I don’t like my daughter’s friend. And they’re 7

[katrina2017]

@iamactullygabenist No, I did not mean to come across that way. I was saying, maybe the girl across the street isn't so bad.

 

[katrina2017]

@olly91 You know, as cliche as it is, I do think a lot of it stemmed from self esteem issues. I elevated myself because I felt less than. Could that be an issue here?

 

[iamactullygabenist]

@katrina2017 No worries, it was just funny.

 

[terenceo]

@katrina2017

would say that I'm an incredibly thoughtful and empathetic person now.

Are you bragging/comparing your thoughtfulness and empathy?

 

[katrina2017]

@terenceo I am not. I am using myself as an example that maybe this girl isn't a terrible person.

 

[tammyt]

@katrina2017 are you now.

 

[patricia1990]

@katrina2017 ([sup]More[/sup] [sup]than[/sup] [sup]all[/sup] [sup]off[/sup] [sup]you)[/sup]

 

[katrina2017]

@patricia1990 No, it's weird people took that from my comment. I was trying to say that 8 year olds can act like that and not be bad to the core.

 

[patricia1990]

@katrina2017 I was only joking

 

[nicholas11]

@katrina2017 it was really funny. ;-)

 

[sakura2015]

@katrina2017

I grew out of it and I would say that I'm an incredibly thoughtful and empathetic person now.

Jesus. A reminder that we've all still got a ways to go I guess.

 

[katrina2017]

@sakura2015 I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. Why is it bad to say that I consciously try very hard to be a good person? I was using myself as a child as an example that this girl might just be going through a phase like I was and could really be a nice person.

 

[sakura2015]

@katrina2017 Haha. I'm sure you are a perfectly kind person. It's just considered rude to compliment oneself, and presents as being socially unaware more than anything else.

Probably comes off worse because you're talking about how thoughtful and empathetic you are.

 

[johnanon]

@sakura2015 It's not rude to compliment yourself. It's rude if you compliment yourself by belittling other people

 

[livinginhislight]

@sakura2015 The person didn't compliment themselves. They simply described qualities they consider themselves to possess, and only to make the point that adults should be kind to children even if a child exhibits poor behaviour.

 

[livinginhislight]

@sakura2015 I would say the difference between a compliment and a description is that a compliment makes a value judgement and is intended as praise. Ex: 'Your hair is red' vs 'Your red hair looks great'.

The reason that the original comment appeared to be a compliment is because the description was of an attribute that most people consider to be a positive thing. And whilst the value judgement and praise of a compliment can often be implicit, it is also.possible for a quality that is widely considered positive to be objectively identified. The difference comes down to the intent: does the observer wish to compliment or do they wish to describe? Given the context of the original comment, I would suggest that they intended to describe one of their attributes not to compliment themselves but to describe themselves so as to make a point about emotional development.

Just an aside: when someone makes a statement that can be interpreted as rude or not (or mean or not, etc) when we have no other context, it is more kind to assume the more positive interpretation, until they give us a reason to think otherwise.

 

[katrina2017]

@sakura2015 I generally don't practice my acute "social awareness" on Reddit.

 

[sakura2015]

@katrina2017 I don't either, heh. Which is why I'm telling a stranger they came off as impolite. So obviously I apparently don't think it's much of a sin.

 

[clark_kent]

@sakura2015 I actually thought it was a self- deprecating joke, but looking at their responses - nope, lol

 

[naivegirl]

@katrina2017 I mean - this is fantastic advice and a really good approach… but what about “stfu you 8 year old, what do you know?” (/s)