@topshot I feel the same. I think about it and I’m like how could I handle a newborn and a kid in kindergarten. How could I function, get my one up for school and be able to also work on zero sleep. How could I take care of the one I currently have if I also have a baby that’s completely dependent on me. I would get zero breaks. I would be exhausted 24/7.
@vitality When I realised I had HG not just 'normal' pregnancy sickness and then looked up the stats of getting it in a second pregnancy. Never again, thank you!
@cassmith I had morning sickness for a while with my first pregnancy, but it went away after a few weeks. I couldn’t ride in a car without getting sick. It wasn’t too horrible, just at night mainly.
But then the second time around I had severe HG, i couldn’t function. I lost 12 lbs in one month and got hospitalized twice in that one month as well. I was struggling to take care of the one I had. I had to make a tough decision and I knew that was when I was one and done. I thought to myself what if this lasts for the entire 9 months. I truly thought I was going to die. I wonder what caused me to have it the second time like that but not the first.
@samalematina How strange! Mine never went away, I literally vomited the baby and placenta out lol. I can't put my husband and myself through 9 months of that shit again
@vitality Before my husband and I got engaged, we had this talk. We decided on "maybe one". I'd stop taking certain chronic medicine and we'd see how that goes. If I got pregnant, great. If I didn't, we'd talk adoption or being child-free. We're both nearing 40 now, so no time for more children.
I knew I was one and done when I spent my first night as a mom in high care with machines yelling about my vital signs and my baby in a different room. I'm not chancing HELLP syndrome again. LO was born at 38/39 weeks, so he was and is fine.
@vitality We/I have been on the fence for a while. I didn't enjoy the baby stage AT ALL. I'm not a night person and never will be.
The lights went out Sunday morning at 2 AM. I sat up in bed to pitch black at this terrible hour with barely a little bit of moonlight creeping in. Then I imagined screaming, feeding a baby and trying to soothe said baby back to sleep. I very literally felt my heart rate increase and the anxiety creep in just thinking about it.
@vitality When we were at the airport leaving for our honeymoon and saw a couple with 4 young children. They were headed out to a beautiful tropical location so I'm assuming they were starting a vacay but they looked absolutely miserable and irritated trying to manage those kids.
@vitality I may not being able to even get my kid into infant daycare right now which is $2k a month so am looking at $3-4k in cost for a nanny. Currently 31 weeks.
For that reason, much when the lines were positive or even before when I saw leaning childfree I thought if my husband is dying to have a kid we’d just do one. (He was a fencesitter and then our surprise pregnancy happened.)
@vitality When I got into my second trimester of pregnancy and was still really sick and in constant pain. The decision has just been reinforced over and over since then.
@vitality Honestly, there are times where I still think I would like 2, mostly because of how much I love my daughter, but my husband was firmly OAD before she was born and having her only locked that down. He's a good dad and husband, but the change in our lives from becoming parents was really hard for him (not that it was easy for me) and he feels like his mental health couldn't handle a second kid.
The times where I think I would want another are fewer and farther between as I start to have more time for my hobbies and my marriage and I think about how if we had another I'd lose that for another couple of years.
