I did it. I left him. I am not okay
- Thread starter panictopeace
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- in crisis 🚨 moms
@panictopeace You can do this! You are already doing it right now!!
You have not overreacted. Take the shelter’s advice and take a step back. You are not responsible for his feeling even though you feel like you should be. He is a grown ass man, he can calm himself down and figure out his own next steps. He may have tried to convince you that you are responsible for his emotions but this is a lie. If you cannot see it for what it is, that is OKAY, put it aside and pull it out later.
You are safe, your little is safe, and that is what matters most. You aren’t going to be able to DO anything right now so you need to find a way to exist through this. Watch a show, talk to us, maybe get lost in conspiracy theory YouTube videos about aliens
You will be okay. You will look back at this day and be so grateful, and it’s okay if today that sounds imaginary. We’ll believe in you until you can believe in yourself. ((Hugs))
You have not overreacted. Take the shelter’s advice and take a step back. You are not responsible for his feeling even though you feel like you should be. He is a grown ass man, he can calm himself down and figure out his own next steps. He may have tried to convince you that you are responsible for his emotions but this is a lie. If you cannot see it for what it is, that is OKAY, put it aside and pull it out later.
You are safe, your little is safe, and that is what matters most. You aren’t going to be able to DO anything right now so you need to find a way to exist through this. Watch a show, talk to us, maybe get lost in conspiracy theory YouTube videos about aliens
You will be okay. You will look back at this day and be so grateful, and it’s okay if today that sounds imaginary. We’ll believe in you until you can believe in yourself. ((Hugs))
panictopeace
New member
@blu_sky I did take a step back, and stopped interacting with him.
I know im not responsible for his emotions, but I feel EXTREMELY conditioned to look out for him, and to make sure he is happy, no matter what it might cost me.
I know that's not healthy, but that's where I am right now .
It's kinda good i can't leave right now. It forces me to relax. It's kinda nice being brought food, and not having to cook.
I plan on watching alot of Star Trek.
Thank you
I know im not responsible for his emotions, but I feel EXTREMELY conditioned to look out for him, and to make sure he is happy, no matter what it might cost me.
I know that's not healthy, but that's where I am right now .
It's kinda good i can't leave right now. It forces me to relax. It's kinda nice being brought food, and not having to cook.
I plan on watching alot of Star Trek.
Thank you
@panictopeace Do you want to talk about anything? Read any good books lately? Or would you like to? What’s your favorite hobby?
panictopeace
New member
@blu_sky Right now I've been in a huge phase of reading romance novels set in the 1800s. Lol!!
I actually don't have any hobbies anymore, which is part of the reason why I left.
I felt so hollow inside .
My dream hobby though would be sewing or quilting.
My much more realistic hobby though is reading mountains of books.
Since I'll have a bunch of time on My hands, I'm planning on trying to teach My daughter her letter and number recognition!!
I actually don't have any hobbies anymore, which is part of the reason why I left.
I felt so hollow inside .
My dream hobby though would be sewing or quilting.
My much more realistic hobby though is reading mountains of books.
Since I'll have a bunch of time on My hands, I'm planning on trying to teach My daughter her letter and number recognition!!
@panictopeace OP, let me know when you are settled enough with an address I can send you some quilting supplies. I used to run a sewing/quilting business. Keep my name, this comment. Even if it is five years down the road. I left my abuser, too, and I want you to know you can do this too. Hold on tight to your dreams.
Edit:typo
Edit:typo
panictopeace
New member
@panictopeace Hang in there. It’s going to be so hard at first. You have a dream and that’s what’s going to get you through. hugs
@panictopeace Giiiiiiirl, tell me you have read the Outlander series!!
I am so glad you’re making plans! There are a ton of things to rediscover and find passion in. I am a pretty big bookworm myself, I count that as my main hobby.
I love to knit, you could try that or crochet too. They take very little supplies and no more room than you have in your lap, so they can be a soothing activity for fidgety hands.
I am so glad you’re making plans! There are a ton of things to rediscover and find passion in. I am a pretty big bookworm myself, I count that as my main hobby.
