@beverend Don’t bring it up! Don’t make a big announcement. It’s not their baby, their house, their money, their time. Don’t give them the power to be apart of this decision.
Brush off/ be vague if they talk about diapers. Let them buy you a box. I told people just to buy me a small box of newborns or size 1. (It was nice to have them the first few weeks before baby could fit into pocket diapers).
@beverend It was never an announcement. I didn't ask for any cloth diapering things at my shower because I wanted to be picky and I wanted to buy all second hand. I do use disposable on occasion and over night. I think once most people see modern pockets they realize they had the wrong idea.
But again, I never really said much and I was sure to always say I wanted to "try" cloth (just like I wanted to try breastfeeding or try going without an epidural) because the last thing you need is an "I told you so". I left most of my plans vague enough to be private but open enough that people with genuine helpfulness could chime in (like my coworker that gave me all her old charlie bananas and thirsties once she heard me mention cloth).
@beverend Their opinion doesn’t matter. If they are interested, show them. If they aren’t, don’t. They don’t have to like your choice but they do need to respect that it’s not their choice to make.
You do not have to defend your parenting choices. Whether it’s cloth, or sleep training, or nutrition. Your family’s approval is not required. Remind them that If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
But don’t put yourself in the position to have to defend yourself. Once that door is opened, you are telling them that questioning your every choice as a parent is acceptable and it is you that needs to answer to them when it comes to caring for your baby.
@beverend I didn't really have a battle but definitely got a lot of eye rolls and snarky comments along the lines of "good luck with that shit" and "we'll see how long that lasts". We're going strong at 6 months old (full time since 9 weeks, part time before) and no one says anything anymore because it's working out just fine for us.
I think when older people hear cloth diapering they think of the old school giant flat diapers with the huge diaper pin. Once our parents saw our diapers (we use pockets) I think that image went away fast. I actually even get compliments on them often and have managed to convert a few friends along the way.
At the end of the day, there's no point in a battle. It's your child. You get to decide what's best.
@beverend I haven't had a negative reaction at all, but teaching my sister to change my son's nappy has been a bit of an ordeal. She understands the principle, but achieving a really good fit seems beyond her no matter how many times I show her
@beverend Who cares? It’s your child. My dad gave us some shit at first, and even asked if he could use disposables while babysitting her (which isn’t that frequent.) I just ignored him and told him to do whatever he wants when he babysits, because it’s not worth fighting over. However my mom, who’s actually the one who does the childcare when they babysit, just continued to use our cloth diapers. He was just being difficult.
I am firmly of the belief that your child, your decisions and your parents & family can have their opinions but that’s all it is, opinions.
@equinelover Same. It helped that half my inlaws are hippies so they didn't think cloth was weird, but the other half wouldn't ever be changing my kid so what did their opinions matter?
@beverend I think you just kinda have to stand your ground. The other thing is I'm sure a lot of older generations have an image of cloth in their heads that's not like what it is (well, you can still do it that way.) From what I understand it is much easier today than it was then. A lot of diapers are like disposable in ease of use. And other people aren't the ones doing laundry! That's the most time consuming part.
I would suggest getting a doll or stuffed animal and showing them how you plan to do it. If you're doing pockets, show them that it's stuff and snap. If they're watching baby then they don't even have to take the inserts out, just throw it in the wet bag and you'll take care of it later. Other things like covers you can show them how to take out the insert and put in a new one. Or pull up a YouTube video on cloth diapers. Changes are just as quick as disposable. Really.
Other than that just ignore it. I think my mom was kinda appalled but my mil never said anything. People in my family learned how to put the diapers on right and that's what was important to me.
I think it really is just the image of days past. But it's so much easier now. If they don't wanna help you with it, then fine. Like other people said, place the financial responsibility on them for diapers they want to use when they take care of baby.
@beverend I only told my husband that I planned to use cloth. He was against it in theory, but since I was the primary user and took care of everything, he was on board once he saw how I was able to cope with it. Everyone else found out when they saw us, and thanks to covid, it was after we had gotten into a routine with cloth so there was nothing they could say to discourage me. No need to pre-warn people. Just do it.
