@nguyencuong9102 I don’t think co-sleeping is weird or inappropriate. My concern is that it deprives the kid of the opportunity to self soothe during sleep cycles.
Also, I’m not sure where I criticized my STBXW. I’m sharing on this forum about my concerns. Either way, I’ve rubbed you the wrong way. That was not my intention. Have a great day.
@nguyencuong9102 Girl…..are you the STBXW?? you are coming off so triggered. Nowhere does he say cosleeping is “weird” but I do agree w OP that it is objectively co-dependent. Either way no one is telling you how to parent your own children in here. Also, you yourself clearly come to Reddit for a safe space to criticize your ex? Is no one else allowed to do so aside from you? At least OP is being respectful.
@sedonarose I also enjoy it. I know for sure that having breaks makes me a better parent. I also have a healthy coparenting relationship with no drama.
@despondent Do you & your coparent do things together (holidays, birthday parties, anything not related to a school function)? Or does it work best for you to keep everything separate?
@theworldschristians we do things together, its not easy for alot of coparents but my ex and I were friends before we ever dated so its not as hard for us to be friendly post breakup.
in addition to the things you mentioned, we do trips together (theme parks/beach) and local events/ festivals. we rarely do routine outings together, moreso if it's something special.
@memrin My husband is a bit like this. He’s come to terms with the 50/50 over time, but he really dislikes the actual coparenting part. Not because BM is even that difficult to deal with. He just describes it as his least favourite chore and I can feel his exasperation whenever the phone rings or the text pops up.
@sedonarose I am a better parent after I have a second to catch my breath. My daughter is with her father roughly 48 hours a week and I use that time to clean, sit in my bed and do nothing, or hang out with my friends. It’s nice to feel like you’re not “just” somebody’s mom, sometimes. I miss my daughter when she’s gone but there have been weeks where she’s been a threenager or just having a bad week where I’m like “SEE YA KIDDO” by the time her dad gets to the house
@sedonarose I love this post, so nice to read the positives in separating and coparenting. A lot of the time we’re conditioned to think it’s nothing but terrible.
@sedonarose I have a friend who LOVES coparenting. He always says he gets his own space, can do all his favorite things, and just when he misses them the kids are back home!
So it can have an upside if all else is manageable.
Kids actually develop independence and emotional security when adults help them regulate. It’s not codependent at all to help them soothe themselves.
There’s plenty of research that supports the health of cosleeping, and as another commenter said, it’s done by many other cultures and countries. It seems “independent sleep” is pretty much a uniquely American development.
you are coming off so triggered. Nowhere does he say cosleeping is “weird” but I do agree w OP that it is objectively co-dependent. Either way no one is telling you how to parent your own children in here. Also, you yourself clearly come to Reddit for a safe space to criticize your ex? Is no one else allowed to do so aside from you? At least OP is being respectful.