We f***ed up. Ruined sleep trained baby

[belladonna]

@srjoanna I haven’t had to try this yet, but I saw something online about putting the sleep sack on backwards so the zipper is in the back.

 

[cass4kin]

@susanmlm I was lurking here looking for advice, fearing transitioning out of the crib. You gave good advice! But sometimes some kids are just too tall/acrobatic. My kid will be 2 in August, but is the height of an average 3-4 year old.

I agree 2 is young to transition out, but sometimes you just have to for safety.

 

[catfishman]

@srjoanna Hang in there! Like others mentioned there’s a huge sleep regression at 2. So likely there would have been struggle anyways. We are struggling with our 2 year old as well! Went from the perfect bedtime routine to fighting it the entire way. We will get back our good sleepers. They’re just older now and have more emotions and independent thoughts so it takes some adjusting.

 

[srjoanna]

@catfishman Make sense. Lots of changes. Hopefully they ll be back to there normal sleep loving selves

 

[dazytay]

@srjoanna Hang in there! There is a huge sleep regression at 24 months as they begin to realize their independence. Stay calm and kind but firm, and consistent. They will take their nap again and will get used to the new setting. Think about what it would feel like if for your entire life you slept in a bed and you suddenly had to sleep in a hammock every time. Be your kiddo's leader and remind them you are there with them and that you love them no matter what. Stay consistent and enforce your rules kindly, you will all figure it out together!! Good luck!

 

[jesussaves97]

@dazytay Is there? Is there really?! We are going through an awful period again of our LO waking up at 4 am and just starting him morning. No matter what we do he just doesn't go back down. Hearing there there is a sleep regression around now I very reassuring. I just stopped googling sleep regression because it seemed to me that whatever you type in (I.e. Sleep regression at 14, 15, 16... Etc. months) you will always get something. So if there genuinely is one at this stage that gives me hope .

 

[srjoanna]

@jesussaves97 Hey there! There are some big sleep regression ( due to schedule change needed, routine change needed, developmental, separation anxiety sometimes peak, learning new skills..) The rest should indicate some schedule and routine change needed. If you LO is waking up at night crying he might be over tired. What is your Lo s age and schedule?

 

[vel]

@srjoanna It happens. It’s not easy to stay religiously consistent. And you can create new habits and sleep associations in a couple of days. I would recommend using the chair method. So you tell him you are going to sit next to the bed. You’ll be right there. And then you gradually withdraw that support over several days. You can also try the “I’ll be back in 5 minutes” tactic. You keep leaving to do something and checking back in until they’re asleep.

For anyone wondering how to avoid this type of issue during the transition from crib to bed, you treat the room as the crib. Baby proof thoroughly and choose a method for securing the doorway. Then you do your usual sleep routine, put them down, and secure them in the room. Don’t worry about them exploring their freedom and getting out of bed. Just make sure there isn’t much for them to get into. Video monitors are super helpful for keeping an eye on them. My son fell asleep on the floor the first couple of nights and then we’d put him back in bed asleep. After that he just stayed in bed. This transition typically goes sideways because people go from crib to having access to the whole house. And/or they change the bedtime routine.

 

[aperella]

@srjoanna Is he super tired when it’s finally bed time? It sounds like it if it only takes him 5-10 min to fall asleep! I very recently moved my perfectly sleep trained 2 year olds to toddler beds and they cut naps all together. It was terrible at first and they’re still exhausted by the end of the day, but I’m slowly getting used to the no nap thing. Maybe it’s time

 

[esteban4545]

@srjoanna Just want to say it might have happened anyway (even if you didn't start cuddling him to sleep (and maybe you didn't mess anything up). My almost 3 year old was always an amazing sleeper. About 3 months ago he started having nightmares (we think), and screaming for us in the middle of the night. Shortly after that he refused to fall asleep alone in his room. He would stand at the door and cry and scream "Mommy I need you" (or Daddy, depending on who had put him down). Also refusing naps most days (or needs us to stay with him while he falls asleep for naps).

 

[bacsb00]

@esteban4545 Hi! What happened with your son? Going through something similar with my almost two year old. I think he had a bad dream a couple nights ago and now is scared to sleep alone

 

[esteban4545]

@bacsb00 I wish I had better news lol. Right now someone (me or my husband) lays with him in his room until he falls asleep (usually around 8, but occasionally as late as 10 or even 11 (if he naps that day or falls asleep in the car)). Then leaves the room for a few hours and goes back in when they're ready to sleep. We have tried not going back in to sleep with him but he usually wakes up and screams/cries 1-3 times a night if left alone. So it's easier to just sleep in there with him. We also have a newborn (and all this started when she was born). So we're all still in survival mode right now.

 

[bacsb00]

@esteban4545 Oh nooo I’m so sorry to hear this. I am 30 weeks pregnant so really hoping to get back to normal before the new baby is here

 

[ralfmartin]

@esteban4545 Yes came to say this. My kid went in and out of being sleep trained for the first 2 years. He seems to have settled into an amazing routine now, but we know to brace ourselves for the next phase!

 

[topgear]

@srjoanna My daughter loves to cuddle at nap and bed time. She will tell me when she wants me to leave, then go to sleep. They are only little once, maybe he enjoys it? Like a comfort thing?

 

[djuma]

@topgear This is what I tell myself every night he demands me to sit in the rocking chair while he lays in bed to fall asleep. 5/10 times I actually fall asleep too lol but they’re only young once and this too will pass.

 

[topgear]

@djuma My husband is gone a lot. So I think this is just a comfort thing for her. Doesn’t seem to disrupt her sleep (she’s been sleep trained since 7 months) so I just obliged. Brings us closer and helps wind me down too.

 

[pitch]

@srjoanna Is he just ready to drop his nap? Both my girls have been done with the daytime nap by age 2, and I could tell when the time was coming near as they started messing around at nap time and taking foreverrr to fall asleep- which then impacted on bedtime.

For what it’s worth, my 3yo had ALL her daytime naps with a cuddle for her whole life (Covid baby so we were both home all the time and liked the snuggles), and sleeps on her own at night. Don’t despair, they all get there in the end. You haven’t ruined your perfect baby, he’ll be fine.

 

[srjoanna]

@pitch Thanks! I was thinking the same since the tod is always have low sleep needs. I will try for another few days and after that I will let him drop nap. Question how do you prevent they going psycho by end of day without a nap?

 

[dannygater]

@srjoanna Are you going to look back at this time in 20 years and go “so glad we didn’t cuddle in bed with them and let them sleep on their own”
We moved into a house that needs a lot of work so currently we’re all in the master bedroom, our 2.5 yo falls asleep in our bed with us around 8 and when we come to bed we move her. Sometimes she comes back to sleep with us but last night she literally just walked into the bedroom from the living room and fell asleep on her own and it made me kind of sad because I didn’t get to say good night or read her a story or cuddle with her. They’re only this small for such a small fraction of their life, enjoy the time and cuddles while you have them