I’m about two weeks out from having a C-section to have my twins, and I think I’m a little too delusional

[metsfan5976]

@rrruff I don’t mean to rain on this parade but I was quite miserable at the end of my pregnancy as well - I had a short cervix, was constantly in pain, Braxton hicks absolutely crazy, insomnia as well, but it’s nothing compared to the first 3 months. I think it really depends on how much sleep matters to you. I need a lot of sleep and don’t do well with lack of sleep. The exhaustion is on another level after they were born. What really helped was having my MIL here to cook for us, keeping them on a schedule, and doing everything with my husband 50/50. Another thing that made postpartum really hard was the hormones. They fluctuate like crazy and I felt crazy. Wasn’t until 3 months that I started feeling more like myself. The first month I was always crying for no reason and my anxiety was through the roof.

I will say though it’s hard but you’ll learn to adapt, because you have to. And soon they will turn one, just like my babies, and you’ll wonder where the time has gone. You’ll do fine!

 

[rrruff]

@metsfan5976 Thank you! I need a little rain on my parade right now I keep telling my husband, “oh it won’t be that bad” and I know I’m just setting us up for failure thinking that way. I don’t need to sleep as much at night, but he works 12 hour shifts and needs his sleep. My mom will be here for about a month to help us and let us sleep some.

 

[metsfan5976]

@rrruff Your mom would be a great help! Basically for me it boiled down to when I was pregnant, whatever physical discomfort I was feeling I could always just plop myself into bed and rest, but once the babies are out of me I have to make sure I keep them alive, no time to simply plop into bed and watch Netflix! So please enjoy your last weeks of quiet time! It’ll be exhausting but so fulfilling watching them grow. Remember the positives when things get hard.

 

[krill]

@rrruff you can be emotionally prepared for it to be awful or you can be optimistic to the point of foolishness--it's not going to change the reality of your individual experience. hell, maybe your good attitude and delusion will be self fulfilling and you'll think it's a cake walk. do, however, keep a step stool by your bed. that was the hardest to navigate post c section for me, keep on top of your medicine, and remember that after about 5-7 days the worst will be over recovery wise. good luck and congratulations!

 

[rrruff]

@krill Thank you! I worked in childcare for a while, and a good attitude was key to have a good day..maybe that’ll translate to becoming parents too

 

[jembang]

@rrruff FTM here with 8 week old di/di b/g twins.

Assemble the army of everyone who has offered to help you. Aside from the recovery of a c-section, which is rough despite what some people might say. If you're lucky it will be a breeze for you, but more likely you'll have some discomfort and trouble moving around. Your husband will likely work three times as hard twice for the twins and once for what you are unable to do yet.

The worst, and I mean the absolute WORST part is the sleep, deprivation and exhaustion. Adrenaline will get you through the first 3 days before your body starts to crash in on itself. My parents watched my twins every night for the first 7 days while I recovered and it allowed my husband and I to really ease into the newborn phase. After that, they've been watching the kids overnight two times a week so we can get a full night's rest. This has helped us so much and honestly it's probably the reason why our marriage isn't in trouble.

I strongly recommend a night nanny or a night doula if you don't have this support. Even if they only help two to three times a week.

My biggest mistake was underestimating the recovery and the absolute shock of going from a family of two, My husband and I, to a family of four. It was very difficult for me to transition.

Whatever it's like for you. Just know that with time things get more manageable. People say easier and it feels easier because you're better at it. Give yourself some grace and be kind to yourself.

 

[rrruff]

@jembang Thank you! I’m having b/g twins too! My mom is planning on spending the first month or so with us, so that’ll be very helpful.

 

[jembang]

@rrruff This is great. Best of luck!

 

[gladysbrierley]

@rrruff For me? Hands down the burden of breast feeding or rather my failure to be able to execute it. It was a huge time suck for me and I found out recently that my now-19 month old has a lip tie and so at least for her it wasnt likely even my fault or failure! It just took up so much space in the early days where I could have been bonding with them and my new family, building a village, sleeping, showering, eating, all of it. Instead I punished myself with pumping and attempting to BF for two months. Am I happy I gave them some of my milk? of course! But mine were in NICU and I was under (went under general) so they got formula without me really being aware and then I just killed myaelf in the hospital giving them my colustrum. Anyway for me, the crappy hand I got dealt with breastfeeding was just...unwelcome stress. At 2 months I stopped pumping and gave up and we gave them a high quality organic low lactose european formula. The whole experience - the rude lactivists, unsupportive family, pressure etc was just negative for me and really time consuming and distracting from the joy of being a Mom of twins.

Anyway. If you are someone NOW that feels "I am breastfeeding no matter what" well...its really not easy at all. Like, hardest aspect about it IMO. Just all of it, physical and mental. OP, good luck navigating the feeding components ok? Whatever you decide is ok and hats off to you if you can feel happy whilst successfully breastfeeding your twins. I got a lot of respect for all who balanced that with all the other stuff that goes with having two infants at once its a lot

 

[rrruff]

@gladysbrierley I would love to breastfeed or pump, but I have some formula ready just in case something comes up and I can’t do it. I’ve been trying to prepare myself for that possibility.

