My supervisor didn’t say I was ok to take the day before my planned c-section off…?

[qork]

@thevaliantx Aw, thank you!

 

[ruthilita]

@qork If any of this between your boss and HR is verbal send a follow up email and BCC your personal email to have in writing that "thanks for talking to me about my PTO use today, I look forward to hearing your response." Or something of that nature. I've been in too many screwy situations where having an old email I can whip out has helped. And not having one one time about a raise got me screwed out of it.

 

[acl777]

@qork With FMLA I had contractions day before my FMLA date and stayed home. They just adjusted my FMLA to start the day I called out.

On the other hand, when your boss says something like that, just say what I always say:
“That’s fine if it isn’t approved; but I won’t be here regardless”

 

[supercat]

@qork Do you have documentation that you submitted a request for the day off? If not I would go ahead and do something that leaves a paper trail. If she denies you or doesn't approve it in time, call off. If they give you a hard time file a grievance with HR.

I find it completely unreasonable and total bullshit that she would even hesitate to say yes to the day off. I'm betting she doesn't have kids.

Good luck and congrats!!

 

[shaebug]

@qork I hope it is just a paperwork issue, and not them not being able to handle you being out of office 1 day earlier... because babies can be unpredictable (you might go into labor before your scheduled c-section)! Both mine came at 38+1 or 38+2!

 

[fallinofftheedgetoday]

@qork Why is your doctor not writing you out on disability? Generally docs will do that 4 weeks before your due date. You should not have to work in your 9th month of your don't want to.

Your supervisor is insane.

 

[qork]

@fallinofftheedgetoday Mmm, I don’t know about “generally” doctors doing that. My first pregnancy was a planned induction, and I worked right up to the Friday before having to check in at the hospital at 6:00 PM the next day. I certainly don’t want to work, but I also don’t want to not be paid or risk not having more time with my newborn after her arrival. It’s been hard, but this is the US and no one makes anything easy.

 

[fallinofftheedgetoday]

@qork Yeah, I'm in the US too. I can only speak with authority about California where I've been in HR. But here at least, it is universal that women can request to be off work on disability beginning 4 weeks before due date without having any exceptional reason beyond "I'm super pregnant and uncomfortable."

I know that at least 11 other states do this as well where they offer pregnancy disability leave.

Your state may not offer paid leave, but your doctor can still write you out as disabled. You may not get paid for that day, but the point is that your supervisor cannot just say "no". If she does, you can just say "ok, then I'm on FMLA starting now, see ya." You have that right as long as you've worked for your company for at least 12 months.

Your supervisor is probably checking with HR how to handle the pay/policy, but if she's actually considering saying no, she's going to find that's not her decision.

 

[trout11]

@fallinofftheedgetoday CA is very unique in offering paid leave prior to delivery without pregnancy complications.

And no, a doc cannot just “write you out as disabled”. They have to be able to medically support it. If it’s not medically supported, FMLA will be denied for that day.

 

[fallinofftheedgetoday]

@trout11 I cannot imagine there is a doctor anywhere who would refuse to sign a disability application from a 38 week pregnant person.

If OP doesn't want to use that option because it would be unpaid and could eat into her postpartum disability time, then that's one thing. But the option to be signed out by 38 weeks is open in every state.

If your Obgyn won't write you off work at 38 weeks, you need a new Obgyn IMMEDIATELY

 

[trout11]

@fallinofftheedgetoday If I were unable to work, sure. I have an office job and felt great right up to delivery, so I didn’t need to not work. Being pregnant is not in and of itself a disability, though many women have complications making them unable to work. A doc is not going to write someone out of work without some rationale, because that’s falsifying documents.

 

[somnambulist]

@fallinofftheedgetoday I had to get a Covid test the day before mine and I’m pretty sure I had some bloodwork too… doubt they care about Covid but you may want to find out what the preop procedures are if any.

 

[nenji]

@qork I always thought it was a myth that the US works right up until their due date but my eyes have been opened by this sub on how bad mat leave is over there! I wish you luck and if they don't give it, I'd call in sick that day

 

[qork]

@nenji No myth, this was the situation with my first pregnancy too. The first was a planned induction scheduled on a Saturday and I worked the full Friday before. At least I didn’t have to report to the hospital until 6:00 PM on that Saturday, so there was some time for last-minute preparations.

And unfortunately, I cannot use sick time because I don’t have any. I have used it all on calling out due to my own health and needing to stay home with my toddler throughout the first half of this year. The US does not make this shit easy.

Thank you for the well-wishes!

 

[nenji]

@qork They really don't make it easy. I really hope this changes soon! It must be so stressful to have to deal with it all. Sending more well wishes!

 

[joint_praise]

@nenji I worked a week and a half past my due date with my first. She was nearly 2 weeks late and I didn’t want to waste my maternity leave while I was just waiting for labor to start. I worked in the office 2 days past my due date then took my computer home that Friday and wfh the following week. I also worked a few days past with my second and she was born that weekend. We have to ration our time since we have so little.

 

[nenji]

@joint_praise This is wild! We have get a letter from the hospital with our due date and maternity leave starts two weeks prior to that date. It's such a shame to have so little time to prep and then afterwards too. I hope this changes for you all soon!

 

[joint_praise]

@nenji I believe California includes 2 weeks before the due date that’s take it or lose it so people take it. It’s improving from basically having nothing, but it’s not good yet.

 

[katrina2017]

@qork “I will not be here on Wednesday as I’m preparing to deliver the next morning, I’ll let you know when I’ll be back after my maternity leave”. It’s not asking, it’s telling.

 

[emjay1985]

@qork She just sounds unsure. My own bosses over time would have let me take off and then shrug off any fallout. But your supervisor might be more timid or may have had a bad experience. I wouldn't overthink it.