I fell while holding my 3 y.o. Niece.. would you ever forgive me if I was your SIL?

[humbleknight]

@bigphi008 Yeah I’d forgive you. Kids are clumsy and they themselves will have falls. Or bump into things and have bruises. Plus it was an accident and the kid wasn’t even really hurt after. Accidents happen and it isn’t like you were doing something reckless and putting her life in danger. I’ve done something careless before as well. I was curling my hair in front of the mirror/sink in our half bathroom downstairs. I had the door open so I could keep an eye on my so. Was around 3 years old. I set the curling iron on the sink while I sectioned off more hair. He stepped on the cord which made it fall from the sink. Straight towards his face. I reached out and grabbed it..by the barrel with my right (dominant) hand. Had I grabbed it by the handle the barrel would have most certainly still made contact with his face. Now thinking back on it that was stupid of me. I should have been more careful especially when using something that could cause serious burns. It was careless of me.

I’m sure your niece has likely already forgotten the incident or at the very least doesn’t think about what happened and has moved on.

 

[bigphi008]

@humbleknight So hard and I feel like I really struggle to anticipate some of the less obvious dangers due to not having my own kids or being around my niece more than a couple hours a week. Usually when she’s visiting the whole family is over and multiple people are watching her or giving me feedback on if I’m doing something wrong. I also bet it gets even harder actually being a parent due to having to be alert about all of this constantly rather than the few hours they’re over. I commend you parents and all you do. And thank you for sharing your story so I can learn vicariously!!

 

[sarahlouisemorg]

@bigphi008 I would absolutely forgive you, accidents happen. One time I was getting my youngest out of our van when she was like 1ish. When I went to step onto the curb I tripped and had to do some weird matrix shit so I wouldn't land on her. I was so sore, but she was fine. My husband was up ahead with our other kids and he said when he saw me it was like in slow motion and he just couldn't save me, lol.

Kids are much more durable than you could imagine. They beat themselves up regularly, let alone if they have siblings... my youngest 2 have fight club... so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

 

[lumenlight]

@bigphi008 Yes, of course. In fact, I'd probably love you even more for instinctively protecting my baby in a "crisis".

 

[arlenberte]

@bigphi008 Don't worry about it. These things happen. No one got hurt (aside from your knees) and it will be forgotten soon enough.

I have 2 kids and this doesn't even break my top 10 whoopsies with my kids. 10, 9 and 8 below for reference.

At number 10 - I was putting my daughter into the car (she was 2 at the time) and I misjudged and banged her head into the pointy bit of the car door. Big bruise, visit to A&E and felt really guilty.

At number 9 - daughter again - I was playing with my son (2 at the time) by grabbing him and throwing myself back onto the bed. Anyway, my daughter (4 at the time) got behind me, I didn't see and I slammed the back of my head into her face and burst her lip open. Blood everywhere but was fine. I felt awful.

At number 8 - my son was behind the bathroom door and I didn't know. I pushed the door open hard and he headbutted it then fell back and fell into the toilet (not sure how this happened but he went headfirst in) was hilarious but also an "oh shit" moment.

These things happen - don't worry.

 

[bigphi008]

@arlenberte Thank you for the examples and making me feel just like a regular accident prone human! The last one, oh my gosh what a series of unfortunate events!!

 

[arlenberte]

@bigphi008 excellent. Most of it is finding your way.

Honestly, parents and caregivers should be less harsh on themselves. We are doing our best

 

[bigphi008]

@arlenberte Right!! I think there’s a lot of truth to that. A different set of niblings I used to take care of 8 hours a week twice a week. I had three at once and never had such incidents. I was thinking “how could I be so much less clumsy then?” This set of nieces I only see once a week and mom, grandma, dad, uncle, grandpa all usually relaxing together so I’m thinking I’m out of practice lol! I remember how exhausted I’d be as a 19 y.o. watching the three little ones at once I commend all you parents.

 

[arlenberte]

@bigphi008 We have two and it's gotten easier now they are 2 and 4. We spent the afternoon in our hammocks in the garden and it was lovely.

Then the 2yo, after lulling me into a false sense of security, decided to quietly open my toolbox and was running around the garden with a pair of mole grips - I have never covered 30ft so quickly!

They are looking for the easiest and most novel way to hurt themselves.

 

[rrderit]

@bigphi008 Just wanted to say I am grateful for your post and all the replies. I am newly an Aunt and I would feel the same exact way you are feeling if I was in the same situation. But I also have to point out how amazing it is you fell but in such a way that your niece only had a scrape! Hope you are healing well!

 

[spacecowboy]

@bigphi008 Im sure you will be a very great parent! Goodluck being an amazing mom!

 

[jpermann4]

@bigphi008 Mum could have fell with her. Dad could have. Could have been in daylight.

Forgive yourself sounds like you were more injured than your niece and your SIL is cool with it accident happen.

My poor kids all have had numerous bumps to the head via me

 

[adamlftm]

@bigphi008 Look, no one caring for a child is perfect, and accidents happen. You didn't intend to fall. You didn't throw her. Parents who claim nothing has ever happened like that to their baby, are either lying through their teeth or a stage 5 helicopter parent. I have a second cousin that got nicknamed Tweety due to his mother knocking his head on door frames so much it actually changed the shape of his head! So, you are doing fine.

 

[dbj6417]

@bigphi008 There’s nothing to forgive. Accidents happen. When my kids were babies I can’t count the number of times I was holding them and accidentally smacked their heads on a doorframe as I walked by… I don’t have the best spatial awareness. My husband put a scar on one kid’s forehead because he accidentally sliced their forehead with his fingernail. The scar is still clearly visible 4 years later. These types of things happen all the time when you are a parent.

 

[yellowflowers]

@bigphi008 My aunt was holding my then 10 month old son and walking down our front porch steps. One of the steps caved in and she fell down the last 3 and landed on her back on a concrete slab we have at the bottom of them. She got turned and my son was completely fine just scared. She was terrified I’d never let her hold him again, but when we knew everything was fine with both of them (besides some gnarly bruises on her) she still left with him that day to go hang out at her house. That was nearly 4 years ago and just last Easter my son was running through the house and fell, splitting his temple open requiring 3 stitches. Kids fall all the time, they’re gonna get hurt and spooked. It was an accident and it will probably happen again too. But that is life and there is no reason to beat yourself up over it.

 

[kalota]

@bigphi008 Please don't worry yourself over this. The fact that you are this upset over something that is purely accidental shows what a great mom you will be. My daughter was running through the kitchen the other day and literally fell over her own feet and went head first into the cupboard. This was right in front of me. Cried for one minute then was back to running again. Kids are made of rubber.

 

[raika]

@bigphi008 My teenage bro was playing with my 3y/o and kid fell head first on tiles pretty bad (they were chasing eachother). We just made sure kiddo was ok and reminded bro to keep play calm. No bad blood due to it. Heck i have fallen with my kids before too

 

[donnakb]

@bigphi008 Of course. Accidents happen, and it's even easier to have an accident while holding a toddler. No worries, we all have dropped a toddler or two in our lifetimes.

 

[in_jesus_i_trust]

@bigphi008 It was an accident I might be a bit like “oh for f sake” but I’d be over it within the hour… I’ve almost stacked it multiple times carrying my daughter around.

Don’t be hard on yourself at the end of the day you didn’t purposely throw her or anything.

 

[natalijaasbj]

@bigphi008 Hey. This makes me think you have some anxiety issues. Kid is fine. You’d be insta forgiven. My kid knocked her tooth out at the park with my ex’s dad when she was three. I still totally trust him.