@vitality Just recently. Our son is 3.5 now. He has a speech delay and I’ve had anxiety about that for a while. He goes to speech therapy and has been for over a year. We’ve been working on the concepts we learned in therapy, at home too. He’s been making progress but still hasn’t caught up. Spoke with a developmental pediatrician and got him evaluated for ASD. We ruled that out (we’re not out of the woods yet though, he will be going to a special preschool classroom starting next week so they want to see if peer interaction will help him come out of his shell first and help with his speech. If he’s not making any progress, we will have to visit that diagnoses.) We’re probably going to get a second opinion elsewhere. We think he would benefit from extra support in addition to speech therapy. We’ll see what happens. Even though he’s made great progress, we feel like he still needs that additional help.
It’s been a rollercoaster. I can’t imagine devoting this much time to another child. Parenting is the most challenging thing I’ve done or gone through so far, and that’s saying something. Husband and I decided to be one and done so we can pour all of our time and resources to him, beside ourselves and one another. That’s the main reason. Other reasons are that I love my sleep too much and I do not want to go through sleep regressions again. Also I don’t want to go through potty training again. Potty training our son actually wasn’t that bad so imagine if it’s a challenge with the next one.
@amy2233 I’m sure it’s absolutely nerve racking having to go through with that with your son I’m sorry. I know just in general parenting is so stressful, anytime my kid gets sick I get so worried. I’m constantly worrying about everything when it comes to her. I don’t think I can handle a double dose of it.
I can’t imagine going through the newborn stage and zero sleep again. It was absolutely wonderful when she finally started sleeping through the night, why would I want to do it all over again. I literally can to function if I don’t get enough sleep, I’ll be nauseas all day long and can barely eat.
@samalematina Same! I definitely don’t want to go through that sleep deprivation stage again. I’m so happy to hear that your daughter is sleeping through the night!! Yeah I definitely understand that feeling!
@vitality Fencesitter leaning more OAD but the decision was made when my husband said he was so happy with our family and didn't need more children to feel complete.
@vitality I got an email reminding me to either pay storage for my remaining embryo at the fertility clinic and it was the same day I was picking up my new horse … basically like yup this is the new life. But also when my first baby died and then I also got gestational hypertension with my 2nd, so likely to have recurrences with 3.
@vitality The moment that the nurses in maternity stopped being kind and started acting like I was a burden and that I was being too loud for the other patients.
@therese1234 That is so shitty I’m sorry. I’ve heard of so many horrible experiences with labor and delivery nurses/doctors. It’s awful how it’s such a common occurrence.
My husband has been OAD for awhile and we have a huge list of reasons but I still wasn’t sure. About a year ago I ended up getting pregnant again and right from the start I was unsure about it. I was concerned about the changes it would bring and if we could handle it. I ended up miscarrying somewhere between 7 and 8 weeks. It sounds really silly but right after I found out I was pregnant I had a dream that we were having a girl (we already have a boy) so I was convinced it was a girl. But because of all that I sorta feel like we “had” our second. That was our second and our girl so now I’m done. Since then I’ve been 100% OAD too.
@vitality Mine was having a toddler with sensory meltdowns constantly starting at 2.5. after over 2 years of therapy twice a week and and help from school we finally have a little peace. I was so stressed for that entire time, never again.
@samalematina She would be very upset all the time when in public especially with bright fluorescent lighting. And not just crying, full kick, scream until she made her self throw up! She was scared of the smallest sounds like a phone vibrating or a bell dinging. She just always acted like she was in fight or flight constantly. It was heartbreaking.
@captainrogers20 Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry your child is having to go through that. I know as a parent we worry and stress about everything when it comes to them. It hurts us when they hurt.
Mine randomly freaks out about someone touching her or the way certain clothes feel. She likes super tight clothes that are often too small. Sometimes she’s fine and sometimes she gets upset about that. So I’ve been wondering if someone is off. So not sure if it’s just her being cranky because she’s tired or hungry.
@samalematina I would definitely bring it up to her pediatrician. My daughter is doing much better now, she has her moments especially when tired but she's in kinder now thriving.
@vitality I was always pretty sure from conception onward but the day I peed my pants while vomiting at work and had to walk out of the building having obviously wet myself while crying in embarrassment really sold it for me.
My husband was definitively OAD when my epidural failed while I was pushing and I started screaming because all the sensation returned during the ring of fire. He told me hearing me in that much pain made him sick to his stomach and he never wanted to hear it again if he could help it.
Recovery was also brutal and I literally didn't even tear. Doing it with an actual tear or a c section? 1000000% no. Absolutely no.
@vitality I was never sure I wanted a baby, but my husband ALWAYS wanted to be a father. I didn’t feel pressure but I felt pressure. Pressure for myself as well. How long could I not have another focus?
Decided I wanted one baby when I was 40. I’d tell everyone that after 37. I had a great (minus a few snags) pregnancy, a decent delivery, and an out of this world cute AND great baby (at 40). Still was a lot to give up personally and I’m slightly selfish. Maybe even harder when you’re almost TOO used to living how you want.
People ask me all the time if I want another bc he’s so great. Absolutely not. Lightening doesn’t strike twice.
So in short, I was decided on OAD before I got pregnant, and even more so with how lucky I got with the first.
