My girl will be 3 soon. She is pretty much pee potty trained. She’s only had a pee accident once in a blue moon and it’s always out of the house. Poop on the other hand…is always happening in her undies. We haven’t had a single poop in the toilet.
I’ve tried stickers, positive reinforcement, timers, watching for “signs” she is going.
Idk what I am doing wrong but I’m starting to get mad cleaning shitty undies every day. I have been neutral toned (not making it a big deal or punishing her when she poops in her undies) up until the last few days. Yesterday I put her in a time out for 2 mins out of frustration.
I tell her, her only job is to tell me when she has to poop and she won’t even do that. She tells me every time when she has to pee.
@drawingangel2 She might feel comfortable doing it her her underwear. It could help to let her go without. In summer it's easier, especially if you can be outside so the cleanup isn't too bad. A summer of walking bottom less was what finally made my son learn
@drawingangel2 We offer diapers at nap and nighttime for this reason. Being poop trained typically takes longer than pee training and we’re not rushing it. You’re not doing anything wrong, some just don’t catch on as fast.
@questionall We did this too. For a long time my son would just poop first thing in the morning in his pull-up and then wear underwear all day until bedtime. He barely had any interest in potty training at all so this felt like a very welcome compromise.
@questionall This is what we do with my son and he quickly adjusted to just doing his poops when he has the diaper on. Beyond that I stopped pressing the issue, since at least he's not having messy accidents down his legs. I always ask him "when are you going to poopy on the potty" or say "you won't have to have this stinky gross diaper if you just poopied on the potty." He always responds "nooo, poopy on the potty", so I know he definitely comprehends what I want him to do. He's just not ready yet.
@questionall Same. We occasionally got lucky with going on the potty instead, but my daughter would mostly go during nap/sleep. She started asking to be changed as soon as she woke up if she had a dirty diaper (which she didn’t used to do - it seemed like after some successful movements on the potty she was much more bothered by a dirty diaper), and then out of the blue she’s now going entirely on the potty and not during sleep.
@questionall Same. Took my son 9 months to poop on the toilet. I was so frustrated, but some kids it just takes a long time. Finally bribed him with a Spider-Man costume and that pushed him to try.
@drawingangel2 Many kids will withhold poop with potty training which causes a lot of issues and can need medical intervention, so it's good that it's not making her scared to poop! The best thing to do is take advantage of peristalsis. So put her on the potty after eating and staying for a while. Practice valsalva pushing on the potty. You'll get there!
@8erkid We are currently in this situation with our 3 year old, and trying to get him to not hold his poop in has been extremely difficult.
I keep thinking we are making progress and then he starts holding it in again and fighting against his body, it’s been so hard as parents to watch. I wish we could go back and stop it all before it started.
@8erkid No please don’t do that. No one just sits on a toilet waiting for poop. It’s not teaching her to be aware of her body as make choices.
Start tracking at what time of day she typically poops. Like a week or 2. Then around that time watch her for signs of pooping (holding it, hiding, etc) when you notice then get her to the toilet.
If she’s afraid of the toilet get her things to make her comfortable like a stable seat with handle’s and cushion, or the like. If it’s about the water, I heard taping a diaper in the toilet like a catch net works.
Just know she’s acting in normal development. Withholding poop is about her control. Don’t get in a battle of control and power with her. Be thoughtful, don’t punish. She’ll get there with your help, not anger.
@drawingangel2 Please don't put her in time out. My mom used to punish me for not pooping in the toilet and it led to me having chronic constipation. If she needs to poop, give her a diaper.
@drawingangel2 You’re not doing anything wrong. In my experience, poop takes a lot longer than pee. Poop is also “scarier” than pee. My youngest didn’t get it until she hit 3.5yo, and for both my girls we didn’t even get to pee until age 3 so yours is already making great progress imo! When I started getting fed up I bribed her with a “poop toy” for her first potty poop. Anything she wanted from target (within reason). I had to repeat the bribe for almost a month . I know those poop accidents in the undies are no fun. Hang in there, she’ll get it soon!
@drawingangel2 We started mine at 3 and he didn’t poop in the potty until he was 4 a week before prek. One day he just did it and didn’t go back. I know it’s so frustrating but sometimes they’re not ready
@drawingangel2 You put on undies way too fast. We went commando for about two weeks. She also might need privacy to poop. My kid was poop shy so she held her poop until I put on the night time diaper. She was also adamant about not pooping outside the home even when she was a few months old so we had that going for us. At some point I figured out her limit for holding poop (1.5 days) and would put her on the potty and leave her alone to do chores. She pooped on her own and got the gist.
I would say it took about a month for her to be completely potty trained including nights though she will occasionally pee in her sleep once every few weeks. Normally she will wake up and ask to potty so we keep a potty in her room.
I highly recommend the book “oh crap! Potty training” there’s an issue with waiting too long as well. My sister was potty trained by 14 months. I was by 15 months. I was scared to do it even though my kid was ready by 14-15 months because she was holding her pee at night which is a sure sign of proper muscle control. I trained her at 25 months and she was done by 26. The book recommends training between 20-30 months but gives advice on what to do if you’re beyond that range.
@drawingangel2 Look, my kid is almost 3 and I’ve tried it all. He’s just not hyped about alerting me. I’ve decided, after 4 months of driving myself nuts, to just try my best and encourage him throughout the day. He’s my second kid and polar opposite of my first…and I’m just going to be ok with him learning at his own pace. He knows when he has to poop, he knows where both the potty and practice potty are, and I’m not going to make myself nuts trying to force him to adhere. Your efforts are NOT in vain, but it may not happen how you want it to. Give yourself some credit for trying and just let it work out how it will. These kids are going to work it out for themselves and that day/week will be GLORIOUS.
@drawingangel2 Poop is a whole different beast. Many kids have poop anxiety about letting go of their poop. It’s scary to let it just plop in the bowl for them. I went thru this with my son and my sister went through this with 2 out of her 3 kids.
It may seem mean but what worked for us is to just rip the bandaid off and just forcing him to poop on the potty once we saw signs of him trying to go. We would just pick him up and sit him down on the toilet and stay in there with him telling it’s ok and nothing is going to happen to him. After a few times they get past the fear.
. I know those poop accidents in the undies are no fun. Hang in there, she’ll get it soon!