@littlemarlo It absolutely does get better..mine is in his mid-20s and living on his own now, so Im all the way over on the other side of this. Like, nowadays my knee jerk reaction is....hes awesome, it wasnt too bad, some days rougher than others but hey we made it!
But..if Im really honest with myself, and really think back...there were days when I thought I wasnt going to make it, physically or emotionally...and I was a wreck. Like you, I was alone...and I was in the military, so far from family. I was the only one of my military friends with a kid....once I got pregnant, and then had kiddo, we just couldnt relate to each other on any level and those friendships faded.
Someone from work picked us up from the hospital and dropped us off at my home on their lunchbreak, so I walk in the door with kiddo in my arms and literally said to him, its you and me kid. And...that was that. There were amazingly good times, like watching him grow and develop, how fast it all was happening, how curious he was and how clever he was. And there were downright terrible times...that that time he would not stop crying, everything I tried to do would only make him scream and cry even louder, and I sat outside his bedroom door, both of us in tears..and I guess eventually both of us exhausted ourselves and fell asleep. When I woke up...he was happy again. Like..WTF kid? lol
Working 12hrs days and the sitter telling me how cute it was that he started calling her mommy...yeah, that still bothers me to this day...financials sucked...I was constantly broke, and his needs HAD to be met, so I did without a lot of super basic things... Def started losing my mind for a bit there, cause I didnt go out, see anyone unless it was at work and they were not friendly people, so my only non baby interaction stressed me out too.
I was married for about 4years when he was very young, but he was also military, in a highly deployed unit, so rarely saw him...and then he cheated, we divorced and havnt seen him since... so honestly I dont even think that counts as time off from being a single mom lol cause nothing really changed, I was still alone most of the time, and 100% of his care was up to me.
As he got older, things def got better though. Like he was super aware of how hard things were and how hard I was trying, and really was just so thoughtful about things that I really appreciate. Yeah every so often stress over keeping his room clean, or not waiting til the last second to tell me he needs material to do a class project thats due tomorrow lol but for the most part, he really wanted and did so much to just, be a good kid and really be part of helping create a loving peaceful home by working together as a team since well...like that first day home together, its you and me kid.
And then...boom. Im an empty nester all of a sudden. I get a text that he cooked dinner and wants to bring some over for me, and we meet up for happy hour once a week to chill and catch up, and hes always cracking me up with silly memes and gifs, or texting to tell me how annoying the people at work are lol and its like...yeah my kid is awesome, its always been this easy. lol And it so has not...its just that...looking back, my perspective on those moments is very different from when I was in the thick of it and couldnt see past the moment I was in. I genuinely did feel like I could not handle it at times.
And also, therapy is a really, really good idea...I didnt start til kiddo was in his toddler years, still in now cause of various stuff, but yeah...fully support taking care of your mental health, cause sometimes, thats all I had to hang onto.
I feel so lucky now, when I see my son and think holy crap...not only did I not lose him in a grocery cart at the supermarket (an actual fear, I was so exhausted for so long there lol), I actually managed to raise a danged cool AF person who is now, like..out there in society responsibly adulting. FML thats insanely cool.
It absolutely definitely gets better.
You've got this 
