@artg I could have written this post myself. I was talking to a friend about the actual amount of time I get to spend with my kids and I got really negative comments when I mentioned that my daycare raises my children. If I mapped out time in percentages of our day, I'm betting lots of money they spend more awake quality hours there than in my actual presence. I still parent obviously, but our system has gotten so out of whack.
Working parent rant
- Thread starter artg
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@artg I work outside the home only two days a week, so in theory I would have more time to do laundry, cook, clean, etc. But it doesn’t work that way, because I am taking care of kids the other days. And my life is a hot mess. No idea how to help, just solidarity. You made me feel less alone and like I’m not a total failure 
@artg Yeah, I live in a constant state of burnout (6 year old plus 10 month old). My weight is slowly creeping up because I can’t find the time to practice any self care beyond just making sure I shower before work. My house is a disaster, my work is sloppy from lack of sleep and I’m starting to accumulate debt from medical bills and daycare. Honestly, a lot of days I just want to quit my job until my kids get a little older. I don’t know how this level of stress got normalized but holy shit it’s exhausting.
@artg Sounds about right. And for those of us who still have a younger child that doesn’t sleep, add on getting up 2-3 times every night for the last 18 months. Haven’t exercised in 4 years, but who’s counting. And I cannot get through the day with at least 32 ounces of coffee. Folding laundry? Ha! Going to the doctor? Not since before kids! (Aside from all the pregnancy related appts). Eating healthy?Does pizza count? My poor husband doesn’t get the time of day, and I’m that crazy one who wants another baby 
despondent
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@artg My kids are grown and I look back and say to myself “How the hell did I do that?” Let me assure you, you’re doing great! It will get easier as the kids get older and there will be different challenges. Slowly, ever so slowly, there will be time for self-care. Sneak it in when you can even if that means something as simple as a longer shower or a car ride by yourself. It’s all worth it in the end 
@artg This is exactly what working mom life is like. And I say this with a husband who fully helps cook and clean. For Salome reason the longer days of summer feel better than the short dark winter days, but I barely spend any time with my baby just getting home from work, school/daycare pick up, making and eating dinner, then bedtime with the older two kids, also 3 and 6. I just try to take it in stride but man I wish it was easier. It sucks having to take a day off just to catch up on cleaning and barely make a dent. But Ha! Jokes on me, my kid will actually be sick that day so no I don't get a day off.
@artg It's Saturday as I write this, the husband was doing farm and family things all day until he got back at 3pm. Then we went to the park and came home for dinner around 5pm. I asked if I could get a massage to get the kinks worked out on my left shoulder/chest (probably from holding a toddler all night) and he asked what I did all day : / I said, you're right, I should be doing chores instead and shamed him into helping me. And somehow it's still my fault for choosing to go to the park with my family instead of staying home and cleaning. I'm so tired.