@maddielovesbaseball Same. I just pray for them. Send them some angels to be with them.
I had forgotten how different I am from other parents
- Thread starter marycris
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ashish_nanda
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@marycris I love love love this!!! I’m 40 with a 19,17,8 and almost 5 year old and have been tinkering with the idea of having another baby. I love the idea of another one but was afraid with all the talk about “aging”. In all reality I feel like NOW is the time in my maturity that I would be the best person to have have another child and bring my other children closer together.
@ashish_nanda Hiiii !!!! I’m 39 !!!! I’ll be 40 this Nov, it is really interesting and actually pretty awesome to be able to have the perspective and knowledge that I have now with this little boo. Age wise, yes I’m older than other moms but actually more now then ever people are waiting so late to have their babies and it’s really common to have older parents. So you’re in good company. Also having an AP brain helps tremendously about perspective. It’s crazy interesting to look at all things baby/kid 21-17 years later. So here’s to cheering you on for another baby if that works out in your life 
ashish_nanda
New member
@ashish_nanda Oh yes !!! You’re welcome !!!! The best part about having a new baby after bigs is the perspective of this time will pass, it’s only temporary and what matters most is taking care of baby the most compassionate way possible, dispute my immediate discomfort at times. Good luck !!! I’ll follow you !!! Message me anytime !!! It’s nice to find someone else with big age gaps too !!!
morehumble
New member
@marycris It isn't common here. Medical professionals use fear tactics heavily, because they aren't allowed to tell you whether you should or shouldn't have children. It can be awful for older mothers wanting children. You're so heavily discouraged over 35 even when there aren't outstanding circumstances.
I'm old enough to be the parent of numerous of my oldest child's friend's parents. I know that's a mouthful.
I'm old enough to be the parent of numerous of my oldest child's friend's parents. I know that's a mouthful.
@morehumble Where are you ??? In America, america is so career focused and less family focused woman are now pushed to prioritize a career instead of a family. So they are waiting later and later. Especially in the last 5 years. One of my good friends lives in Sweden where she said they will no proform
IVF on someone older and if they do they will only do one or two rounds.
IVF on someone older and if they do they will only do one or two rounds.
morehumble
New member
morehumble
New member
@ashish_nanda Fellow older mother here. My youngest in the crew is 10 months. I tire of the comments, but don't regret it one bit.
ashish_nanda
New member
@morehumble This comment is golden 
Thank you!
Thank you!whoneedstoknow
New member
@ashish_nanda Older mom here too! 
Will be 40 in a few months. My first is almost 1, would like to have 1 or 2 more. All the naysaying is why I switched to a midwife and homebirthed. Best decision I made. Midwife was very pro AP, breastfeeding, bed sharing etc - and did not doomsday me for my age. Just a thought if homebirths are legal where you are, it definitely helps with all the negativity around older moms to have your medical team in your corner. Wishing you the best! 
Will be 40 in a few months. My first is almost 1, would like to have 1 or 2 more. All the naysaying is why I switched to a midwife and homebirthed. Best decision I made. Midwife was very pro AP, breastfeeding, bed sharing etc - and did not doomsday me for my age. Just a thought if homebirths are legal where you are, it definitely helps with all the negativity around older moms to have your medical team in your corner. Wishing you the best! whatwasoldisnewagain
New member
@marycris edited: Because I said my son was 2 years old and I meant 2 weeks old.
So...when my son was 2 weeks old and I was clueless I asked my mom group about sleep training. They were horrified. I didn't get it.
Until I started actually reading about sleep training and what it meant. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. I thought sleep training was just sage advice on what times to expose your baby to light, how often to feed (if more often than I do), some kind of magical routine. They probably thought I was psychotic.
Even Ferber and whatever his name is, the guy who advocated to leave baby to cry all night, even THEY say you can't do it until your baby is at least 5 months old. It's not only cruel but SUPER DANGEROUS to sleep train a newborn.
So...when my son was 2 weeks old and I was clueless I asked my mom group about sleep training. They were horrified. I didn't get it.
Until I started actually reading about sleep training and what it meant. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. I thought sleep training was just sage advice on what times to expose your baby to light, how often to feed (if more often than I do), some kind of magical routine. They probably thought I was psychotic.
Even Ferber and whatever his name is, the guy who advocated to leave baby to cry all night, even THEY say you can't do it until your baby is at least 5 months old. It's not only cruel but SUPER DANGEROUS to sleep train a newborn.
@whatwasoldisnewagain I felt this !!!! You know, it wasn’t even just wondering about sleep training. It was people literally full on advocating for letting baby cry it out. I’d provide links and suggestions. Some people did say not to do this till 5 months or so. I hope the links and suggestions some others gave helped those people, but you never know. Some people have no interest in learning or researching.
vanillaface
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kathleenloveschrist
New member
@marycris I have a friend - well had a friend - who did the CIO when her daughter was 4 months. Our daughters are the same age and I just can't bear the thought of it. She says she went in the garden while the baby screamed, and she's like laughing about it and telling me and my husband how wonderful it is to have their evenings to themselves again, and now any time my daughter (now 20 months) is being a terror at night my husband says "well you know what you could have done so you can't complain".
whatwasoldisnewagain
New member
@kathleenloveschrist Sometimes husbands really do deserve a swift kick in the balls.
@kathleenloveschrist Makes me sick. Purposeful neglect.
@kathleenloveschrist What in the hell. Poor baby. I let go of so many friends when I had babies bc I could not be friends with someone who did that. Our parenting and mindsets would clash so … our paths split. Poor little girl.
lightsaber
New member
@marycris Congrats on your little one and on successfully raising big kiddos this way. I'm sure you have a lot of wonderful advice, but you can't keep giving advice if its draining you. I'm a first time mom and who knows if I would've fell into that trap or not. Luckily my husband was advised by a Le Leche leader to read Sears fathering book during my pregnancy and that really steered us to AP. I try to drop book recommendations when I see comments that disturb me and people seem open to finding the books. I think parents are just desperately trying anything and get so much crap information.
shanrobert
New member
@marycris My daughter barely ever cried as a newborn. People were really amazed at her easy temperament. The thing is: my daughter was an absolute Velcro baby and I know that those same people would not call that easy. It’s just that when I met this need of her for closeness that she was so happy and content. She is 17m old and she is such a gentle, happy and well behaved kid