I '18/F' need urgent help with birth control

@sisterkat Make sure you check for generic versions of Plan B. I see some for around $10-$20 online, but I am sure it varies from one place to another. If you don't have the money, would someone lend you it? Or could you ask for $20 for something else your parents wouldn't bat an eye at? If you go to school perhaps ask the health clinic / nurse for guidance?
 
@areyouthere i did not even know they had generic version of birth control for cheap i will most certainly look into this right now. i just contacted him to get money and only for money because i cut him off after this all happened. i will most likely get money to cover the plan b thank you so much for informing me for cheap alternatives
 
@sisterkat Like all comments above, get plan b and just never speak to that man again if he ever walks into your life. Birth control will not protect you now but if you plan to be sexually active it is a choice. I have suffers from mental health and the pill doesn’t really cause more side effects if you pick the right brand.
 
@kriibvemao thank got so much for your response i have cut ties with him but have messaged him to get money for a plan b. one of my biggest concerns with taking plan b was that it would affect my mental health because its not the greatest. i will most definitely be looking more into the brand of birth control i am taking but you have put me at ease on the pill not affecting your mental health thank you
 
@sisterkat No problem, it took me awhile to find the right pill. which country are you from ? I could recommend some brands I think are decent for me and you can do your own research. Sometimes you do feel some side effects but they go away after your body adjusted to the pill. lifestyle change like spending time outdoor or with your friends/family can help too. I get anxious easily but I do journaling to get it out of my head.
 
@kriibvemao thank you for your help i am in canada and in the province ontario. i also get anxious and overwhelmed easily but i journal as well and it does ease me a lot once i start taking the pill full time after i get this plan b i will be looking into more hobbies and such to keep me a little more distracted from intense emotions and hopefully will develop balancing out intense emotions
 
@sisterkat Honestly, a man that age with different baby mama's, and one who refused to help you get plan B after (possibly) being aware that the condom broke ? Red. Flag. It sounds like he's trying to trap you with a baby, I'd be really curious how old his other baby mama's were. But regardless of that, medically speaking, if you just finished your period then you are at a point in your cycle where conception is less likely (compared to if you were on the ovulation part of your cycle for example). BUT. Less likely doesn't mean impossible so it's always best to cover your bases, especially if you live somewhere with backwards reproductive health care. See if there are any reproductive care centers near you, like planned parenthood, they might be able to help you get plan b. They would also be able to help answer any questions you have with the pill or any other form of birth control. The pill takes AT LEAST 7 consecutive days of use to be considered 'active', and must be taken properly to be effective. If you don't think you're the kind of person who can remember to take a pill every day, around the same time, even with phone reminders, then I would really suggest looking into a different form of birth control. I used to be on the pill but it really affected my weight and my mood so now I use the Nuvaring. All forms of bc can cause side effects, so its really about figuring out what works best for you. Don't be afraid to try different types out, and get your education for reputable sources if you're going to look online. Planned parenthood websites, health ministry/government websites etc. I'm sure there are even groups on here that can be informative, you just have to be more critical of what you're consuming because anyone can comment anything. I hope everything works out for you, and if you haven't yet, dump that loser.
 
@sisterkat Unfortunately birth control effects everyone differently. What might work for one person could be a horrible option for another but you will not know until you start and it better to protect yourself. My legitimate recommendation is to start taking the birth control and monitor common side effects such as bleeding/spotting, weight gain and mood among others. If you are suffering from them to an extreme effect talk to your OGBYN about switching to a different pill or method such as IUD or Implant.

As for your partner, I think you should really consider cutting this man off. I think it's best to not mess with a guy who doesn't respect your or other women for that matter. I'm not judging you for whatever lead him to you but I am worried as a woman who was almost groomed by an older man for your safety.
 
@smileyfacefrowns you are totally right! birth control does effect others differently. once i started i will certainly keep track of side effects like the ones you’ve listed. after the interaction i’ve had with him i have since cut him off he clearly doesn’t value me at all and he would be wrong to pursue a relationship with him if we are already off to a bad start like this. thank you so much for your response i greatly appreciate it and am extremely thankful
 
@sisterkat Hi OP! Looks like you have gotten some helpful feedback on what to do now (Plan B, for sure). I just want to add a few thoughts for you!
  1. It’s clear to me that you are smart & making a good choice for yourself to cut him out of your life. The age gap is problematic, and he doesn’t treat you respectfully, and you’ve recognized that. I encourage you to take the short term steps needed to protect your physical health, and be proud of yourself for recognizing he isn’t good for you. You are 18, and you’ve already learned a lesson about relationships and respect that takes some people far longer. Please don’t blame yourself, feel continued guilt, replay the situation in your head, etc… if this situation impacts your mental health negatively, please seek professional support. I’ve been in a similar situation and finally saw the situation for what it was: he was a jerk, and it wasn’t my fault. That was liberating, and years later, after doing a bunch of living for ME, I met an awesome, respectful man who is now my husband!
  2. If you are worried about birth control impacting your mental health, you can talk with your provider about different types! This is a nice overview from Kaiser to learn about BC: https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org/health-wellness/birth-control
    Some birth controls contain hormones (varying amounts) and some don’t. I have the Kyleena IUD and while the procedure to get it is uncomfortable, it has been fine for my mental health and I don’t have any side effects. Every body is different, so different options are better for different people. It is definitely worth a conversation with your doctor if your pills do impact you negatively.
  3. You mentioned your household doesn’t talk about sex. Mine was the same growing up and I didn’t have Reddit back then to ask questions, but don’t be afraid of asking the ‘TMI’ questions if you need answers on what’s what/what’s normal or not normal etc. The best thing we can all do is support each other :)
Sending my best to you re: this situation & stay strong! 💪
 
@sisterkat
i am scared of side effects long term because i do suffer from mental health issues and would not wish for them to be worse.
Click to expand...

If you are worried about the side effects, you could look into getting the non hormonal IUD.

If you have it inserted within 120 hours of unprotected sex, it also works as emergency contraception.
 
@manyarecalled i’ve got an offer for plan b so far but after i get my hands on it i will test out my birth control for a bit and see if it affects me more mentally. i suffer from adhd,depression and severe anxiety which is common but i know birth control can worsen it. i’ve heard a lot of horror stories about iud’s as well as my mom having one and having horrible side effects to it and just the whole process being very painful and traumatic
 
@vitalik360 i will be 100% be booking a consultation at planned parenthood for further more information on the birth control i was given because my doctor who is a male was extremely negligent on how i should go about taking my birth control. i’ve had someone offer to get me plan b which im extremely thankful for. counselling/therapy services here in canada is very expensive ive gotten some information on a place that does free 3 walk in services for therapy so i will be getting that under wraps. thank you so much for your response! i also have cut this man off its better i leave now before the situation gets worse
 
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