I just need to rant. I love being a mom. I love taking care of my son. Don’t get me wrong but no one tells you how lonely it is. I’m not looking for sympathy I just need to vent.
I am a single parent of one. Not by choice, but the father was an A.H. And left me to do it alone. I was fine with it ‘cause he was/is abusive. Still to this day towards me but that’s another story for another day.
When I was 26 I was living my best life sort of speak. I had a good run in my twenties. I don’t regret anything. (Except meeting my child’s dad) I was working and just living life. It was lonely through . I don’t have the greatest family. I was going through a lot at the time. Not having a good relationship with my family was one of them. I come from a toxic family where my mom is a narcissist and since I was young she didn’t really love me. So our relationship was always very rocky and it did affect my relationships with my siblings alot.
That’s where I always had this void inside of me where I always graved having a family. Cause I missed being apart of something and just the overall feeling of belonging somewhere. I missed what that felt like when I was little before my mom left my dad. she left him when I was 14 that’s when my life was shit. My family fell apart after that and with her she didn’t know how be a parent.
I lived alone a lot. I moved around a lot. And it was lonely. My family has this annoying tendency of excluding me from family functions or get togethers . They would next to never call me or visit me where I was living which was not far away at all. They would frequently go to the city where I lived but never stop by or message. If I didn’t text them first I would NEVER hear from them. So being stupid at the time, I had this big bright idea that I would start dating and create a family of my own.. so I started dating and the experience was horrible. I hate dating. Especially when all people are looking for is one nighties. Or you end up meeting a needy/controlling/ and abusive psychopath. (Like my child’s dad)
Anyways I ended up being a single mom instead.
It was okay at first . We were doing so well. I never struggled financially or went without. My son always had what needs and wants. But it’s very lonely. . I am currently stuffing with post something depression after you have a child. Makes sense but it it doesn’t change the fact I struggle with loneliness. My family still don’t visit or call or text. My other siblings are married and have complete families. They often do stuff together and take their kids on trips etc. but they never invite me or my child. Same shit. Idk why I thought now that I had a child they would bother with me more
I don’t have friends anymore since having a child. That’s my fault for only having friends that drink and party. I tried going to single mom groups but the one where I live only do Tuesday mornings and I work full time. I have proper I talk to at work but I’m not FRIENDS with them. A lot of them don’t have kids. Or are married and busy with their families.
So as a single mother, it’s hard to make new friends as I find out.
Dating is out of the question. I have no time and when I do I’m so exhausted and have a hyper 3 yr old.
It bothers me every day that I failed to provide my son with a complete family. I know he also gets lonely at times when it’s just us all the time and it makes me sad. So thankful for daycare . Helps.
It never bothered me before when we go on “our “ family trips . Like going shopping , or when I take my son out to indoor play places , or a road trip to the mountains etc. but now it does. I hate doing it alone. Especially when I see other parents doing shit together. Like idk I wish I had someone to do this shit with too.
I wish I had someone me and my son can come home to . I wish I had another adult in the house I can talk to about my day at work. I obviously can’t talk to my son like that . He’s 3 lol I love him tho.
Idk. Got long writing this. Bottom line it’s just very lonely and it sucks sometimes.
I am a single parent of one. Not by choice, but the father was an A.H. And left me to do it alone. I was fine with it ‘cause he was/is abusive. Still to this day towards me but that’s another story for another day.
When I was 26 I was living my best life sort of speak. I had a good run in my twenties. I don’t regret anything. (Except meeting my child’s dad) I was working and just living life. It was lonely through . I don’t have the greatest family. I was going through a lot at the time. Not having a good relationship with my family was one of them. I come from a toxic family where my mom is a narcissist and since I was young she didn’t really love me. So our relationship was always very rocky and it did affect my relationships with my siblings alot.
That’s where I always had this void inside of me where I always graved having a family. Cause I missed being apart of something and just the overall feeling of belonging somewhere. I missed what that felt like when I was little before my mom left my dad. she left him when I was 14 that’s when my life was shit. My family fell apart after that and with her she didn’t know how be a parent.
I lived alone a lot. I moved around a lot. And it was lonely. My family has this annoying tendency of excluding me from family functions or get togethers . They would next to never call me or visit me where I was living which was not far away at all. They would frequently go to the city where I lived but never stop by or message. If I didn’t text them first I would NEVER hear from them. So being stupid at the time, I had this big bright idea that I would start dating and create a family of my own.. so I started dating and the experience was horrible. I hate dating. Especially when all people are looking for is one nighties. Or you end up meeting a needy/controlling/ and abusive psychopath. (Like my child’s dad)
Anyways I ended up being a single mom instead.
It was okay at first . We were doing so well. I never struggled financially or went without. My son always had what needs and wants. But it’s very lonely. . I am currently stuffing with post something depression after you have a child. Makes sense but it it doesn’t change the fact I struggle with loneliness. My family still don’t visit or call or text. My other siblings are married and have complete families. They often do stuff together and take their kids on trips etc. but they never invite me or my child. Same shit. Idk why I thought now that I had a child they would bother with me more
I don’t have friends anymore since having a child. That’s my fault for only having friends that drink and party. I tried going to single mom groups but the one where I live only do Tuesday mornings and I work full time. I have proper I talk to at work but I’m not FRIENDS with them. A lot of them don’t have kids. Or are married and busy with their families. So as a single mother, it’s hard to make new friends as I find out.
Dating is out of the question. I have no time and when I do I’m so exhausted and have a hyper 3 yr old.
It bothers me every day that I failed to provide my son with a complete family. I know he also gets lonely at times when it’s just us all the time and it makes me sad. So thankful for daycare . Helps.
It never bothered me before when we go on “our “ family trips . Like going shopping , or when I take my son out to indoor play places , or a road trip to the mountains etc. but now it does. I hate doing it alone. Especially when I see other parents doing shit together. Like idk
I wish I had someone to do this shit with too. I wish I had someone me and my son can come home to . I wish I had another adult in the house I can talk to about my day at work. I obviously can’t talk to my son like that . He’s 3 lol I love him tho.
Idk. Got long writing this. Bottom line it’s just very lonely and it sucks sometimes.
beautiful reminder
I feel you brother 
