If you have 1 SAHP and 1 Parent working full time…

[fight4faith]

@akdamar I feel like the job title has gotten misconstrued. Stay At Home Parent. Your "job" is taking care of the child/children. That's it! That's the job. And it's a huge one. Taking care of kids is physically, and emotionally draining AF. The cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, errands are all separate duties. Can the SAHP take on a few of these tasks? Sure, but anything done outside of child rearing is taking away from the original job. Why are most SAHP drowning??!! Because we added a TON of extra work.

 

[wren84]

@akdamar We absolutely split things. Once a week we do a deep clean and everyone helps. My husband does daily tidying and dishes, cooks changes diapers when he isn’t working. I think it’s ridiculous if you have to ask for help to shower. He should be taking the baby so you can.

 

[marisasa]

@akdamar The best thing I did as a SAHP was to hand off bed time to my husband. Now (almost) every night he deals with bath/stories/bed while I relax or work on house stuff.

 

[yaoshi]

@akdamar I’m a SAHP and spouse works full time. My kids are both in school now, but before, I essentially did as much as I could when he was working. I tried to keep the house tidy (near-impossible with babies and toddlers) and did meal prep or errands when possible. As soon as he was off work, we split everything fairly. Some days, I needed a break as soon as he got off, and some days, he needed the break. We looked at it from the standpoint that we were a team. Clear, calm and honest communication was key.

 

[back2thebible2]

@akdamar We don't have a formal system in place, but generally we aim to ensure each parent has equal downtime. I try to tidy as I go all day, so there's not a huge back up of dishes and clutter by dinner time. I have an hour and a half in the afternoon where the kids nap, and I get the kitchen cleaned, laundry put away, and maybe 1-2 other cleaning chores.

When my husband gets home from work, we eat dinner and then he takes over parenting while I clean up dinner, start a load of laundry, tidy the toys, and rotate through sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming (I do one every day). He'll do bathtime, brush their teeth, and get them into bed and read a story while I'm cleaning.

Most days, I finish up cleaning right as he finishes getting the kids down. Then we each have two hours to do whatever we want before we go to bed. Some days the kids are tough, and I jump in and help with bedtime. Some days the house is a real wreck, and he will come finish the cleaning with me. Neither of us clocks out until the kids are asleep and the house is clean.

 

[bcraig_6973]

@akdamar Sahm with full time husband. I do everything including cooking etc before 5 . After 5 he usually dose chore like laundry and washing dishes and I do childcare or vice versa . Washing the kid is usually me unless I am exhausted. Night shifts are me because he has to work next day .

On the weekend he dose main childcare and I do other chores etc. we would swap if we have our own chores we need to do etc. this way he bonds with kid and I get a break to do chores. We usually don’t cook on weekend to get a break

 

[robertthompson]

@akdamar On a normal/ideal day my husband comes home at 5, i already have dinner ready. We eat dinner. After dinner I leave him with the kids to have showers and get ready for bed (if he is going to be home late I'll shower them before dinner). During this time I go and workout for an hour. Once I'm done we put the kids to bed, he does the 4 year old while I settle the toddler. Then we rush to get the dishes done and house reset. Then we chill for 2 hours before we have a shower together and go to bed ourselves. It's a full on routine but we are both happy to work like mad and have those couple of hours of proper free time in the evenings.

We don't split hairs when it comes to who does what chores. I don't like vacuuming so he does it. I love doing laundry so that my job. He's a tradesman so house projects tend to fall on his shoulders. I love cooking so meal planning and shopping is my job. Money stresses me out so he's the one keeping an eye on our budget, keeping me on a need to know basis.

 

[naly]

@akdamar My kids are in a preschool program (working parents idea) that’s 3 hours 4 days for the 1yo and 5 for the 4yo. So that’s when I generally get a break and much needed adult only interaction. So when my husband gets home from work we both hang with the kids. They are off in the summers so I generally hand the kids off when he gets home for an hour or 2 to relax or prep dinner by myself. The kids have been home sick all week so he took them on a fun adventure for a couple of hours this afternoon so I could have some downtime. He also woke up early with the kids this morning because I woke up early yesterday. My husband is very hands on and ridiculously helpful which sadly I have learned from Reddit is a uncommon