Help.. I’m worried if she is lying about pregnancy

T

tcloud16

New member
Bit of context;
  1. She is on Depo shot (3rd depo shot received 14 weeks from the last shot) when we were having sex.
  2. We had sex on July 15th without condom, but I pulled out.
  3. She was saying it is okay to finish inside her, but I felt a but weird so I pulled out.
  4. Right after, she ran into bathroom, didn’t come out for 30 minutes (thought she was taking shower). And only after that, she said she is worried about pregnancy since she seems to be ovulating around this time.
  5. We agreed to take Plan B, so she took Plan B within 24h after sex.
  6. She was so worried about pregnancy so we took ovulation test (OPK) which turned out to be negative.
  7. She went back to her home, and she said she visited doctor on July 18th (3 days after sex), saying that doctor confirmed her ovulation using progesterone blood test. She also said that doctor confirmed plan B failed. I started to feel suspicious from this point.
    (I didn’t see any result)
  8. And today, July 22nd (7 days after sex) she said her hCG level is rising and she might be pregnant. She says she will get blood tested again on Tuesday (10 days after sex).
To be honest, this kind of violates most of the knowledge that I have.

First, what is the probability of Depo shot, Plan B and pulling out all fail?

And I heard there is no way doctor can confirm your ovulation using progesterone test.

Also, this is not even 9 days after sex and how can she confirm rise of hCG level?

I suggested her emergency IUD few days ago and she refused, and then she kept insinuating that she might be pregnant. I didn’t even see the test result of anything at all. And she refuses to text me and only call me about this issue.

Based on probability and how she behaves, I’m starting to feel very suspicious about her.. is there any advice I can get?
 
@tcloud16 If she was ovulating, Plan B wouldn’t work. That being said, if she is on the shot AND you pulled out, I’d say it’s impossible to be pregnant. I don’t believe pregnancy can be detected that early, but I could be wrong. I think usually a positive can be confirmed after 14 days and a negative at 21 days post sex (where hCG levels rise enough or don’t rise to show up as an indicator of pregnancy). I’m not a doctor so I could be wrong but I do agree this seems suspicious, especially since she refuses/hasn’t showed you any test (apart from the one that contradicts everything she is saying)
 
@prodigaldisciple Yeah all the information she is giving me are not lining up. If she was ovulating on the day of sex, plan B would fail and I get it. But she said doctor confirmed she is ovulating now 2 days after plan B (3 days after sex) take, and doctor confirmed plan B failed..

So plan B failed even before ovulation according her? And Depo shot also failed? And progesterone test cannot confirm ovulation.. It’s just so unlikely to happen.

I think blood hCG test can be done a bit earlier than 2 weeks (as early as 10 days) but still 7 days is too short to confirm her hCG is rising.

Everything + how she is behaving is just so suspicious.
 
@tcloud16 As you seem to be informed, Plan B delays ovulation. While ovulation tests are not perfect, it said she was not ovulating, which means Plan B should have pushed back ovulation. Also keep in mind that you didn’t even finish in her. Precum can cause pregnancy when sperm is present but not all precum has sperm. So everything combined with pull out does make me rather suspicious because even if she wasn’t on the shot, pull out and Plan B should’ve been plenty.

Even if she was lying about the Depo shot (absolutely not saying she is, and do not recommend ever implying this) the other information just doesn’t add up to pregnancy. The only thing I could think of is that she is extremely paranoid and it’s driving her to convince herself she is pregnant. But either way, I’m not entirely convinced she is being truthful. I’d definitely ask for confirmation by seeing the tests yourself before believing her if she says she is pregnant
 
@prodigaldisciple I think she really is on depo shot since I heard about her past depo shot records and most recent one over her call with doctor.

Since it’s very likely that she is on Depo and toon Plan B (and I pulled out), I don’t know why she is keep hinting me that she is heading towards pregnancy.
 
@tcloud16 She cannot detect pregnancy if it’s under 14 days after having sex.. it’s IMPOSSIBLE to my knowledge.. and even less with a over counter pregnancy test. It’s all lies unless this was over 14 days ago and she actually took the test 14+ days after sex and if it’s positive then.. THEN there is a possibility that she’s pregnant other then that…the pregnancy test is a lie.. I’m sorry to break it to you. I would recommend you to confront her.. in a healthy and non accusingly way.. bc this could make her get defensive very easily.

For example you could tell her: “hey ‘gf’ I was thinking about this and I realized that the things you were telling me aren’t fully adding up, now I’m not fully accusing you of lying to me, I trust and love you but I’m sorry.. this isn’t really making sense to me since the pregnancy test cannot be positive if it’s just been a couple of days and less then 2+weeks. I’ve also made some research and a doctor can’t confirm ovulation by progesterone test.. i would like to know your thoughts on this and I want you to be 100% honest and transparent with me on what is going on.. and if it’s possible.. just to be sure, can you do a pregnancy test here in about 1-2 weeks to confirm the pregnancy please because (again) a pregnancy test can’t be positive if it’s been less then 2 weeks.. something might’ve been wrong with the test but yea etc etc”

It’s important to not get mad and accuse her of anything.. or if you do say it in a good way.. sit her down.. get some snacks maybe, show her that you love her and don’t want to hurt her.. but that you would like to talk about this.

