@marycris This made me feel so validated Iām a first time mom with a 15 m/o and I donāt know any other local mamas IRL who parent like we have chosen to ā¦ it gets so lonely sometimes & even leads to self-doubt here and there, but definitely also a lot of shock and frustration. Thank you for this rant lol and also insight into AP with bigs!!
@hannrr Back when my kids were little there wasnāt Facebook, so I found a group on yahoo lol
A local AP group. I attended some of their events and found a few mamas that I clicked with in the larger group. Then we sometimes broke off from the big group and had our own playgroups or hangouts. Try a local AP moms group. If you can or want to you wonāt want to hang out with everyone, but after a few times Iām sure youāll find someone you donāt mind spending time with. Hugs to you too Mama Right now my 19 year old is asleep in my bed with me while I nurse the baby. Sheās loves taking care of baby. Itās wonderful to see their bond and love grow !!!
@marycris Iām crying. I havenāt ever wanted to do cry I out. But being in the thick of it can make it seems so hard and like thereās no point to everything youāre doing. But if it means one day my baby boy thatās grown into an adult might want to snuggle with his mom on vacation, Iād be so happy. We were up at 5 am and took 2 hours to go back to sleep, so weāve had a rough morning.
@katrina2017 Ahhh So sweet. Actually my middle daughter (19) is in bed with me and slept with me and baby girl last nightYou got this Mama !!!! Itāll be over before you know it
@marycris I tried gently teaching him to sleep independently. I started with checking his sleep cues feeding him to calm him down and rocking then into crib beside me with white noise. If he cried iād pick him up if putting my hand on him didnāt work and rock him again. He is 5 months now and I just feed him, and sit and talk to to him beside the crib while he babbles himself to sleep. If he cries, i pick him up and if it is a bad cry i comfort nurse. Iām a FTM so I donāt know if what Iām doing to right or wrong. But i could not do CIO. I think some people may be desperate though? I got mat leave for a year, some donāt have that luxury
@marycris I didn't even realize we've been doing attachment parenting. I didn't know it was a thing! It's just been so natural to hold her and comfort her as much as she wanted.
I was told, before I had her, imagine your 70 and had the chance to go back in time to hold your baby just one more time.
And that's always stuck.
@marycris Loved reading this. I also have to mute my mom's group regularly. One mom just had a newborn, refused to even give him colostrum and is immediately trying to dry up. Her babies sleep in separate rooms from the start. It's terrible.
@marycris I have a one and three year old and weāve always contact napped and cosleep still. Wouldnāt want it any other way and so nice to hear your big kids still love snuggles! I hope for the same when mine are older.
@marycris Those kinds of posts make me sooo sad!! I had to leave several mom groups on FB bc all I kept seeing was sleep training and CIO. They grow so so sooo fast I donāt understand how some moms donāt love the attachment and snuggles.
@marycris My MIL constantly tells me Iām spoiling my LO and I should leave her in a room on her own to cry for 10-15 mins. She also tells me my 7 week old has me wrapped around her little finger. I just ignore her because thereās no telling her any different but itās made me realise I cannot rely on her for childcare anytime soon!
@jessi4jc Ugh !!! Thatās the worst !!! What is wrong with being wrapped around a 7 week old baby finger anyways. So annoying. She has the worst information. Imagine kettting a tiny baby cry alone. I canāt even. I canāt understand why people want to have babies if they just think attending to their needs is inconvenient or āmanipulation.ā Their mindset is incomprehensible. Sorry about your MIL. You definitely canāt leave baby with her. So sad.