Let me preface this with I (27 F). I have been a single mother for 3- almost 4 years. I got into a situationship about a week ago now... he (m30) is also a single parent. But I am concerned. He pays more attention to me and my "needs" than to his 2 girls. To me, that's a red flag. He also got into a fist fight when his family members ( who could tell I was uncomfortable) said something about it. Also, he seems almost incapable of giving me space. I told him that I had plans with my family at the lake for my bday and that I wouldn't be on or near my phone for 2-3 days. I came back to 17 text messages and 2 missed calls on my phone and 13 messages and 5 voice recordings on messanger... I have a child he hasn't met, and I am worried about letting them meet because this is all a bit much for me... but I've met his girls, and they are wonderful humans, and I'll be sad to walk away...
Edit: After not a very long convincing process of the very intelligent and rational humans who have commented on this, I am actively blocking him on everything. Will update with news of stalking or anything crazy. Wish me luck!!!
Update. Not even 24 hours. He got a new number to message me...
@fluxie About a week ago nowYou just started seeing each other and people already are calling it out? You already met his kids? It’s a bit fast, I’d be running far away.
@reshma I think depending on how long it has been since their relationship ended and if the friend is okay with it would determine if it’s weird or not. I wouldn’t do it, simply bc friend probably mentioned the red flags they were experiencing.
@lsususie 8 years. And i never knew him. I called her when i found out. She was okay, and she did tell me his red flags... 8 years ago. But like I said, I never knew him... so...
@thmohms92 Why are people stuck on this part of the situation. She didn't care and is still my friend, so why do you? And I never knew him or his name. I just knew her baby daddy was someone she didn't veiw kindly due to both of their personal problems(drugs were involved back then) they got over it and are cordial, but not together
@fluxie Because as a friend you don't do shit like that. Even if they said ok I just wouldn't. Also you knew the shit she went through with him and seemed surprised he's still the same pos. It's be different if you didn't have a forewarning but you did and decided to pursue anyway. That's why
@thewoman2014 if I worried about not dating my friends' exes/someone they slept with, I'd never be able to date in this town. Most of my friends were hoes... and I didn't meet most of their boytoys because it was over so quickly. Like I said, this town isn't small but it's not big either
@fluxie Run ! As a 40 year old woman who has been in your exact same situation before I urge you to drop this man like a hot potato and run for your life. This behaviour is not normal or acceptable and it indicates serious mental health issues. Get out now because things will only get worse. I guarantee it.
You just started seeing each other and people already are calling it out? You already met his kids? It’s a bit fast, I’d be running far away.
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if I worried about not dating my friends' exes/someone they slept with, I'd never be able to date in this town. Most of my friends were hoes... and I didn't meet most of their boytoys because it was over so quickly. Like I said, this town isn't small but it's not big either