@panictopeace In the beginning it is hard to leave your abuser. They have trained you to doubt yourself, and convince you that they cannot survive without you. They are not your responsibility, they are a grown adult who needs to figure out how to take care of themselves.
As you work through this, it will be hard. And there will be times you doubt yourself, bit you are strong, you will be happy again, you will get through this, and will eventually be better off. It may not seem that way, but in 5 yrs, you may even be able to look back at the bullshit you survived through, grew through, and protected your child from, and laugh at how dumb your ex really is, and how strong you have become. I know from experience.