But also.. if she was already pregnant before all this happened then I would recommend you talk to her about all this and make sure that she is telling you 100% of the truth.. but how can she be pregnant if she was on that shot?? Idk but just to be sure.. note the date that you two last had sex and if she is pregnant note the dates on when she will be having the baby which will be in 9 months.. the doctor can tell you about the almost exact date y’all should’ve had sex and if it’s around the same time yk it’s yours but if it’s weeks and weeks apart when y’all didn’t have sex it’s not you’re probably and I would recommend you do a paternity test
 
@lordwin When a dr starts a pregnancy confirmation a woman is considered 2 weeks pregnant before the egg ever released.

By now 10 days after that, she would be due her period within 3/4 days. At 14 days after sex she would be 4weeks pregnant.

Was the only way to do it years ago before ultrasounds, so dates could be well off. Today they can tell them both within a 48 hour range of when she released the egg and it fertilized since we know it dies after 24 hours.

Its sounding more than she planned to conceive off this ovulation to me, had she already been pregnant every ovulation test she took would be absolutely positive. (when they were new and could be brought in bags of 1000 for under $20 women would use them to preempt buying an actual pregnancy test for this reason. Back in 2004 through 2007 when i was involved in online groups about getting pregnant.)

He says she took one and it was negative, and took plan B the next day.. if the egg and sperm had already fertilized and were travelling and dividing every day for 5 days ready to implant in to her uterus, then plan B would merely have given her pregnancy hormones from her ovaries a bit of a boost.
 
@tcloud16 dude... there's like a 99% chance that she was already pregnant, knew it, and was looking to pin it on you. either that, or she's just lying about everything. if she ends up being verifiably pregnant, get a paternity test as soon as possible because you're not the baby daddy here. and obviously don't sleep with her again, this is unhinged. did you ask to see her numerous test results? if you asked and she refused, that just seals the deal here really.
 
@juliusgulius Of course I already told her we are not seeing each other anymore after all this. Definitely gonna ask for paternity test if she tests positive.

At this moment, only test result I know is OPK ovulation test she took while I was with her, which was negative 3 times in a row.

All the other test results, I haven’t even seen it.
 
@juliusgulius She went back to home, so I wasn’t there when she took the test. In fact, she didn’t even told me she’s gonna take the test. So it seems the test result is not with her right now. + she took the test today few hours ago and she didn’t reply back yet.
 
@tcloud16 Just so you know, ovulation kits usually show up wildly positive if pregnancy occurs.

I did IVF,learnt a lot, and a ex midwife RN in UK...

if your sperm remained in her body for the next 5 days it could have met the egg at any point. It then takens 5 days to implant and begin production of HCG, so in therory a positive HCG is possible at 5 or 6 days after you had sex... if she'd already ovulated the day or so earlier, the egg remains okay for about 24 hrs.

The plan B cannot prevent ovulation if it already happened, so could be said to have failed if her progesterone level had risen. It begins to rise at the point the egg is ready to release, they cancel IVF cycles if it goes up before the eggs were ready, so it only needs to raise a little.

If her MD checked and got both a positive hcg and a 30+ progesterone it would confirm she was pregnant, all within 5 days of your sex, and perhaps 6 days after ovulation.

During my surprise pregnancy I had an effect from HCG at day 6 after we'd had sex, my then 11m old began waking at night because my milk supply dropped. That made me test even before my period was due, for me typically 12 days after ovulating.

I doubt she would have got a neg ovulation test if she was already pregnant by someone else, some women checked ovulation tests before pregnancy tests back when they were still quite new and pre digitial, about 17 yrs ago.

The only way she'd have had a negative result was if she had just ovulated, like in the 24 hours before. An ovulation test tests us an egg will release within 48 hours, she likely had a positive the day or so before. Spend extra time in bathroom with butt up to help any pre cum sperm make their way through to the egg she knew was there.

Not failing everything, if her mini pill shot was near to end women can begin to ovulate. Pulling out is a distrastrous method of preventing pregnancy, the early liquids contain sperm... and it doesn't take many to get to any egg.

Our first child took two cycles of IVF, Drs scared they wouldn't have enough sperm because my partners count was reduced so much by his epilepsy medication. He couldn't change the medication, so I doubt his count improved much... I got pregnant the second cycle where the post egg release stage was long enough to allow pregnancy, breastfeeding messes that up for me. So one month 8 days, next 10 days, and following one i was pregnant. I was also 39 yrs old, and still nursing my daughter round the clock and 4 yrs of trying to get pregnant the first time failed every time... I knew i was ovulating but still never really expected pregnancy given our history, was way more careful after our second child arrived! No chances ever taken again!
 
Thank you for the input!

