bluesky741
New member
@paul_1965 Meal prep too. Cooking every day is ridiculous
Working parent rant
- Thread starter artg
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abbycadabby20
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@artg All we can do is our best. Don't try to be perfect, you'll always fail to live up to your own "perfect."
Keep your kids (and yourselves) fed, clean, and happy. Not necessarily in that order. Everything else can keep until tomorrow.
Stop and do something silly with your kids once in a while. Dance party? Dress up? Make up? Anything silly and out of the norm.
"Enjoy the good times, they go by fast." This means the bad times go by fast too! They don't last and good times are just around the corner!
You got this, momma
Keep your kids (and yourselves) fed, clean, and happy. Not necessarily in that order. Everything else can keep until tomorrow.
Stop and do something silly with your kids once in a while. Dance party? Dress up? Make up? Anything silly and out of the norm.
"Enjoy the good times, they go by fast." This means the bad times go by fast too! They don't last and good times are just around the corner!
You got this, momma
@artg Yessssss to all of this. We have a 3 year old and 9 month old.
I go through cycles of some weekends feeling like I need to take care of the house and power through laundry, dishes, clean the floors. Others I just want to work outside so the house stays a disaster but I love developing my garden. I feel guilty doing either because my kids need something all the time and the baby is crawling and pulling up to everything. I hardly accomplish much.
There is no self care but I did buy myself my first new pair of jeans since probably like 2013. It’s amazing what a new pair of jeans can do. Old navy - $17 on a Memorial Day sale!
I go through cycles of some weekends feeling like I need to take care of the house and power through laundry, dishes, clean the floors. Others I just want to work outside so the house stays a disaster but I love developing my garden. I feel guilty doing either because my kids need something all the time and the baby is crawling and pulling up to everything. I hardly accomplish much.
There is no self care but I did buy myself my first new pair of jeans since probably like 2013. It’s amazing what a new pair of jeans can do. Old navy - $17 on a Memorial Day sale!
toastfiend
New member
@greg1911 I have a similar age split. My husband frequently works weekends and has had more overnights than usual at job sites lately. My 3yo is getting so much screen time lately because the 5 month old needs to nurse in silence and darkness otherwise she will not nap at all. And when I do get the baby down there’s so much to do and so little time to play with my 3 yo. I feel so guilty but also don’t see another way.
@artg This isn’t an option for everyone, but I use to 100% feel this way until I started working from home. I cried many days because I was so overstimulated and exhausted every day. I was miserable. I now work fully remote and it’s been a complete gam changer. I finally enjoy my evenings with my kids. I could never go back to working in office now.
@artg It definitely helps to outsource what you can. I rarely go to the store now (outside of grocery shopping) bc I order all of my household stuff online on my lunch break. It also may not be feasible for everyone but I wake up earlier than my 2.5 year old to meal prep before work since my husband is responsible for the cooking part (he works 6-230 and home at 330, I work 9-5 and home by 630) some days I even throw the laundry in the washer when I first wake up and then throw it in the dryer before I leave. My mom watches my son at our house so the house isn’t unattended. Sometimes her and my son will make an activity out of folding the laundry and bringing the basket back upstairs. We also invested in a robot vacuum so that can get done while we sleep. Do we have a perfect system? Absolutely not. But we’re getting by!
@artg Best thing I ever did for myself was taking Mondays off. Having a three day weekend makes everything feel SO much less chaotic and I basically treat Mondays like my part-time nanny/house cleaner/professional chef gig so I truly can relax on Saturdays and Sundays. I know this isn’t feasible for everyone, but it’s worth checking out what your cutoff for “full time” is at work. Mine is only 30 hours so I can get full time benefits while getting a better work life balance.
@artg I don't even know who said this, but we are expected to work like we don't have kids and raise kids like we don't work.
It makes no sense!!
I stopped setting up expectations and giving my kids a snack as soon as we got home. I used to be afraid that would ruin their appetite, but it truly doesn't.
Download PBS Kids and let them have that iPad while you gather whatever grains of sanity you have left after a long ass day. Turn on the subtitles and count it as reading time. They'll be ok.
Divide up the chores. You make dinner, and your partner cleans up. No excuses.
Bedtime should just be bath, brush teeth and hair, a story and into bed. Keep. It. Simple.
Give them choices. Kids also do need to feel like they have a teeny bit of control. So for bathtime ask "bubbles or no bubbles". For reading "this book or that book"... stuff like that.
You're in the thick of it. I swear it changes again once they reach 8 years old. Sending good vibes
It makes no sense!!
I stopped setting up expectations and giving my kids a snack as soon as we got home. I used to be afraid that would ruin their appetite, but it truly doesn't.
Download PBS Kids and let them have that iPad while you gather whatever grains of sanity you have left after a long ass day. Turn on the subtitles and count it as reading time. They'll be ok.
Divide up the chores. You make dinner, and your partner cleans up. No excuses.
Bedtime should just be bath, brush teeth and hair, a story and into bed. Keep. It. Simple.
Give them choices. Kids also do need to feel like they have a teeny bit of control. So for bathtime ask "bubbles or no bubbles". For reading "this book or that book"... stuff like that.
You're in the thick of it. I swear it changes again once they reach 8 years old. Sending good vibes
@artg I could have written this. Totally empathize, OP, it's really hectic and seems insane.
I get home in time to say goodnight and hope there is dinner leftovers for me, and I leave in the morning with enough time to wake the kids and do the minimum routine of what's needed before I get out the door. I try to call the kids during lunch and see if they're okay and do they want me to bring home anything specific (i.e. candy for the next day), but it's a coin flip if I'll get to talk to them. Their dad leaves before I do and gets back earlier but he immediately has the dinner/baths/one house chore time to do anything. Today was the first time he and I have spent actual time together in just over three weeks. I cried last weekend while rushing to get home after groceries (pick: home for bedtime or miss it to get what we need after work) and told my husband I haven't been a mom in two straight weeks.
