@obedientsacrifice You absolutely are not overreacting. Drawing attention to anyone’s body is incredibly inappropriate imo. Especially if negative or sexualized. I’m dealing with something similar but from my in-laws.
My MIL and SIL are anorexic. My MIL has struggled with anorexia the vast majority of her life and sadly, in turn, her daughter also developed it. They both project their insecurities like no other.
I’m on the curvier side. My 4 month old daughter is in the 95th percentile for height and weight. She’s got rolls for days! I love them. They’re charming and cute.
Once my daughter had developed her rolls my MIL started talking to me about her other granddaughters weight. Particularly a 3 year old and a 6 year old. Both who have a healthy relationship with food and will eat anything under the sun. These two, compared to their very naturally tall, lanky cousins are now considered “chubby” by the family. MIL has commented to me about 3 year olds eating habits and about how she’ll just “eat and eat and eat” and then about 6 year olds stature. Particularly her butt.
Then recently she asked me what I would do if my daughter’s body grew to look like theirs. Or if she got chubby. I then replied that it’s good those girls are eating well. They’re growing! And I’ll be happy with how ever my daughter looks as long as she’s happy and she’s healthy.
These kids aren’t eating a ton of processed foods mind you. They eat home cooked meals that are relatively nutritious.
Anyway, I say all of this because these kinds of people are people who think about THEIR bodies constantly. Someone who feels the need to point out a physical feature on someone else without prompted to do so are projecting. Maybe your mom and sister wanted the body you have. Maybe they’ve gotten the message that being “sexy” makes them worthy. So they must point out those attributes on others. It’s clearly a horrible behavior and habit to have around children. And incredibly in appropriate to sexualize a baby. If possible, try and stop it immediately.
I plan on trying to be as body positive with my daughter as possible. Because I do personally struggle with body image issues and I really don’t want her to feel the pain I do. Unfortunately we cannot hide them from the world of objectification and beauty standards.
So in addition to addressing your concerns with your family, maybe practice talking to your daughter about all of the things her body can DO not how the look. “Wow look at you lifting up that toy, you’re strong!” Things in that vein. Your daughter is rapidly entering toddlerhood and the things her body will be able to do will excite her. “That bird is far away! And you spotted it from right here. What impressive eyes you have!”
It sounds silly but the hope is to help people appreciate their bodies for all that they are capable of doing!
Edited to add some things.