@atlanta I feel this so hard. I will say a lot of my friends did warn me that it was exhausting and tiring, however, you really cannot understand it until you’re in the trenches of it imo.
My girl is 4 months in 10 days, and my god I swear I don’t even fully remember the first 2 months of her life because I was a walking zombie doing everything to just survive (and that was with a supportive partner).
Being a parent is HARD, showing up every day is HARD. However, as cheesy as it sounds, once your baby starts smiling, giggling and becoming more than a little sack of potatoes it really makes it all feel worth it.
I don’t think it really started getting better till just shy of 11 weeks. I think that’s when the “fog” really started to clear for me. I will say, i’m entering the 4 month sleep regression and it’s a bitch lol. However, it is mildly better than when she was a newborn. I also feel more prepared because I survive (just barley) the newborn stage. I feel I’ve learnt “tricks” through trial and error from the NB stage to help us during this sleep regression, and I just keep reminding myself when it gets hard that it’s a stage, and it to shall pass.
Also, if you need to cry, just cry. Being a parent is hard, and there are days you’ll want to give up, but some how you survive the day and don’t feel prepared for tomorrow, but you still get through it.
Not sure if this resonates with you specifically, but i remember in the early days and weeks people going “oh you’ll know what she needs/wants based of her cry”. The only thing I could tell you in those early weeks about her cry is that they were loud and seemed constant. I felt horrible I couldn’t tell what she needed off of her cries and cues, i felt like a horrible mother. I don’t even know when it happened, but I do know a difference between some of her cries, and a lot of her cues for what she needs prior to her screaming (but she’s a baby, and of course still screams at times). I find myself telling family members or my partner “oh she’s gassy, oh she’s hungry, oh she’s tired” and more often than not i’m right. You just sort of get the hang of it one day, and then other days you’re way off, and sometimes you can’t do anything to make them stop crying other than just being there and letting them know they’re not alone.
I get through the hard days by talking to my partner, or sometimes just sitting in the room in silence with him when she’s sleeping. I reach out to friends, and ensure i’m brutally honest with them about the hard time i’m having. I tried to sugar coat things early on, make it seem like i had the worlds easiest baby and i was super strong …. it helped no one and honestly made me feel more hopeless. Take all the help you can get, and try to take as much care of yourself as you can during those early months. I remember i always tried to prioritize a showering, it just made me feel better. Whether I was able to accomplish one while she napped, or waited till my partner got home and got to take one without a worry of her waking. There were days I didn’t, and i didn’t get down on myself for it. It was a hard day, and that’s okay tomorrow is a new one.
All of this, just to basically say you will survive this.