Husband called me the c word and says I’m not being a wife

[tdholley2]

@aelfex He is TA, there is no excuse for his behaviors

 

[omeiza]

@aelfex I'm so sorry internet stranger, you don't deserve that. No one does, but clearly if even some of what you wrote is accurate, you definitely don't. And your story is far too easy to believe and common.

What I'm going to say has been echoed already, I'm just going to add that in my opinion, being a parent means we don't have the luxury of being optimistic; if you want to try and eek it out a while longer to tell yourself you tried absolutely everything, then fine. But I think you already know where this leads. And as a parent, that means putting a plan in place so that you and your daughter aren't caught out. Your husband is already showing himself to be someone who makes financially unsound snap decisions, and you should not be letting him control your finances, as well as being checked out as a partner. Shore up an escape raft. Have a plan. A line drawn in the sand. And stick to it.

The fact he has you playing the part of the one begging him to stay shows he's already manipulating the situation to his favour. Sometimes, doing it alone is easier than parenting two and having to question if one is going to sabotage at every turn or leave you high and dry unexpetedly. Even in the little ways as with the car wash. His issues are not your responsibility, your daughter is.

I truly wish you all the best, mama.

 

[xanthe]

@aelfex He lost all respect for YOU? The playing video games all day would of led me to lose all respect for him on top of everything else. If you're married you should make financial decisions together, super unresponsible of him to quit his job and get a new car. My husband quit his job too unexpectedly (which was fine because he was working midnights anyways) but promised to look asap and that led to three months of not even attempting to look. So I KNOW that was super frustrating for you. I'm sorry he's putting you through so much at such a fragile time. The sex thing- he should get over because it seems youre stressed and going through a lot seemingly alone. If I were you, I'd give him another ultimatum, like stop being a douche and step up or get out. If you're going to be doing it on your own with him there you might as well do it happily without him dragging you down.

 

[achilles]

@aelfex Nope you look for a job it's easier to care for just you and baby believe it or not. I'm not sure how old baby is now put there's daycare jobs you can bring your kids for free. Even if your not thing of leaving right now you need to build your own seperate savings since he showed he has no problem fucking you guys financially.

 

[melisha82]

@aelfex Omg just divorce this looser and make sure that car is sold or the debt is his in the divorce. Your life will be easier without him.

 

[sparrow1984]

@aelfex Mine calls me a bitch nearly daily even though my response is always begging him not to say that and he also tells me I’m not doing my part. You’re not alone even though you may feel like it. If you ever need a safe space that won’t charge an hourly fee but may also cry back with you, I’m here.

 

[gken]

@aelfex It sounds like your husband is in the middle of a long mental breakdown. He needs psychological help.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this on top of being a new mom. You're doing a great job.

 

[richmondjema]

@gken OP, gentle reminder that it’s not your job to lift your husband out of his “funk.” OP and everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Your husband having a mental breakdown doesn’t excuse his abysmal behavior.

 

[gken]

@richmondjema Yes, 100%! I hope I didn't make it sound otherwise.

 

[richmondjema]

@gken You didn’t. Just wanted to put it out there.

 

[gken]

@richmondjema Thank you!