FTM Weight Gain Questions

[nicole89]

FTM Weight Gain Questions as Plus Size Pregnant Woman

I’m FTM first pregnancy, quick back ground I gained a lot of weight during Covid as it was my last year of college and my grandfather died in 2020 and I stopped taking care of myself, I went from 180 pounds to 261 pounds at my peak in about a year and a half. In January 2023 I started to lose weight and by October 2023 I was down to 207 pounds, thinking that I had time plenty of time to lose the last 20 pounds before I got pregnant, I got off birth control in October 2023, which was stupid because I got pregnant in November 2023.

My gyno is very strict about weight, my BMI is over 30 right now, my issue is that it’s stressing me out. My gyno told me at my first prenatal appointment that I can continue to lose weight while pregnant as I was 205 pounds at my first visit. Personally, I would prefer to maintain my weight or gain 10 pounds during my pregnancy instead of having to worry about weight loss.

I’ve been strict on my calories, eating at mateinence or below since finding out, my problem is I’ve been weighing myself in the mornings the past 2 weeks and my weight has gone up and I’m so scared of my next prenatal appointment this upcoming Wednesday. I’m 16 weeks now and I’m now 207.8 pounds which means I gained 2.8 pounds since my last visit and I know she’s going to be upset. I genuinely don’t understand how I could gain that much weight since I’ve been strict with my calories and prioritizing protein (60-100 grams a day). Feeling defeated, any advice would be helpful.

Not sure if I need to mention this or not but my blood work is normal and blood pressure has been perfect. Wondering how other plus size women deal with the stress of weight gain? Do you feel stress from weight gain?

 

[stephen583]

@nicole89 I started my pregnancy around 260ish. At my first prenatal appointment, my midwife told me that she doesn’t discuss weight with her patients. As long as bloodwork looks ok and baby is growing as expected, that’s all she cares about. It was a MASSIVE relief.

Throughout my pregnancy (I’m 19 weeks now) I’ve eaten while hungry (which seems to be all the time) and just sort of follow my cravings. My diet has actually been healthier than it was pre-pregnancy, partially because I can’t seem to tolerate sweets. I lost about 5 lbs the beginning of the first trimester and have gained it back since but have mostly stayed around there for the last 4 weeks or so. Baby is doing well, my bloodwork still looks good.

For me personally, if my doctor was telling me to lose weight during pregnancy, even if my bloodwork and everything else looked ok, I would find another doctor. However I also have a history of disordered eating, and I know how quickly I can spiral into that behavior again. My priority is making sure my baby is getting the nutrients they need and that I’m fueling my body to continue growing a human. Weight gain may or may not be part of that.

My advice to you would be to focus on eating nutritious foods and moving your body in a way that works for you, regardless of the impact on your weight. If your gyno brings up weight and your bloodwork still looks ok, tell them your focus is on getting enough nutrients, fueling your body, and that if your diet needs to be adjusted based on your lab work, then you can have that discussion.

 

[tyler82]

@nicole89 Literally everything says that you should not try to lose weight during pregnancy. It’s okay if it happens accidentally during the first trimester but you AND the baby need energy. And you don’t need the stress. I would highly recommend booking for a different provider if they are so fixated on weight.

It’s normal to gain a few lbs the first trimester since you’re making a placenta, breasts are likely getting larger and your body is producing more blood. It’s also normal for weight to stay the same or to even go down due to healthier diet or morning sickness. But it will be impossible not to gain weight as your pregnancy progresses.

 

[iamthankful]

@tyler82 I agree with looking for a different OB. I’m the same weight as you OP and I gained about 25 lbs during my first pregnancy and my OB never even mentioned it other than to say I was doing fine. I lost 15lb before leaving the hospital with my daughter. Weight gain is normal during pregnancy and they shouldn’t be stressing you out.

