Working parent rant

@artg
Both my husband and I work full time. By the time everybody gets home on the week-days, I have to make dinner. When dinner is over, we begin what is the massive shitshow of our bedtime routine. We then get about 1 hour to lounge on the couch, but that also means no cleaning gets done. The weekends feel like a blink because all I do is try to catch up around the house from the week in addition to extracurricular activities for my kids and trying to do stuff to entertain them.

This is a weird mix of "I"s and "We"s. Is your husband helping make dinner on weekdays or cleaning the house on weekends? If not, he should be.

I'm blessed to have a husband who does both of these things. I don't know how it can possibly work otherwise with two parents working.
 
@paxsincera This exactly. We both work full time and have 5 kids between us (I have 3 and he has 2 who live with us) with another on the way. I’m 34 weeks pregnant. I’m tired (mostly because of the pregnancy) but not as exhausted as when i only had 2 kids and a lazy partner (my ex-husband). Having a helpful partner is a GAME changer. Sometimes I even feel a little guilty about how much he does but try to remind myself my brain is just conditioned like that from my last relationship.
 
@paxsincera Agree. I cook three days a week, hubby either cooks or buys dinner the other days. He does the laundry and puts it away. He cleans the kitchen most days while I do bath/bedtime. He keeps our bedroom clean, I keep the common areas clean. My 14 yr old cleans the bathrooms, cleans the litter box and does his own laundry. When I had our last baby I let everyone know in no uncertain terms- EVERYONE is helping and gave each person their chores.
 
@artg They say that it takes a village, which the boomer generation had. Not sure if your situation, but both my mother and MIL attitudes are like, "we did it alone, so you should be able to do it with a husband". Wrong, my aunts picked me and my siblings up from daycare and school, fed us, and bathed us. My grandmother spent all day cleaning the house and making us new clothes, she also is the one who potty trained us and got us sleeping through the night. My MIL had the same level of support from friends and family. All these things happened while they were at work and came home to a clean house and fed kids. Our generation now has to pay for that level of support, which is a luxury, so we are stuck doing, or in my case not doing, everything. My mom also had the audacity to say things like, "this is what equality looks like". Just no. Needless to say don't talk to my mom much.
 
@mariasmith I get so cranky when people try to make it seem like they never had help. My mom had a hard life in many ways but she often says she was completely on her own with me but yet we lived in a house full of family (typical NY immigrants) so my grandma fed and watched me on school days and met me at the bus stop to walk me home. My aunt and cousin cleaned the house from top to bottom every single weekend. My cousin folded and put away all the laundry in the house. My house was never unattended because of the amount of people so she could go run an errand anytime bc I could stay with someone. My sister was much older than me so she also helped watch me. Not quite nothing as she often says and I get annoyed that she discounts that help.
 
@yulia My parents remember and understand how helpful their parents were, because I remember, and I have brought it up to them. My dad’s parents stayed over during the school year, and my mom’s parents took over in the summertime, every single year growing up.

My grandparents literally did every daily chore for everyone— all of the laundry, cleaning, driving us to activities, taking us shopping, doing our homework with us, picking out our clothing for us, bath time, and cooking. Even some extras, like growing fresh fruit and veggies for us in the garden!

Yet, my parents would never ever DREAM of doing our laundry or cooking for us! They have the audacity to complain to me about how busy they are as empty-nesters who don’t have any hobbies, and are very rarely helpful to us. Even after I had a preterm emergency c-section, they never once helped out during my recovery. Every time they see us, they expect to be catered to.

It’s very selfish.
 
@yuppers Yes, this!! The older generation expecting to have things done f3oe them and 'taken care of' , I guess it may be fine other times as they earned it or something, but to expect that from a mom of littles , sometimes with a husband who also expects to be taken care off! I better get off this thread, its making me so mad im yelling ! All the exclamation marks 😁
 
@yulia Sorry, that comment was more aimed at the one above that everyone in the boomer generation had a village. Not you, you were talking about your specific case.
 
@artg I feel this deeply. Plus don’t forget to exercise and make family memories! The grind is endless. Do you live near a Fresh Market? They have a weekly Meal Deal For like $20 prep work already done, that’s a go-to for me. I also found a local place that has ready to go healthyish meals and casseroles. I always have a casserole from them frozen for when I utterly am spent.
 
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