@galdrun I'm 31 weeks with a 2 time rainbow baby (ruptured ectopic and a miscarriage), I don't think that I've ever experienced "excitement" and bliss. I am cautiously hopeful, but I know me, and I know that I won't feel any sort of bliss until the moment she is safely in my arms and we are both alive. Until then, I just feel like I'm in a holding pattern, patiently waiting. I don't think there is anything wrong with it personally, each person is different. Although I feel bad that I can't get anywhere near matching my MILs energy on the topic, she is ecstatic, but she also doesn't know that this is my third pregnancy, not my first. Don't feel too much pressure to feel any certain way, or feel like you aren't feeling the way you are "supposed" to feel. We're all different and process things differently!
@auhow This was me too! I lost 3 before my boy now. One I was far enough along to know it was a girl and have the excitement of having a girl. When I found out my rainbow baby was a boy, I was heart broken. I did have excitement, I was afraid I wouldn't love him. He's 2 months old and I can't imagine anyone else. I love him so much, from the minute I held him.
OP You're entitled to your feelings, they are valid and there is nothing wrong with them. You may never be excited during your pregnancy and that's okay! It doesn't mean you would be excited when baby is here!
OP You're entitled to your feelings, they are valid and there is nothing wrong with them. You may never be excited during your pregnancy and that's okay! It doesn't mean you would be excited when baby is here!
audreykate
New member
@galdrun I got excited with my double rainbow baby around 20 weeks at the anatomy scan. It felt like it was safe to do so then and still stuff can happen but the scan mixed with feeling her move let me breathe a little. She’s currently 4 days old in my arms! Enjoy the journey and congrats! I know how hard losing babies is..
iaworkshop
New member
@galdrun Hi love! Writing to you as a 32 week pregnant, mom of 3 angels (twin miscarriage and a full term stillbirth). When I got pregnant with this baby boy (after losing our daughter in March) it really, really helped to tell myself.. "I don't get to have control of this pregnancy, I will do everything i can to make sure baby boy comes happy and healthy but I ultimately do not have control." With that being said I decided whatever time I get with this little guy, whether it be days, months or a lifetime, I'm going to enjoy! I will talk to him, sing to him, read to him, rub my belly etc.. I want those to all be happy moments I will cherish forever, and not fill those spaces with fear and negative thoughts. Thinking back to my daughter I did all those things, but I didn't realize how special those moments would be and that they were the only ones we'd have. I'm so glad I enjoyed them without fear. So while I can't help you limit the fear/anxiety (I think it's natural) just enjoy every moment you can. If you waste them on the negative thoughts, then they won't be happy moments. All the happy moments no matter what they look like are special, you are growing your baby!
@galdrun I don't know that I have the answer to that but I am also pregnant with our rainbow baby after a loss earlier last year (this baby will be born right around the time we lost the last one). It took us a long time to get pregnant and I had a few chemicals along the way. I'm 24w5d and I still stress and worry. I think that's normal after any loss. For me, thankfully, my losses were all early first trimester but I still feel scared to buy things for the baby just in case. I can say though, now at almost 25 weeks with the anatomy scan and NIPT done and no issues found, I do feel a lot better. I know anything could happen but the chances are much lower.
ilovegod777
New member
@galdrun Exactly everything you said is true. We struggled with infertility and are older first time parents, so there was a risk the whole pregnancy.
Every milestone was something to be excited about and brought relief. Also once baby’s movements had a pattern brought lots of excitement: after putting headphones on the belly, eating or drinking something cold, baby hiccups, etc. Even though the hiccups always started when I’d lay down to go to sleep and were annoying as heck, it was also a way to feel connected to baby and like I needed to comfort him in utero. Now that he’s here, he gets hiccups a couple times a day and I still try to sooth and comfort him through them.
Every milestone was something to be excited about and brought relief. Also once baby’s movements had a pattern brought lots of excitement: after putting headphones on the belly, eating or drinking something cold, baby hiccups, etc. Even though the hiccups always started when I’d lay down to go to sleep and were annoying as heck, it was also a way to feel connected to baby and like I needed to comfort him in utero. Now that he’s here, he gets hiccups a couple times a day and I still try to sooth and comfort him through them.
@galdrun I think it's different for everyone. For me the blissful feeling never came back after my first pregnancy, but that's ok. After a 9 week miscarriage and a 22 week still birth I'm feeling genuinely excited just now at 34 weeks! I was very hesitant to schedule baby showers because I was just trying to take this pregnancy one day at a time, but I'm glad now I forced myself to do it.
@galdrun 19wks with my double rainbow. I forget I’m pregnant too… I had a moment of excitement around 15wks when I started feeling the movement flutters, bought a couple onesies and blankets and then I just haven’t thought about him. I have a 2 year old that we conceived first try and she was a healthy baby… I was telling my husband this past weekend I wish I was blissfully naive like I was with our daughter. I get sad sometimes that I just don’t think about or seem happy? during this pregnancy.
@galdrun I have three older kids with my ex and now im pregnant with my second husband. We tried for 3 years and had 3 losses and now I've hit 12.5 weeks. I think this week I've finally gotten used to feeling like it's "real"...we saw baby and a heartbeat on an ultrasound at 9 weeks and I'm feeling what I'm certain is movement. I think I'm ready to be excited.
@galdrun The anatomy scan results for me, I was a nervous wreck up until I received my results! Also when she began kicking, I couldn’t believe I had something growing in me that could do that I wish I was able to let the whole world feel her I was so excited lol I’m 23 weeks now and just taking it all in!!
@galdrun I think I wasn’t able to get excited until this week- and I’m at 30weeks.
I was really stressed out about my mat leave and how things were going to go at work, but we finally figured it out and my boss and I are on the same page. From about 24-30 weeks, I WANTED to be excited (since we’d passed major milestones and all those scary tests) but still had too many things in the air to relax.
Looking forward to enjoying the next 9 weeks as much as possible!!!
I was really stressed out about my mat leave and how things were going to go at work, but we finally figured it out and my boss and I are on the same page. From about 24-30 weeks, I WANTED to be excited (since we’d passed major milestones and all those scary tests) but still had too many things in the air to relax.
Looking forward to enjoying the next 9 weeks as much as possible!!!
brookehogan
New member
@galdrun After 4 miscarriages and 5 years later, I’m 38 weeks today with my second.
I’m not excited. I’m still in fear of losing this child. I may feel excited when she’s out in my arms but I might still be in fear something might happen to her after she’s out. I think everyone’s experience will be different. I hope you find excitement!
I’m not excited. I’m still in fear of losing this child. I may feel excited when she’s out in my arms but I might still be in fear something might happen to her after she’s out. I think everyone’s experience will be different. I hope you find excitement!