@glenwoodinncc Looking back, I think I gradually moved away from habitual swearing years before I ever thought of starting a family. I think that's just a part of growing up.
Note the qualifier, though: habitual. Swear words have their place in the language. It's just that that place isn't “liberally sprinkled over everything one says”. I'm teaching that it's perfectly fine to swear if you truly have something to swear about, and if the severity of the word used is proportional to the situation.
@glenwoodinncc My brother in law (my wife’s sister’s husband) is a douche bag. He curses all the time, include at my sister in law (who is a saint) and I’ve heard their kids scream curse words and insults at their mom almost everytime I’ve been with them. The last time my wife’s niece, age 7, was fighting with her mom and called her a “fat bitch.” Shes not doing that organically, she’s repeating fighting words that she hears dad call mom.
I’m not allowed to confront him about it because of a mama Corleone “Santino , don’t interfere” type attitude her family has.
@glenwoodinncc I don't care. Kid is 2. Says some bad words sometimes. He's also smart and well adjusted and as respectful as a 2 yr old can be. As long as those things don't change, I could care less if he lets some cuss words fly at home or in public.
@glenwoodinncc Last year my 2 year old went to a playground with a bunch of older kids there maybe 8-10. ALL of them were swearing and using fuck in every opportunity. It was gross, and from then on mom and I promised to try our best not to swear in front of him. 1 year in, so far so good.
@glenwoodinncc I sweat all the time. It's an absolute hassle.
We swear like sailors in this house. I don't care if my 3 year old who is learning to talk repeats it and other people hear it because we correct it immediately. We have a 1 year old we'll do the same for.
My oldest is almost 8, and I explained to him that there's certain words only adults can say, and those are curse words. Just like there's certain drinks only adults can have (beer), or certain things only adults can do (drive) etc.
When he's an adult, he can do all of that stuff. And he was cool with that explanation.
@glenwoodinncc It took a while, but I got in the habit of saying “fart” instead of “fuck”. “GD” instead of “god damnit”. “Baloney” instead of “bullshit” (which is extra fun because I like to ask people if they want bread and cheese to go with that baloney).
My moments of frustration are punctuated with such gems as “MOTHERFARTER”, “FARTIN GEEDEE!” and I have, in moments of traffic frustration, yelled “YOU FARTIN BALONEY LOANER!”
@glenwoodinncc My wife's family is much more old-fashioned (her brother laughed with a bit of nervousness when my wife said "ass"). I don't swear a ton but I don't have a great filter, so I feel like at some point I'll swear in front of the toddler, he'll repeat it with his cousins, and... anything from a stern talking to or a shunning.
1) Teach your kids time and place. Eddi they know when they can curse she when they can't.
2) pretend - no one is perfect but when your kids are watching they are learning so pretend to be perfect. Pretend to talk dignified pretended to always be calm and react in a positive way. Put on a show for your kids to emulate and they will copy.
@glenwoodinncc We don't swear in front of our kids. I just use other words like Jiminy Cricket and Son of a Biscuit and Ah Sugar. Sometimes, I'll say fudgeicles (not fudgesicles, but fudgeicles).
It works because you can still exclaim without saying words they ought not repeat.
I slammed my shin against my truck door hard enough to draw blood and just yelled "son of a biscuit". You get used to doing it by habit.
@glenwoodinncc I swear all the time when I'm not in front of my kids. But I'm almost certain I never have within earshot of either of my children (my oldest is almost 4). It doesn't require that much self control.
@glenwoodinncc I sweat constantly. I'm not in the best shape but my sister is arguably in way worse shape than I am but I still probably sweat like 5x as much as her. It's awful.
But as far as swearing, it was just sort of... natural? I want to take care of them as much as possible, and have them grow up in as wholesome and caring and healthy and non-toxic an environment as possible. And even though I believe and agree that swearing is fine and in no way some moral problem, I still... feel like I should swear less around them?
@glenwoodinncc I think it’s way too late. He’s heard me say “fuck” 20 times a day since he was born. I told him yesterday that he “shit the big one” while changing him. He immediately parroted it back to me and I lost it laughing. Now it’s his new catchphrase. What can ya do.