I only have time to care for myself every two or three days, for an hour maybe, because I skip another bedtime or I skip dinner to do it. The house is a wreck, I speed clean it to minimal standard on my day off so I have time to take the kids to the park before it gets too hot out. I'm in a ton of physical pain from health issues, but I need to push my kiddo on his little trike and see the older two do their tree climbing and sitting at a picnic table to have popsicles.
I'm not sure how we are going to rearrange our schedules once daycare and school starts.
Big empathy hugs. I don't know how, but we will all make it.
I get home in time to say goodnight and hope there is dinner leftovers for me, and I leave in the morning with enough time to wake the kids and do the minimum routine of what's needed before I get out the door. I try to call the kids during lunch and see if they're okay and do they want me to bring home anything specific (i.e. candy for the next day), but it's a coin flip if I'll get to talk to them. Their dad leaves before I do and gets back earlier but he immediately has the dinner/baths/one house chore time to do anything. Today was the first time he and I have spent actual time together in just over three weeks. I cried last weekend while rushing to get home after groceries (pick: home for bedtime or miss it to get what we need after work) and told my husband I haven't been a mom in two straight weeks.
I only have time to care for myself every two or three days, for an hour maybe, because I skip another bedtime or I skip dinner to do it. The house is a wreck, I speed clean it to minimal standard on my day off so I have time to take the kids to the park before it gets too hot out. I'm in a ton of physical pain from health issues, but I need to push my kiddo on his little trike and see the older two do their tree climbing and sitting at a picnic table to have popsicles.
I'm not sure how we are going to rearrange our schedules once daycare and school starts.
Big empathy hugs. I don't know how, but we will all make it.
pinetowntree
New member
@artg You forgot about the part where everything they eat needs to be farm fresh and cared by the hands of angels with no added sugars.
We hear you! And we’re here…it all will pass. YOU GOT THIS! I bribe mine like there is no tomorrow, I call it deal time. I say you want to make a deal? And that is the sign of. I get what I want and you what you want. Perfect? No but efficient. We all pave our way and improvise
We hear you! And we’re here…it all will pass. YOU GOT THIS! I bribe mine like there is no tomorrow, I call it deal time. I say you want to make a deal? And that is the sign of. I get what I want and you what you want. Perfect? No but efficient. We all pave our way and improvise
christianjackie
New member
kokavkrystallos
New member
@artg
You have a 3 and 6 year old. They can both contribute in their own ways to getting stuff done around the house.
My 21 month old has been helping me with the laundry today. We have stacked front loading machines. She put the dirty clothes into the washer while I sorted and told her what pile to grab from. Then, she pulled all the wet clothes out of the washer and handed them to me so that I could put them into the dryer.
Yes, it takes longer, but 15 minutes spent together doing a chore is quicker than 5 minutes doing the chores yourself then 15 minutes of your kid boring you with details about Minecraft while you're thinking about what else is on your list.
The earlier you start involving your kids in the chores, the easier it is for them to learn how to do the chores without supervision.
You have a 3 and 6 year old. They can both contribute in their own ways to getting stuff done around the house.
My 21 month old has been helping me with the laundry today. We have stacked front loading machines. She put the dirty clothes into the washer while I sorted and told her what pile to grab from. Then, she pulled all the wet clothes out of the washer and handed them to me so that I could put them into the dryer.
Yes, it takes longer, but 15 minutes spent together doing a chore is quicker than 5 minutes doing the chores yourself then 15 minutes of your kid boring you with details about Minecraft while you're thinking about what else is on your list.
The earlier you start involving your kids in the chores, the easier it is for them to learn how to do the chores without supervision.
@kokavkrystallos When you only have one kid there is just no concept of lacking undivided attention because basically every interaction is one on one. Two young kids both needing attention means shared chores can blow up in your face if you don't prioritize their individual attention. So I just took her comment to be describing how you can't be productive if the kids don't feel like they're getting the right kind of attention. It's not as easy as getting them to load the washer with you.
windshepherd1
New member
@artg I feel you OP, your feelings are definitely valid.
The biggest struggle for me is acknowledging I can’t do it all. We might have a week of cooking healthy meals and no takeout, but that week also consisted of being behind on dishes and a messy kitchen because we cooked so much. Or maybe I was a rockstar at work, but felt like I had hardly any quality time with the family.
One thing that’s important is having friends who understand. I’ve gotten closer to a couple working mom friends and it’s helped having friends to vent to or for ideas on ways to improve, etc. I’ve started weekly early morning weekend walks with these friends and it’s been an amazing decompressor (physical activity, stress relief, vent session)
The biggest struggle for me is acknowledging I can’t do it all. We might have a week of cooking healthy meals and no takeout, but that week also consisted of being behind on dishes and a messy kitchen because we cooked so much. Or maybe I was a rockstar at work, but felt like I had hardly any quality time with the family.
One thing that’s important is having friends who understand. I’ve gotten closer to a couple working mom friends and it’s helped having friends to vent to or for ideas on ways to improve, etc. I’ve started weekly early morning weekend walks with these friends and it’s been an amazing decompressor (physical activity, stress relief, vent session)
yup@artg Yeah I get up early(5a) during the week so I just started getting up that time during the weekend to help catch up on the cleaning also. I plan& make the meals on the weekends. My husband grew up on frozen meals, I HATE them! So he’s scrounging for easy & quick meals for himself & daughter. Making meals includes planning & food shopping. I like to eat fresh “home cooked”meals. It’s a hassle. But anyways I prioritize what needs to get done then I tackle them.
