I did it. I left him. I am not okay

[panictopeace]

@mdjuelrana Thank you so much.
I am so grateful for this community.

 

[brokenbonds]

@panictopeace This is the best thing you could have done for your daughter AND for yourself. I know it seems scary right now, but you’ll get through it and be better on the other side.

I’ve been through it myself, and I won’t lie and say it’ll be easy, but it will absolutely be worth it to be free from the constant abuse and be able to raise your daughter in a safe environment.

 

[panictopeace]

@brokenbonds Thank you very much.
It really really helps to hear you say that.

It's very not easy, but there is already an extremely small part of that Is relived that I left.

 

[brokenbonds]

@panictopeace The part that is relieved will get louder over time…Have you reached out to any lawyers just yet to see what needs to be done for custody?

 

[panictopeace]

@brokenbonds The shelter I'm staying at will help me with that.
I think i need to pass quarantine first? But they have lots of resources here to help me.
They said already that they will walk me through what to expect and that they will serve him.

 

[brokenbonds]

@panictopeace Oh good! That’s great news!

 

[monk64]

@panictopeace From someone who left an abusive man: I know how hard it is. I know how exhausting it is. We see the effort it took to get out and we are so damn proud of you.

Limit contact to court-mediated stuff, nothing personal. Focus on your healing and put yourself first.

You’ve done what’s best for you and your daughter. I am so glad you’re safe. I’m rooting for you!

 

[panictopeace]

@monk64 Thank you.

No, you are definitely right.
Try and keep it about court stuff.

And yeah, it is hard.

Thank you again.

 

[kipperbomb]

@panictopeace You've got this. You are not overreacting. Try to remember or even write down the facts of what he's done to you, and how he made you feel. It will get harder, but not much, and then it will get better.

 

[panictopeace]

@kipperbomb Thank you so much.

There is lots and lots to document, and going forward, I'll be documenting everything that I can, or keeping records of everything.

 

[atiyah]

@panictopeace Hugs. You are okay. You will get through this. You are so strong. This is the right thing to do.

 

[panictopeace]

@atiyah Thank you very much.
I'm comfortable. I'm warm. My daughter is sleeping beside me.

I'm trying to focus on the good

 

[atiyah]

@panictopeace You’re doing amazing. My DMs are open if you ever need to talk. You’ve got this. Hugs.

 

[baruch7777777]

@panictopeace I’m so proud of you that I literally started crying. I don’t know you, but I am so so proud of you.

You’ve done the right thing and the best thing. And bandaids always hurt when you rip them off. Just keep going. Try to eat something again later and keep hydrated and watch something nice with your daughter.

Sending love and strength x

 

[panictopeace]

@baruch7777777 Thank you.
That's very true about band-aids ripping off.

It doesnt feel like the right thing right now, but I hope that I see it eventually.

 

[jabattler1976]

@panictopeace I'm gonna suggest a book to you that really opened my eyes about my own abuse situation: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

It takes into account all the things you're saying in his defense, like his troubled past.

 

[panictopeace]

@jabattler1976 Thank you.

I know I definitely need to read that book.
It comes highly recommended.
I tried reading it before, but it was a bit hard.
I'll have to try again.

 

[baylor_bear33]

@panictopeace You got this. If there is only one thing you can remember during your stress: this too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year will be different. This too shall pass.

 

[panictopeace]

@baylor_bear33 Time March's forward I suppose.
And yes, this will all eventually pass.

Thank you

 

[katrina2017]

@panictopeace I'm so proud of you for leaving.

It's going to take time, please please please hang in there. It took me a week or so for the constant panic to subside.

My God, the freedom. You're going to feel SO FREE. So much LIGHTER. It's so much easier when you don't have to worry about your abuser.

You'll never regret it and I'm just so proud of you.