So this morning I hear my 2.5 yo son yelling “F*ck!!! F*ck!!! F*ck!!! “

[charmeuse000]

@jam44 We were driving home tonight across a bridge next to a major port in our area. Normally oldest likes to point out the cargo ships with cranes on them. Tonight it was dark and rainy….”I can’t see ship!”

Except you know how it came out.

As I’m trying to see the road, I call back “me either, buddy, me either.”

 

[william74]

@jam44 3 yo Daughter looked at the toilet and said “did you do a big ass poop in here?”

 

[johnofwoodgreen]

@jam44 My oldest knows that I like "fucky" in the morning, and he asks for some "fucky" too. So we hang out in the kitchen while I have coffee, and he has milk with a little splash of coffee.

 

[ericab]

@johnofwoodgreen You... Give the kid coffee?

I'm not saying it's unhealthy or anything... But they currently have 10,000 energy, and I have 5. Why would you give them any more?

Source: one of them is actively biting my shin.

 

[wyldbrnch]

@ericab If anything it has the reverse effect on my kids. They’re absolutely ADHD and a little bit of caffeine truly does wonders to simmer things down a bit on occasion.

 

[xxxxxxxnarutoxxxxxxx]

@ericab It’s a fun ritual if it’s just one kid who wakes up early with you

 

[imperious]

@jam44 Frog and froggy are comical around here

 

[diamondeyez]

@jam44 Yesterday in the car my 2.5 yo son was shouting “COCK! COCK! COCK!”

I couldn’t understand where the fuck that came from, until I suggested cock a doodle doo and apparently that reminded him of the rest of the noise and then went through other animals.

Phew!

I’ve had the same pronunciation of “clock” too.

 

[alphaqueen]

@jam44 I fuck, I fuck!
(“I’m stuck, I’m stuck”)

Front door was locked and my 2YO was “stuck” outside while I got the mail and unlocked it.

 

[donnag]

@jam44 I remember (and have heard the story countless times) being 4 or 5 and my dad telling me to go tell my uncle he's a dump truck.

I excitedly ran over and told him "Uncle Bryan! My dad says you're a dum fuck!"

 

[ckmervin]

@jam44 My 5 year old the last couple of weeks have been like "Yeah I do Because I am a whole ass kid"

We had to correct him say that, while that is a correct usage.. he should only use it as home as some people may be offended by it.

He also will ask us why we curse if we let one slip. "papa.. why did you say shit?" "well I forgot to order dog food and now it won't come in time"

We have chosen to give him context and teach him how to use language. But also try to teach him the importance of the correct audience.

 

[savetheworld]

@jam44 I unintentionally taught my kid to let out a big sigh and say "fucks sakes" every time she drops something. It's so hard not to laugh. She's 2 lol

 

[aslansbud]

@jam44 My favourite was when our daughter was very small and she came out of a supermarket with us and started pointing out cars. She was trying to count them we think but only wanted to count to one, so in her nice British accent, she was pointing at people in their cars, shouting one car, one car, one car.

 

[tielec]

@jam44 Thats ok my MIL taught my son the word "fa**ot" this weekend!

 

[aliryme]

@jam44 My 3yo daughter loves singing the songs from Sing2, and goes around demanding we play ass’s sing from Sing.

 

[xeed122333]

@jam44 My wife sent us a postcard from her trip to New York City... My 21mo yelled "SHITTY!"

 

[jtcarrieres]

@jam44 My kid loves his “dump truck shirt”. Guess what it sounds like…

 

[bryantpwhite]

@jam44 I'm so horny

 

[jesuslovesme43]

@jam44 The other day I heard my 4 year old yelling “shit shit shit” I walked into the living room and he was just jumping around yelling “shit”. No ships in sight anywhere.

 

[jesuslover865]

@jam44 When I was a kid, my moms best friends husbands name was Chuck, I think we can all figure out how that turned out. I always called him Charlie after that, lol.