We used OPK to test ovulation, which showed negative. I know ovulation test rather test for LH surge so it’s not exact measurement of ovulation. I just don’t know how doctors confirmed her ongoing ovulation and failure of plan B (which should have worked since according to the doctor, she is ovulating after plan B take).

I’m already telling het I’m not seeing her again since there is no trust. Just want this situation to be handled asap.

Didn’t know I was gonna have this much stress from triple-protected sex.
 
@tcloud16 Oh lord, what a situation. Bless you.

Well first off, if she’s on the Depo & taking her shots on time & especially on her 3rd shot, the chances of being pregnant is VERY slim, reasons why….by the 3rd /4th Depo shot women tend to stop with ovulation ( no periods ) as there’s no lining building. Plus the Depo is very effective! Pregnancy can occur with women that use Depo but that’s usually if they missed a shot or not taken it on time!

Secondly If she’s on the Depo then there’s no need to take Plan B! At all! You don’t need two birth controls UNLESS one fails but the Depo shot is very effective as it’s already in your system. Especially by the 3rd shot!

Also what doesn’t make sense to me is that she said to you that it was ok for you to finish inside of her yet even when you don’t she panics she might be pregnant??? 🤔 sounds like she either doesn’t trust her birth control, or she knows something you don’t, either way there seems to be a lot of lack of honesty & communication from her part. Which is not good.

As for the results with the Doctor, that doesn’t seem right either. 3 days after she visits the Doctor & they say that…that’s far too early to get any signs or indications of pregnancy or levels going up. It takes at least 10 or more days after sex to get any signs or for an accurate pregnancy test. So that’s fishy there.

My advice is be alert & try to keep communication open, also log everything too, plus things she says about it. If she is pregnant get a parenting test immediately as my gut says something is not right here. Hope any of this helps. Xx
 
@katrina2017 Thank you for the insight.

She got her 3rd Depo shot 14 week after her 2nd shot, which I heard from some people is little late, and some people saying 14 week is still protected.

We had sex 5 days after her 3rd shot, which I believe gives a bit of buffer time for Depo to work.

And yeah I learned Depo has more than one mechanism to prevent pregnancy other than stopping ovulation, so I don’t understand why she is keep hinting me that she is likely to be pregnant.

For doctor’s visit, she said she got ovulation progesterone blood test 3 days after sex, and now she is saying she got hCG test 7 days after sex.

I heard progesterone test is meaningless since she took Depo shot and Plan B (both of them are progestin), and hCG level doesn’t rise until at least 10 days after sex, so It’s extremely strange for me why she is acting as if she is threatening me about pregnancy. She refused to text, she only insists talking on the phone about this issue which adds more suspicion. I’m trying to gather all the logs and text I have.
 
@tcloud16 If she got her 3rd shot 14 weeks after then the likelihood is still very slim of pregnancy as you can be protected up to ( 15 weeks ) between shots. Even if you had sex on the 5th day after she got her 3rd shot, she should be protected straight away as it was already in her system.

Doctors only recommend waiting at least 7 days with the Depo if you having if for the very first as it takes time to get into your system. But once it’s in & you’re consistent with shots aka not any time over than 15 weeks, then their chances of her being pregnant is practically impossible. Especially as if she is on the Depo, ovulation usually stops from the 3rd - 4th shot as there’s no lining. So if she’s ovulating, something is not right there.

Also one thing which doesn’t make sense to me, if she’s already on the Depo & not missed a shot, then why did she panic so much & get Plan B??? 🤔 That in itself makes no sense. You said she got Plan B because she was worried about pregnancy but either way if SHE’S ON THE DEPO then she has NO reason to panic. Simply as!! 🤷‍♀️ which makes me question if she actually was taking her shots / on time.
Also, PLAN B can fail but even so, if she’s on the shot she won’t get pregnant.

If she is ovulating, then she’s either not been taking her shots like she says she has. As that doesn’t happen when on Depo, that’s the whole point of the shot, to stop ovulation = pregnancy!

My advice, is record the calls you have with her as well, as one of the reasons why she may only be doing calls / talk only & not texting is so she can lie about things later if that makes sense.

To me there’s 3 outcomes here:
1. She’s lying & causing drama
  1. She’s already pregnant but again if she’s on the 3rd shot of Depo, that is not possible. So she’s either stopped the Depo & is continuing to say she’s on the Depo just so she can get pregnant without telling you. Some women do this unfortunately & it’s horrible. Which is why she said you can finish inside her. As she With that & her reaction she may be feeling guilt which is why the panic afterwards.
  2. Wait it out as there’s not really much you can unfortunately do in the meantime apart gather as much information as you can, as by 10+ days if she takes a pregnancy test, if she is pregnant then she definitely was not taking her shots or taking them properly!! ( Little tip!!, be with her when she does the pregnancy test! as loads of women can fake tests! Some women do this to trap men when they aren’t actually pregnant ) As she may be making all this up. By that point you’ll get the most accurate results.
Just be safe & take care of yourself.
Feel free to vent & ask any questions you have as well, as can only imagine how stressful this may be for you. God bless.
 
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