Trying for a baby as a young couple?

@mightynameofjesus My boyfriends mother had a similar situation. She was very young when she was told that she needed to have babies soon or it would never happen. She had my boyfriend around 20, and it worked out, but it was not easy for her. Her hard was significantly harder for it, but long term it was a big blessing.
 
@mightynameofjesus Before you make any decisions, get a second (or third) opinion on your fertility. If the recommendation from another doc is to start trying, then maybe you could wait 8-12 months to try. If you got pregnant right away, you'd be done with your studies before you gave birth, but you wouldn't be waiting the full 1.5 years.

You should consider if you're the type of student who would struggle to manage school while also feeling like crap (most pregnant women have a slew of unpleasant symptoms like exhaustion, nausea, and pain). Some people can handle it, others may not. And if you decide to get pregnant soon, I'd strongly consider how distracting a baby may be while you're trying to study.

One other thing: How would taking maternity leave affect your studies? Would you potentially forget some of what you learned and have to play catch up when you resumed coursework? If so, it may be easier to wait the 1-1.5 years so you aren't creating gaps in your learning or feeling like you're behind. You already have momentum because you're in school, so interrupting that with mat leave may make studying more stressful when you return from leave.

I think there is likely a compromise where you're still a young mom but you're closer to being done with school so you're not setting your learning or career back with pregnancy/a baby.

Oh, and one more thing: don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to be a young mom. Parenting is hard, and it presents different challenges when you're younger than when you're older, but there are also different benefits. I'm from the southern USA, and lots of people have babies young here. But it's pretty cool because lots of folks grow up knowing their great-grandparents and grandparents (sometimes even great-great-grandparents) because their relatives had babies young. You'll also recover faster and likely be able to physically handle sleep deprivation better. You may be less set in your ways as well.

Everything comes with tradeoffs. Talk to your hubby and doctor and see what feels right for you. Don't let strangers make your life decisions for you.
 
Back
Top