I don’t even know anymore

[underscorezero]

@lunarrise Thanks so much. That’s very helpful

 

[jdeds]

@underscorezero I made the mistake of telling my parents we were trying. It’s resulted in a horrible journey of realizing and finding out my parents just really kinda suck. They don’t provide support or keep anything confidential even when asked. They only want the fun happy good times part of grandkids, and no part in the horrible traumatic shit I’m going through. They’ve shown no support, and it hurts. It’s a horrible realization, and one I didn’t want to see for most of my life, that they’re just kinda… not great at being friends and don’t care to establish an adult relationship with me.

 

[sojourner8]

@jdeds That is so rubbish, I'm sorry. My family have been out of my life for many years, because they suck. I have come to peace with it by surrounding myself with good friends. My husband has come to the same realisation recently with his family and I feel so bad for him. They seemed like nice people but we make all the effort to keep the relationship going and they still complain we don't do enough

 

[saknyc]

@underscorezero I'm so sorry, that's such a shitty thing especially coming from a parent who knows you're struggling. My mom (who doesn't even know we're trying) recently hit me with "your dad and I have accepted that we'll never be grandparent"

 

[underscorezero]

@saknyc Oh that’s awful. That comment was so selfish. They don’t take into account that we’re trying to accept that we might never be parents

 

[lanmind]

@underscorezero I’m sorry you had to deal with that. My mom likes to do the “if you conceive this month your baby will be due in June!! And then we can do xyz…” I asked her not to do that because it was upsetting for me and she was very receptive. Have you told your mom how those kind of comments feel?

 

[underscorezero]

@lanmind Honestly she’s never said anything like that before other than the go-to ‘just relax’ type comments several months ago. And I did tell her to cool it because having babies just doesn’t work that way. I can’t relax a baby into my uterus. Lol

 

[williams36]

@underscorezero Tell her. Send her a screenshot of this. Let her know she is hurting you.
My mom had 3 pregnancies and 2 kids. My brother was born 13 months after me and had she not chosen abortion that's around the same age difference between my brother and would be sibling. My entire family is hyper fertile.
She used to send cute pictures but stopped once we entered "there are issues" territory.
It isn't that hard being thoughtful and never having issues is no excuse

 

[masterod]

@underscorezero If it helps any, my mom is not being helpful either. It took her 6 years to have me and she had endometriosis. I have been down the path of trying to investigate if I have it too. I went to her for support 2 weeks ago hoping if ANYONE could understand my situation it would be her. Instead I was dismissed and told “it will happen when it happens” and “you can’t control this”. I was so disappointed in her I haven’t spoken to her in 2 weeks and we used to speak almost every day. I just feel so alone and thought if anyone would understand it would be her. I feel like sometimes our parents come with real limitations and it’s upsetting that they can’t give more emotional support than we hope for. It’s a shitty thing about learning to cope with the big things in life. I am lending a virtual hug to you and hope you are feeling less alone

 

[underscorezero]

@masterod Ugh you’d think your mom would understand! I’m sorry she diminished your struggle. You’re too sweet, thank you! Definitely feeling less alone and sad now but man sometimes it’s rough out here

 

[masterod]

@underscorezero Yes definitely rough!!

 

[christian33]

@underscorezero I am so sorry that to hear that! I know how much those types of comments really hurt. I actually don’t talk to my mom about it because she is notorious for making off hand hurtful comments. I do feel it helps to let people know that those typed of comments are hurtful. My messages are always open of you need someone to talk to/a ttc pal!

 

[concettacarpenter]

@underscorezero I'm sorry to hear about your story. It's such a painful thing to hear. We are still new in our journey (4 cycles), but I already had some people react in the same vibe as you I wish you the best and I really hope that your mom didn't mean harm and just though of you in a positive way

 

[underscorezero]

@concettacarpenter I’m sure her thought process was wishing she had an excuse to buy those cute pants. They were super cute. But sometimes i think it slips her mind that having babies and talking about them is triggering. When we were at the 4 month mark I was down in the dumps because I was so scared. Your feelings are valid. Before the year mark people discount your feelings and that sucks too.

 

[tormentedsinner]

@underscorezero I suffer from irregular cycles as well. Are you using OPKs? A lot of people recommend the clear blue ones with the smiley faces but honestly they’re expensive and this last go around have proved to be inaccurate. Try these: Easy@Home Ovulation Test Strips... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F3IH58Y?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I’m not sharing because I’m some sort of influencer looking for commission. Fully paid customer, non-influencer, someone who felt they had trouble spent $$$ on clear blue and these give a better reading and have an app to help you read the test.

And if it makes you feel better. I told my MIL we were struggling and she showed up to my house (from out of state) with newborn baby clothes. and then she cried because my husband said it’s a sensitive subject and to cool it. Not a big deal tho (because fuck my feelings for the sake of his mothers), but she went and cried to my FIL too about what my husband said.

 

[underscorezero]

@tormentedsinner I haven’t tried OPKs but I have tried temping and it’s very inconclusive. My temps are all over the place and nothing ever happens. I’ve tracked everything from moods to CM and nothing seems to give.
Ugh, mothers in law. That was a terrible thing for her to do.

 

[tormentedsinner]

@underscorezero Definitely check out the OPKs I sent! The clear blue once’s like never got my ovulation (I ovulate after day 21 and have anywhere from 34-44 day cycles) but those tests are able to pick it up from like the lowest days and then it’ll get darker until you hit the ovulation period and then you should take them a couple days after the darkest test and they should get light! Way imo better than the expensive clear blue ones! This will help you learn your cycle too!

 

[underscorezero]

@tormentedsinner And by irregular cycles, I haven’t seen a period since Nov 2022 so I think we’re beyond irregular

 

[tormentedsinner]

@underscorezero I would 100% talk to your OBGYN about that one. I think you need some sort of cycle to conceive. I’m not sure in that I’m not a medical professional but no period to me tells me no ovulation. You should be able to schedule a family planning visit with your OBGYN to talk about options.

 

[underscorezero]

@tormentedsinner I’m currently in the process of switching doctors and getting all my info released to the new hospital. My old OB had no concerns about it, and said he wouldn’t do anything until we were at 1 yr TTC (which I know is the guideline) but at the time we were TNP