Almost 4 month old still feeding every 1-2 hours 24/7 for 5 weeks, I'm about to lose my sanity

patrickmoore89

New member
Hi, first time poster here, and also a FTM.

My son is currently 1 week shy of 4 months. For the past 5 weeks we've been in some sort of feeding hell that's slowly been chipping away at my sanity, and apparently also my ability to stay asleep. We're EBF, and we have finally gotten to a place where there's no pain and he's got a good latch on both sides. However, his feeding schedule is nuts - even though I know it can be nuts, it feels like it's gotten out of hand.

My son feeds every 1-2 hours 24/7. He only feeds for maybe 2-5 minutes (in the start of this fresh hell this was ~7-8 minutes per feed, when he "ordered more milk"), except for his bedtime feed at 8pm where he nurses for 10-25 minutes.

Despite the longer feed, he still wakes up at 10pm, midnight, and from midnight on it is more every 1-1.5 hours. It's rare that he sleeps more than 2 hours, and even rarer that it's 3. The last few nights I've started having insomnia as well, as my sleep is getting so broken up and I start to dread his wakings.

During the day, getting him to feed for longer stretches than 3-4 minutes seem impossible. He's also far from a calm eater during the day - always bending and flailing and kicking while eating (I describe it as eating with his whole body). Can take breaks for minutes at a time before continuing.

Is there anything I can do to get out of this? Increase his time spent feeding and staying full for longer - if so how? Dark rooms during the day don't work, and spacing out how far between he goes between feeds have so far not helped (he just gets cranky). I have also noticed that while my supply has regulated, I'm getting less and less full during the night the past few weeks as my sleep is so bad I get very few "breaks" to actually produce milk (or so it feels like). I know there still is milk there. But I very, very rarely feel "full".

We're currently cosleeping in bed to get extra sleep (we practice the safe 7) while nursing.

Any advice? I'm EBF and on maternity leave in the EU so I don't have to worry about going back to work right now. But I feel like I can't take care of him when I'm this tired. He also doesn't like bottles, so we've had little success in giving him pumped milk. I also know about the whole thing with 3-4 months being hard but ... It feels like this is getting out of hand? What the fresh hell? 🥲

Edit to add: I've always had a lot of milk, and at the beginning before it regulated I had an oversupply. I try to burp every feed but it doesn't always result in a burp.

Edit 2: grammar

UPDATE:

So we did what a few suggested - I moved out of the bedroom and now sleep on a mattress on the living room floor. My husband is cosleeping with the baby and tell you what - the baby was TOTALLY smelling me during his slight wake-ups, and then refused to go back to sleep until he had the boob. The 3-4 month sleep regression is no joke, and hell on boobs.

The first night, we had 3 wake-ups in the night (11 pm, 2 am, 6 am - wake-up was 7:30 am). The second night, one (at 2 am). Let me tell you, I was VERY ready for him when he woke up 😆

So, that's now our new arrangement. Husband will sleep with our son, and see if he can get him used to sleeping in a baby nest during the night, so that we can try to eventually move him to the bedside crib so that I can move back into the bedroom.

But for now, we'll sleep separately until my son can sleep more soundly. I'm enjoying my sleep now. And honestly, enjoying my son more.
 
@jongeek this was one of the most frustrating comments i got the entire first year of my son’s life. it made me cringe every single time & made me feel like i was doing something wrong. he didn’t sleep through the night until he was almost 3 🫠
 
@kimv I have a friend, her baby started sleeping through the night at 2 months and has had no sleep regression. To say I'm jealous is an understatement 🫠 and both my mom and my sister are horrified hearing about how we have it, but I'm pretty sure they had these periods too, they just don't remember them with their kids 🙄
 
@patrickmoore89 My little guy just turned 4 Months this week and we had been in the same boat. Day or night, he would nurse every 2 hours around the clock, on one side only for about 5-7 mins. I hadn't put two and two together, but around this age they are also transitioning out of their newborn sleep cycles and into a more "normal" sleep cycle with stages of light and deep sleep.

We finally figured out when he would wake at night after his two hour stretch, he was wanting the boob to help soothe him and put him back to sleep. I assumed because he eats every 2 hours during the day, he needed to do so at night as well, and would pop him on for a feeding.