 

[mechtild]

@rrruff Personally expecting it to be incredibly difficult made it easier for me so setting your expectations low might help lol! It is more manageable than I thought but I truly expected the newborn days to be the worst 3 months of my life with constant misery so every moment that's happy feels like a pleasant surprise

Also fyi weeks 1&2 kicked our asses, weeks 3-5ish were super easy and then 6-11 was peak fussing and truly sucked. And now I'm at 13 and I'm assuming the good and bad times will continue to come in waves like that... But the peak fussiness around week 6 seems common from what I've read. But yeah take shifts! And I'm excited your babies will be here soon!

 

[rrruff]

@mechtild Thank you! I’m aware it’ll be difficult, but I have my expectations set way too high I’m trying to bring them down some.

 

[mechtild]

@rrruff Reading people on this subreddit complaining helped scare me a lot...

 

[marieldysm]

@rrruff I’ve had two c sections.

Getting an epidural isn’t fun if the anesthesiologist has poor bedside manner. Otherwise it’s unremarkable. It was hit and miss for me. The epidural can make you feel shaky and cold during the operation. It’s hard to watch everyone doing everything while you lay there almost upside down waiting for everyone to show you the babies and wheel you into your room. The catheter in & out absolutely sucks. Some women have said their doctor has come in the day afterwards and pushed really hard on their incision, didn’t happen to me personally but watch out for that. It’s not necessary, very old school, so if you can avoid it tell them not to.

Besides the obvious pain afterwards, and being difficult to move around, your legs can swell really badly. Just elevate your legs and drink a lot of fluids. Naproxen was the best for the pain personally but they may give you stronger stuff. Use a pillow pressed against your abdomen to stand up. It seems like a miracle but you’ll be walking around right away. Showering was hard. Coughing and sneezing feel a bit dangerous. Pooing seems scary but not that bad. C section might make nursing harder but not impossible.

It’s imperative that you walk around, it seems counter intuitive but it really helps to not get an infection. If you can wear a compression wrap around your abdomen (some hospitals carry them and will give you if you ask) it helps the muscles heal. Don’t pick anything up that weighs more than one baby. Don’t stand on your feet and try to wash the dishes. Or bend down and load the laundry. Leave everything and just focus on yourself and the babies.

I think no matter what, birth hurts. Many women get just as many stitches in a vaginal birth than a c section. You will bleed a lot after and will need to wear a diaper, standard. A planned c section at least you don’t have to heal from dilating and everything too, but if you have di/di twins that’s 2 dinner plate sized placenta wounds, plus the uterus stitches, plus the muscles tissue, plus the skin, plus the uterus contracting… it’s a lot of healing and you really need to rest. In the long run the pain is not that memorable, thank goodness.

 

[rrruff]

@marieldysm I keep reminding myself that at the point of recovery, I’ll be feeling better and better each day as opposed to feeling worse and worse everyday at the end of this pregnancy I get super claustrophobic, and I’m so worried the spinal or epidural is going to make me panic some from not being able to move.

 

[marieldysm]

@rrruff During the surgery it’s overwhelming but hopefully your partner will be with you holding your hand and there will be so many people in the room you will be shocked and distracted… it’s actually an extremely fast process once they begin. The numbing is honestly not so bad and even relaxing before and after, especially since once it wears off you feel the pain. The incision stays numb for a long time. I can almost guarantee you will totally have your body back and be feeling 100% better by week 6 pp, like it never happened. Except, it did lol. I think you lose like almost 20lbs immediately too. Huge weight lifted, literally. And you get some beautiful gifts, curtesy of you! That make your house feel like a blissful palace! Seriously, nothing like tiny sleeping new born babies. It’s the best part.

 

[freedom4all54]

@rrruff I have triplets, born 27 + 4, but my two girls came home before their due date. It was kind of like bringing twins home and still having a baby in the NICU (hard!)
Bringing them home required a lot of support. We have all our family nearby so grandparents, aunts, uncles, everybody jumped in to help. The girls slept most of the time that they weren’t eating. They spit up a lot. Like… 3/4 of what they ate got spit up. So weight gain was hard but we pushed through it. We fed and slept the babies at the same times so that they matched schedules to make it easier. My husband and I are both working full-time, so they spent a lot of time with their grandmas.
We started sleep training at 6 months adjusted and LIFE CHANGING! Happy to share my experiences if you’re interested.

Bringing two home at once means you need to have a team approach. My husband and I are best friends and grew up together, so it was natural for us both to wake up 3x every night for feedings. We split up laundry and dishes. We just worked as a team. And we had all the family support. So maybe my experience is uncommon? But it’s so possible to make it work. You’ve got this, mama!

 

[rrruff]

@freedom4all54 I’d love sleep training advice if you have some to share! My plan is to get the on the same schedule as soon as I can. I’ll have some family help, but we decided to move to another state only about 4 months before I got pregnant so they all have to travel to us

 

[theo3]

@rrruff The biggest thing was the lack of core strength. But it wasn’t too much to overcome, particularly after a twin pregnancy. I found the c-section recovery significantly easier than the pregnancy.

Our twins are our only children and we had no help until my dad visited for a week at week 6. We didn’t find it overtly hard at the time, but looking back I’m not sure I’d want to do it all over again. I think we just got through it and worked together in those early weeks. It was almost mechanical and I didn’t really think about it, I just did it.

I particularly hated breast feeding, because my boys hard a terrible latch, so I would pump. I hated pumping and it would eat into so much of my night.

 

[rrruff]

@theo3 It sounds like breastfeeding/pumping is a hassle. I’m going to try to do that as well, but I’m fully prepared to give the babies formula if it ends up being too much.