@galdrun I'm 31 weeks with a 2 time rainbow baby (ruptured ectopic and a miscarriage), I don't think that I've ever experienced "excitement" and bliss. I am cautiously hopeful, but I know me, and I know that I won't feel any sort of bliss until the moment she is safely in my arms and we are both alive. Until then, I just feel like I'm in a holding pattern, patiently waiting. I don't think there is anything wrong with it personally, each person is different. Although I feel bad that I can't get anywhere near matching my MILs energy on the topic, she is ecstatic, but she also doesn't know that this is my third pregnancy, not my first. Don't feel too much pressure to feel any certain way, or feel like you aren't feeling the way you are "supposed" to feel. We're all different and process things differently!
@auhow This was me too! I lost 3 before my boy now. One I was far enough along to know it was a girl and have the excitement of having a girl. When I found out my rainbow baby was a boy, I was heart broken. I did have excitement, I was afraid I wouldn't love him. He's 2 months old and I can't imagine anyone else. I love him so much, from the minute I held him.
OP You're entitled to your feelings, they are valid and there is nothing wrong with them. You may never be excited during your pregnancy and that's okay! It doesn't mean you would be excited when baby is here!
OP You're entitled to your feelings, they are valid and there is nothing wrong with them. You may never be excited during your pregnancy and that's okay! It doesn't mean you would be excited when baby is here!
audreykate
New member
@galdrun I got excited with my double rainbow baby around 20 weeks at the anatomy scan. It felt like it was safe to do so then and still stuff can happen but the scan mixed with feeling her move let me breathe a little. She’s currently 4 days old in my arms! Enjoy the journey and congrats! I know how hard losing babies is..
iaworkshop
New member
@galdrun Hi love! Writing to you as a 32 week pregnant, mom of 3 angels (twin miscarriage and a full term stillbirth). When I got pregnant with this baby boy (after losing our daughter in March) it really, really helped to tell myself.. "I don't get to have control of this pregnancy, I will do everything i can to make sure baby boy comes happy and healthy but I ultimately do not have control." With that being said I decided whatever time I get with this little guy, whether it be days, months or a lifetime, I'm going to enjoy! I will talk to him, sing to him, read to him, rub my belly etc.. I want those to all be happy moments I will cherish forever, and not fill those spaces with fear and negative thoughts. Thinking back to my daughter I did all those things, but I didn't realize how special those moments would be and that they were the only ones we'd have. I'm so glad I enjoyed them without fear. So while I can't help you limit the fear/anxiety (I think it's natural) just enjoy every moment you can. If you waste them on the negative thoughts, then they won't be happy moments. All the happy moments no matter what they look like are special, you are growing your baby!
@galdrun I don't know that I have the answer to that but I am also pregnant with our rainbow baby after a loss earlier last year (this baby will be born right around the time we lost the last one). It took us a long time to get pregnant and I had a few chemicals along the way. I'm 24w5d and I still stress and worry. I think that's normal after any loss. For me, thankfully, my losses were all early first trimester but I still feel scared to buy things for the baby just in case. I can say though, now at almost 25 weeks with the anatomy scan and NIPT done and no issues found, I do feel a lot better. I know anything could happen but the chances are much lower.
