what is your bed sharing routine?

[triumphinchrist]

i bed share w my 9 month old and have since she was about 3/4 months. i love it and don’t have plans to move her to her own bed anytime soon. however, what i don’t love is the lack of freedom i have.

her bedtime is 8 and i have me time once she’s down... but me time is interrupted like every 20 minutes bc she doesn’t sleep well unless i’m there. meaning i have to stop eating dinner, stop cleaning, pause my show, whatever it is that i’m doing to go soothe her. i usually go to bed about 10/10:30.

what do you guys do to get your littles to stay asleep while you’re having me time? or do you go to bed the same time as them? if not, how do you keep them safe and from crawling off the bed while you’re out of the room?

 

[onthepathtogod]

@triumphinchrist Oof, that age is so rough, especially if they're working on mobility like standing, crawling, walking. I watched a lot of TV on my phone in bed with my little (wireless headphones in - Thank god for the Netflix show brightness level adjuster), or snuck away to stretch on the floor next to the bed. I got a lot of reading done on my Kindle paperwhite. I moved a nice chair into the bedroom and learned to be a little nocturnal and let the chores go. It does get better! My son started sleeping independently (after I ninja roll away) without waking constantly around 11 months but of course your mileage may vary. If you can recruit your partner as a warm body, that helps a ton. I tease my husband that he only sleeps with the baby so he can watch every single Marvel show alone, in peace, without seeing me roll my eyes at him. There's no better feeling than leaving the baby and your partner with a bottle of freshly pumped breastmilk and going out for a walk in the evening. Utterly alone. Total escape.

 

[emmy0922]

@onthepathtogod Ugh that solo evening walk sounds dreamy! I’m in the same stage as OP and unfortunately my baby doesn’t take a bottle. But that made me dream of the day that I can get things done for myself in the evenings!

 

[morgandeb]

@triumphinchrist Hi, I’m bedsharing with my 18 month old and we have since she was 3 months. 8/9 months is rough, massive growth spurt -> sleep regression. I used to swear my daughter knew every time I sat down on the couch to eat something or turn on a good tv show cuz she woke up immediately. I was up and down to her crying for months on end. Let me just tell you, it gets better. I know we all hate hearing that, but it’s true. Now at 18 months, my daughter goes to bed between 530/630 and if she wakes at all before I go to bed, it’s once.
I know it’s tiring, you’re doing great and made an incredible choice to cosleep

 

[claysmithr]

@triumphinchrist So we're only 5 months in and have been bed sharing since about 3 weeks. All naps and bed time has been "under supervision". So that leave very little time for my husband and I to be together. About 2 weeks ago we moved the baby to his nursery onto a full sized floor bed (with rails). I love it as I feel much better about leaving him on his own. But same issue with sleep cycles. He wakes every 30-40 min. We will start working on sleep associations and helping him fall asleep on his own. This morning nap he slept for a full 50 minutes before he woke up and needed attention.

 

[ema20]

@claysmithr Same here

 

[swaninthewilderness]

@claysmithr Hi! Where did you get a floor bed with rails? I’m looking to do the same with my little guy, he’s 8 mo and hates the crib for sleeping.

 

[claysmithr]

@swaninthewilderness this is the one we got. The rails gaps are pretty big so I have mesh crib liners. I bought these. 2 sets are needed to cover a full sized bed.

Edit: I bought a purple mattress as we did not have any extra mattresses lying around. The standard purple is only about 10 inches tall it seems firm enough for our purposes, and leaves about 9-11 inches of rail above it. Obviously the fatter your mattress the less rails you have.

 

[anzio]

@triumphinchrist Our LO is about 9months. We've bedshared since 4mo. It's only in the last month that he's started giving me some alone time in the evenings. He used to fuss every 30-45 mins unless I was there, but lately it's been every 2 hours.

I think the only thing that really helps is time and LO learning to sleep a bit more independently. He's still up every 2 - 3 hours all night for resettling but being in our bed makes this easier than having to get up every 2 hours.

We watch him super closely on our monitor when he's alone in there because I don't want him rolling or crawling out of bed when he's alone. We're planning to transition him to a floor bed in his own (baby proofed) room in the next few months so hopefully his independent sleep continues to improve when I can leave him a few minutes by himself without worrying he'll injure himself.

All to say solidarity and give it time.

 

[servantanna]

@triumphinchrist Echoing what others have said—we started bedsharing around 6 months and are approaching the year mark. Time definitely makes a difference! I didn’t used to be able to sneak away at all, but now if I want to ninja roll away after he’s asleep, it works best to wait about 20 minutes, at which point he typically stirs but will resettle without waking if I pet him. Then I’m clear for anywhere between 30-90 minutes, although most nights I elect to just stay in bed next to him and read on my phone (red light filter FTW) till my own bedtime, which is usually not too long after him since he still wakes up around 6:30 a.m. no matter how late I go to sleep. We also have a camera over our bed so I can keep an eye/ear on him when I’m not there—and we’ve more or less baby-proofed the room just in case he wakes and decides to start exploring before I notice. Hang in there; sounds like you’re doing everything right!

 

[presbyman]

@triumphinchrist I usually stay in bed with my 13 month old, but I did buy bed rails so I can sneak away if I need to.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08P49WQV...abc_2YGYW27GTSY6QCAG2KY2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1.

These have really been a lifesaver! Especially now that my toddler is so mobile.

 

[emmy0922]

@triumphinchrist I’ve got an 8 month old who I have been bed sharing with since she was a couple of weeks old. I typically get in bed with her when it’s her bedtime. Very rarely can I leave and not have her wake up 30 minutes later.

Her bedtime is 7 so I’m in bed with her for almost 11 hours every night. A loot of contact. I’m at my wits end! Your replies have made me hopeful’