In order to break this habit, we've had to find other ways to help soothe him and get him back to sleep. If all else fails and he is still upset/crying, then I'll offer the boob

Our pediatrician said as long as he is getting adequate feedings during the day, he should be able to sleep longer stretches without waking to eat

This week he has had 6 hour stretches is is getting the hang of soothing himself and learning he doesn't need the boob to go to sleep!

This is just my experience and what has worked for us, with the advice of our pediatrician. Sending hugs as yall try to figure it out, 4 months straight of 2 hour sleeps is a torture I wouldn't wish on anyone! Hang in there friend.
 
@wefybqefb What did you do to help him find other ways of soothing during the night? I've tried gently hushing and giving him the pacifier several times, but normally this just increases his stirring and restlessness and I end up having to give him the boob 🥲

I did know the thing about sleep cycles - he's been a crappy sleeper since he was 11 weeks or so 😅 luckily it's not been a problem during the night... So far 😬
 
@patrickmoore89 My guy has never taken a pacifier unfortunately so we have had to get creative.

It usually involves some shushing, back patting and rubbing. In the beginning we did some bouncing and rocking and gradually moved to things we could do while keeping him in his bassinet so he didn't expect us to pick him up every time.

We also did some light Ferber method training, if you're comfortable trying that. I was against it at first but my husband desperately pleaded with me to give it a try so we could both get more than a 2 hour stretch. I know not everyone is comfortable doing that but we had to try something different because what we were doing was not working at all!
 
@patrickmoore89 Instead of me feeding baby, my husband would get up and try to rock her to sleep. He would try twice, then if she wasn’t having it, we fed her. This helped makes the 4 month sleep regression manageable. I know it’s not for everyone, but we sleep trained at about 4.5 months and she’s only nursing twice at night now. She’s 5 months old.
 
@increasinglygrateful This is a good suggestion. Try a few times then offer boob if that doesn't work. We'll try it during the weekend, and I'll see if I can get him to eat for longer stretches during the day. I'll just have to find a REALLY boring corner of the house to sit and nurse in, and try to pop it in when he's half asleep or something 😅
 
@patrickmoore89 What I read while my 3 week old was purple crying was to swaddle, hold to your chest on their side (cos being on their back seems to make gas pain worse?) Dummy in, rock/away/walk around and hush really loudly. It works pretty damn well.
 
@patrickmoore89 Do you have a partner? Try leaving the room (sleep on a couch or anywhere really; I slept in the hallway and my husband took my walk in closet when we sleep trained) and letting your partner soothe overnight. Baby signs be able to go at least 3 hours, so have your partner take a 3 hour stretch so you can sleep, and if baby seems starving when you're not in the room, or is still unsettled after your other tries that long, then you come feed. It really needs to not be you if you're trying to soothe without the boob
 
@llee We'll have to try it during the weekend. My husband does all the chores at home and takes him during evenings and weekends, but he drives a lot when he works and I don't want to risk him being in a car accident due to sleep deprivation. Last night was a little more manageable - he ate only 4-5 times compared to 9 times the night before, and I didn't have insomnia so I'm less zombie today 😅 we'll try something in a few days regarding nights!
 
@patrickmoore89 No advice, just solidarity. 1 week shy of 4 months also and has been like this for about a month too.

She was sleeping decent before and now it’s just crap during the day and night. Also EBF no bottle which is a whole different problem. 🫠😵‍💫

I wish I could fastforward through this “season”
 
@patrickmoore89 I feel like I remember a time like this with my older daughter but everything is a blur from back then.

Unfortunately my leave is coming to an end soon! One of my friends recommended a book by Rowena Bennett to help with bottle aversion. She said she had success with it, going to give it a try soon!

How long are you on leave? I wish I had a few more mo the then I wouldn’t even care about the bottle !
 
@orthodoxdavid I can check it out! Tbh, if I was used to the boob I would also prefer it to a plastic bottle 😂

I'm on leave until end of May 2024, wherein my husband will take over and be on leave for 6 months. So I'm off 10 months total 😊
 
@patrickmoore89 That's the four month sleep regression/progression when babies' sleep cycle go from newborn to more similar to adults. They go from seeming like they sleep so well to almost like we did something wrong.

Eventually your baby will sleep in long and longer stretches again. It takes awhile and goes slowly. My babe ate every 1-2 hours for so well past 6 months.

For some advice, heysleepybaby on IG is great for physiologically normal infant sleep.
 
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