I was not expecting taking care of a newborn to be so hard

@barlowgirl Yes!! I never realized they can only stay awake for maybe an hour if you’re lucky in the beginning. Over tired baby was so hard. Huckleberry is expensive but so worth it
 
@atlanta I feel the same. My husband and I thought we would be bored and have a lot of down time to do things around the house. Jokes on us, we spend our entire day just trying to figure out how to get an obviously tired baby to sleep and stay asleep. I never have time to do anything. When my husband isn’t home I don’t even get to wash my face or brush my teeth, let alone be bored. No one tells you how much energy has to go into getting a baby to sleep for them to only sleep less than 2 hours and then the whole process starts again.
 
@atlanta No one warns you how hard postpartum is on the female body on top of having to learn how to look after a little human. You’re exhausted from pregnancy and then labour and then expected to crack on and raise a baby. A lot of people don’t have that “village” anymore either and I know in the UK paternity leave is poo so you end up without your partner as well.

Postpartum really is a cruel little joke against mums. I’m 3 weeks in and I run off caffeine and hormones - I hope it becomes enjoyable soon
 
@toddje It’s only a vacation if you got families to take on some or a lot of the burden.

My friend’s brother and wife pretty much used maternity leave as vacation. Since baby was 4 weeks, they started travelling and left baby with both grandparents. They were on leave for 12 months and no lie, 6 months were travelling. They got upset that their baby cried when they picked him up from the grandparents.
 
@atlanta I remember wishing newborns had an off button for just a few uninterrupted hours- that’s all- just a few. But honestly if I hadn’t had that particular thought I would have forgotten how it was. I’m now decades past NB stage and you do simply forget. Aww. Baby’s are cuddly , aww babies are sweet, aww baby’s are the best— when in reality babies are unappeasable tyrants. lol. Hang on mama. Try to get some help. If books were more honest about it then women would get more help; we would know that lining up a post birth team is important.
 
@atlanta I think the hardest part for me has been the mental load. I feel like I am on call 24/7, and the baby is always on my mind no matter what I am doing, and I can never entirely just chill or be braindead. I will say, once she started sleeping longer, so many of my problems magically disappeared. It's really incredible what a full night of sleep can do for you. Also, she is a happy girl now, and her squeals and smiles really fill up my happy meter. We are at 10 weeks now, and things are better but more difficult in other ways: she seems bored more often and frustrated that she can see things yet can't move her body that well, and her sleep is lighter so she sometimes it takes me putting her to bed three times before succeeding, whereas before she could sleep through a bomb. So now when I go to lay her down my anxiety is so high that my heart is beating a million miles an hour in my ears, and I can't fall asleep for an hour. Overall, I think I'm getting happier the bigger she gets.
 
@atlanta Be gentle on yourself mama, you’re doing the hardest job in the world, the best way you know how!

I went through all of this with my little one (she is almost 4 months old now) I’ll try and give some tips best I can.

Eating - my girl gets super uncomfortable if she needs to burp, she also doesn’t like getting burped over the shoulder. I sit her on my knee with one hand on her chest and the other on her lower back, I straighten her back out and I usually get a nice burp. If your nursing, offer the other side when she is finished (burping in between)

Bathing - key is getting the water temp right, making sure the room is warm. Sometimes it helps to lay a cloth across their chest and keep putting warm water to it to keep their core warm. When I take my girl out of bath I let her latch on right away, it soothes her. Lately I started using the hair dryer on low and she looooooves it! Sometimes it even puts her to sleep! Also, I’ve had baths with her and it is the most special thing (make sure you have someone to pass you baby and help both of you out of tub)

Tummy time - tummy time does not have to be on the floor. Laying reclined with baby on your belly counts as tummy time, lay baby across your legs counts. Holding baby up with head supported also builds neck muscles. I bought the Fisher Price play mat and it was a GAME CHANGER!!!! My girl loves it. She will do tummy time on it or she loves to lay on her back on the nursing pillow playing with the toys that hang. But beware , those songs will be stuck in your head for a lifetime!

Lastly, I promise it does get better. How old is your LO?
 
@cjames99 He will be 4 weeks tomorrow. And I do feel that the only things he likes are contact naps and nursing. It's hard since I expected a calm baby which, you know, enjoys tummy time, baths and so on.
 
@atlanta Honestly I think that’s just the newborn phase. My girl was the EXACT SAME. Sleep, eat, bum change, repeat. Just wanted to nurse and nap, half of the time she would latch on and just fall asleep. Every baby is different and hit milestones at their own pace, but I couldn’t lay my girl on the floor for tummy time until she was 3 months old.. she WOULD NOT tolerate it - we did the chest to chest mostly. There was one day, just a couple of weeks ago, that ‘boom’ she could hold her head without looking like a cute bobble head lol. Try not to stress or rush it, you’re doing great! The fact that you came on here looking for advice or even to rant, says so much!!!!
 
@atlanta My baby is about to be 3 months and she still hates tummy time. The only way I’ve been able to get there to try it for a few minutes without immediately crying was getting her a boppy tummy time pillow and then I put her favorite toy in front of her to look at. This only started working maybe two weeks ago. Before that, the only time we were able to do any kind of tummy time was on my chest.
 
@atlanta Waaaaaaaaaait!!! Don't forget sleep deprivation and fighting with your partner and thinking of divorcing everytime!
This is so much fun!!!
Hahaha yeah... I think people romanticize maternity and paternity A LOT. Maybe they should write (or promote and sell more) books about how to deal with these horrible moments and how to take care of your mental health during the process.
 
@atlanta Yes my mother kept telling me newborns are so easy. Just take care of their basic needs 😬 no one said you’ll stress yourself the f out because they’re crying and you can’t figure out if it’s just part of being a tiny human or a true emergency!
 
@atlanta My line of thought:

"He spent 9ish months with all of his needs met before he knew he needed them. Now he has to alert others and then wait. Of course he is frustrated. He is doing his best and so well considering how new he is.

I spent 9ish months meeting all of his needs before he knew what his needs were and now I have to guess what those needs are and meet them while he tries his current best to wait. Of course I am frustrated. I want him to have his needs met and to be happy. I am doing my best and am doing well considering how new at this i am. "
 
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