 

[divinespork]

@nicole89 I have some anxieties about weight gain because I was also heavier than I wanted to be when I got pregnant. I’ve gained nine pounds so far at 25 weeks, but every Saturday when I weigh myself I’m so nervous that I’ve gained like 5 pounds or something, which has yet to happen.

Im much heavier than you and my OB is completely unconcerned about it (my husband helped me research OBs before we picked her). I would really consider talking to your OB about it or switching OBs. Everything I’ve read says that studies show that gaining 11-20 pounds even for very high BMIs has better outcomes than losing weight. I would worry if my OB wasn’t following that guidance.

 

[levind]

@nicole89 You should look for a new OB. She’s not even following proper guidelines! I’m 5’2” and I was 255 pre pregnancy. So far, at 32w I’ve gained 14 lbs. has yet to be mentioned. My OB actually always said the weight gain is good. Literally first words are always “BP is great, weight gain is great….” - dieting and restricting calories while pregnant is extremely detrimental for the baby.

 

[phunnyfilosophy]

@nicole89 A lot of more recent studies suggest that often excessive weight gain is a symptom and not the cause of issues. As long as with any weight gain you are being monitored for any issues (gestational diabetes as an example) small weight gain (10-20) lbs shouldn’t be an issue.

 

[dieselb0y]

@nicole89 Your OB sucks. How horrible to put additional pressure on you like that. My Doctor&Midwife Team only weighed me at the 1st visit and never again. I have bloods, blood pressure and urine tested every 2-3 weeks as standadd and even did the glucose test and all is fine. Literally the FIRST thing they told me was NO DIETS!! No trying to lose weight or count calories at all!! Give baby what they need and DO NOT ignore your body cravings. If youve been excercising continue but absolutely NOOOO WEIGHT LOSS!! Then again the healthcare system here (Ireland) is super cautious and discussing peoples weight isnt PC unless life threatening. P.S I started at 210lbs and Im around 265 now at 35 weeks and still no comments from my team.

 

[ronyrex]

@nicole89 i said this on another post here but you DO NOT have to weigh in at the OB. you can tell them that you are declining to get on the scale and are monitoring your weight at home.

that being said. i agree with everyone saying look for another OB. this one is not going to be good for you or baby. the added stress is not going to help you in the long run.

 

[robert111]

@nicole89 I was 260 lbs when becoming pregnant and my OB advised not to try to lose weight. I am 249 now bc I have to follow gestational diabetes diet but it was not Intentional

 

[antonf7]

@nicole89 I'm almost 300 pounds, and the only worry my OB has said regarding my weight are my chances of having gestational diabetes. She isn't too worried about the weight aspect, just my blood work and blood pressure, which has been perfectly okay.

 

[ayanda]

@nicole89 I didn’t read the post after “my doctor said I can lose weight” full stop no: you should not be actively trying to lose weight while pregnant. If you can I’d try to find another doctor who will give you support

 

[ayanda]

adding this: pre pregnancy I was around 340, in around 360 now at 34 weeks. My diet hasn’t changed. I’m probably being more “cautious” because I have GDM but the weight I’m gaining is definitely because of the baby. I was stable until about 27 weeks, but once baby started hitting her growth spurt the weight came with it. She’s about 5 lbs herself right now! Not counting fluid, placenta, increased blood in my body, breasts getting larger getting ready for milk production etc. all my doctor said to me about my weight was to make sure I’m eating nutritious foods and if we notice an extreme loss or gain to address it.
It’s so funny because my mom who was a thin woman, gained 80-90 lbs with me. No one ever said anything because “oh well she needs it! She’s growing a baby!” But a plus size woman gains a reasonable amount it’s a huge issue.

 

[wulfscar]

@nicole89 Hi momma! I had my daughter last January I weighed 274. I did have hellp but my baby was born healthy. I'm pregnant again my weight is 284 it's the biggest I've ever been. Try not to stress it's not good for you or baby, I recommend you doing what you feel like you can do. I try to push myself but I'm just not strong enough and I don't have any support. I'm wishing you the best