I love to knit, you could try that or crochet too. They take very little supplies and no more room than you have in your lap, so they can be a soothing activity for fidgety hands.
panictopeace
New member
@blu_sky I have definitely read the first few novels!
Right now, I'm really loving my books a wee bit trashier.
I usually skip the steamy stuff, but I love the building of new relationships and the world building.
I poorly crochet!!
I'm hoping to get some yarn and a hook soon.
I'm dyslexic, have dyscalcica and poor dexterity, so im not great at it, but im hoping to learn some new sitches, or to try again, since I'm trying to be 100 percent sober.
Right now, I'm really loving my books a wee bit trashier.
I usually skip the steamy stuff, but I love the building of new relationships and the world building.
I poorly crochet!!
I'm hoping to get some yarn and a hook soon.
I'm dyslexic, have dyscalcica and poor dexterity, so im not great at it, but im hoping to learn some new sitches, or to try again, since I'm trying to be 100 percent sober.
@panictopeace Ooh have you read any James Oliver Curwood books? He was a bestselling romance author in the early 1900’s (I believe) and wrote romance novels set mainly in Alaska and the Yukon. They’re definitely not steamy since they were popular way back then (I seem to remember a line about admiring a woman’s “finely turned ankles” lmao). But they’re fun and adventurous. Plus they’re totally free on Kindle since the copyright has long expired. I recommend his short story collection “Back to God’s Country and other stories” as a good introduction.
@panictopeace Do you have Netflix? Maybe you need some Downton Abbey in your life as some escapism.
Well done for getting out. You've got this!
Well done for getting out. You've got this!
@panictopeace r/quilting is one of my happy places. I go there for a calming pick-me-up. So many pretty things and kind people.
panictopeace
New member
@panictopeace Excellent choice on Star Trek! I just watched one of my favorites: tng-season 7, gambit. Intrigue, double crosses, data being a boss, Picard being a badass. Good, good stuff.
panictopeace
New member
@panictopeace I haven’t seen that one for a while, might be time to queue it up! I love tng, when I am stressed or sad, I find it so comforting and optimistic.
@panictopeace Did someone say Star Trek?? 
I decided a few months ago to rewatch the whole damn thing (all the series & movies). Dude, I hit a WALL with Enterprise...The time traveling Xindi thing is a little weird, but do-able, but I just can't with the whole aliens are nazis storyline
So to put it off I started rewatching the Orville. Have you seen that yet?
I'm really proud of you for leaving. You're brave & strong - I know it doesn't feel like it, but you did the ultimate in putting your foot down. To quote Worf - He is without honor. I wish you all the best
I decided a few months ago to rewatch the whole damn thing (all the series & movies). Dude, I hit a WALL with Enterprise...The time traveling Xindi thing is a little weird, but do-able, but I just can't with the whole aliens are nazis storyline
So to put it off I started rewatching the Orville. Have you seen that yet?
I'm really proud of you for leaving. You're brave & strong - I know it doesn't feel like it, but you did the ultimate in putting your foot down. To quote Worf - He is without honor. I wish you all the best
afterthought
New member
@panictopeace Take care. I have been in a shelter three times. But, i had no kids at the time. You are goung through something very mentally exhausting. People don't understand it. You will need lots of sleep. Don't worry about his lame threats. Go for full custody. The judge will decide if u can split custody with him, don't be a team player, or try to cooperate. Divorce is straight out war, no one wins, etc.
panictopeace
New member
@afterthought I'm very, very lucky to have my own private room.
It's a very, very nice shelter.
And the beds are extremely comfortable. So that helps.
I feel very lucky and glad that there are places like this that exist.
I'm feeling a bit less upset about everything.
All of my friends and family have been very supportive.
His parents are upset with me right now, and that really sucks, but I can't be their son's keeper anymore.
It's a very, very nice shelter.
And the beds are extremely comfortable. So that helps.
I feel very lucky and glad that there are places like this that exist.
I'm feeling a bit less upset about everything.
All of my friends and family have been very supportive.
His parents are upset with me right now, and that really sucks, but I can't be their son's keeper anymore.