@beverend I tend to go with enthusiasm. My MIL cloth diapered but my mom only managed 6 weeks with her second child (boy, two under two...). When my mom found out I was having a boy she was all the sky is falling over my cloth stash.
I love my covers. I find prefolds really easy. I prep the diapers for my mom when she started watching my first.And I empathise when someone tells me all the reasons why it wouldn't work for them.
@beverend I basically told my mom the reasons why we chose CD, and if she didn’t want to listen or believe me, we had to just agree to disagree bc at the end of the day, this baby is not hers.
Less waste to landfill
NO BLOWOUTS
Nothing but cotton against baby’s skin
Will probably potty train earlier
My mom was convinced LO would have diaper rash all the time. Hasn’t been the case but unfortunately due to Covid my mom hasn’t been able to come visit anyway (sad face), and I can’t prove it to her lol
@beverend So, 1) You are the Mama. This is your choice. Unless they are the Daddy they don’t get a vote.
2) It is probably good to set this standard moving forward. Grandparents and Great-Grandparents it’s not your turn to make choices for the baby anymore.
@rudye This. Everyone is going to try to tell you how to raise your child. It's vital that you learn to enforce those boundaries now. You're gonna end up getting conflicting advice from all sides. Use this time before bub is here to practice "thank you for your suggestions, I am confident in my choices".
@beverend You just say you’re cloth diapering because you want to. If they ask why, you repeat “because I want to,” as often as needed.
Then you just provide cloth diapers and only cloth diapers. They can buy disposables if it’s that important to them (They won’t. And you can donate them to women’s shelters if they do.)
@tsealock Love this! Let them buy disposables if they want to.
As the parents you can decide what you want.
My parents had reservations too when we told them our plans ( listed some possible problems). We thanked them for their advice but told them we like to try cloth first. They love the prints on the covers but they still feel uncomfortable using them. So they try and bought some disposables when they don't want to use cloth.
@tsealock Was going to say this, but probably not as well said lol. Totally agree with this. This is YOUR baby, so your rules. You don’t need to give them an explanation or defend yourself. “I want to” and “it’s a decision we decided is best” are explanation enough. Sorry you have to deal with tough family members, OP!
@beverend Once they saw my stash of dad-friendly, velcro, all-in-one nappies (bambino mios, can’t recommend them enough!) my parents were more than happy to try them.
My mum, step-mum and all half-sisters are happy to use them. My step-dad hasn’t changed baby yet but when he does he says he will try. My dad has tried and struggled with fit so has his own stash of disposables that we keep at their house, that he buys.
My in-laws were VERY dismissive and MIL still is to an extent but asks questions when I change baby. SIL thinks I’m stupid (my baby has never had nappy rash, her LO has it frequently). FIL watched the baby for me and tried to use them and did a fab job so he’s semi-converted
I think once you show people the nappies and just carry on as normal people just get used to it
@becker0109 Question on the bambino mio I’ve been wanting to post. I loved mine, but the inserts just don’t do well anymore. They lasted maybe 2 months before it was leak city. Did you just convert them into pockets? Double stuff? Are your attached inserts just better? Any tips? I really loved the aio Velcro piece but they aren’t really usable anymore.
@jd4christ The insert attached on the bambino mios are microfibre, so they should always be stuffed into the pocket as microfibre can cause irritation if it’s directly against babies skin (if you use liners then it’s fine as the liner acts as a barrier).
I sometimes boost with Little Lambs double or triple bamboo boosters as I find they’re a good price, slim (always handy) and very thirsty!
Then i stuff the nappy so the microfibre is at the top inside the pocket with bamboo underneath. The microfibre absorbs quicker than bamboo and stops any flooding issues!
Also it sounds silly but check your wash routine. If you use fabric softener or too much detergent that can coat the fibres of the inserts and stop them from being as absorbent
