I have to look forward to? Mine is 3 and right now everything is “no” and “I don’t like…”