"Coparent" is not informing me of anything

[thomas1985]

@joyfilled She might be grieving, but she was not the primary caregiver. She works full time, and so do I. We shared all care for the kids on a daily basis before the separation. If anything, she would go out to the gym twice a week and "shopping" with her friends a couple of weekends a month (which always meant that the kids were my responsibility for the day. Not complaining about that either. I just always thought it was weird how often she wanted to be out of the house when they were home).

 

[katrina2017]

@thomas1985 Who did the doctors appointments, dentist appointments, bed time, school conferences, kept track of vaccines, arranged afterschool activities?

 

[thomas1985]

@katrina2017 Both of us, and mostly equally. Neither one of us wanted to miss those things. The only big imbalance was me taking the kids in and picking them up from school ~4/5 times a week. And I would keep track of and file the medical records or important documents.

 

[katrina2017]

@thomas1985 Ok then sounds like 50/50 was appropriate then. It also sounds like you were informed of the appointment. She fulfilled her legal obligations. I would suggest you reach out with some therapist options you prefer, or agree to the one she has selected. It’s important your kids go to therapy during (what sounds like) a high-conflict divorce. If you don’t like the one she picked then work with her to pick another one.

 

[thomas1985]

@katrina2017 All communications were ordered to go through 1 coparenting app. And I'm pretty confident she doesn't know I'm the primary contact for the pediatrician's office.

 

[katrina2017]

@thomas1985 Being so early in the divorce process and co-parenting relationship, try to build positive interactions. I know it sucks, but try to give her some grace and work together. Don’t take her actions as an attack on you or your parenting, just put it aside and try to make what’s best for the kids the priority. It’s not going to be easy, but you can get there.