@garry25 So I am watching a Ted Talks about how to be a good father. The presenter gives a list of qualities of a father, some good, some bad. Presenter says "your father will have things from the good list and things from the bad list. Your job as a father, is to give as much from the good list as possible to your child."
I looked at the list, and it's confirming what I already know. My father only had qualities from the good list. I know many father's from our era were absent, but it wasn't the case for me. Sister in law was praising me yesterday about how she went through a list of father qualities, she says I got them all. Honestly though, the accomplishment for me, would be to be as good a father as my own father.
@starman80 What’s interesting about mine is his dad loves through money and working hard to provide whereas he provides but also focuses on love and cuddles and that’s something he never got from his dad, he’s actually has a strange respectful fear and shyness from his dad and watching him build his confidence to love her and not care who’s watching is beautiful.
@garry25 Maybe it's a guy thing. I have that respect for my father as well. When I was younger I suppose part of it was out of fear and shyness, but as I've grown older we're very open. I have great memories of my father taking me to picnics and outings.
My father just left an hour ago from visiting us, and before he left he gave everyone a hug. He's Chinese, hugging is not a common trait for a Chinese father. Nor is telling his adult kids how much he loves them, but he does. Maybe my father is just ahead of his time haha.
It's absolutely beautiful that your husband is growing that confidence to love your daughter as he wants to. Being parents sure is growing experience for sure
@garry25 I had a shitty father. I can say that now because I have the experience with my son to know just how shitty my father was. When he was newborn, I worried frequently that I'd turn out like my father, but this link helped me a lot. Just wanted to share for anyone else in my situation, you don't have to be your dad.
@garry25 I myself have a awesome Dad. But my boyfriend's first memories are seeing his Mom get slapped around by his Dad and getting arrested. Then step dad was an abusive bipolar a-hole til he was a teen. It makes me sad, but it made him who he is. And that he is the most hands-on, fully present, enthusiastic, sweetheart father to our daughter and son. That crappy generation of father's has evolved many wonderful dads
@garry25 My husband (30) and I (31) were just talking about this! We were saying how all of our friends are amazing and involved dads. Granted, most of us (not me) had great father figures.
I vowed to not have a deadbeat baby daddy for the same reasons as you, and my heart is full knowing my daughter has the father she deserves and the one I wish I had.
@garry25 My father is a narcissist who was emotionally abusive towards me, my brother and my mom. When I was a teenager I promised myself that I would rather have no children than let my child have a father like that. I consider the fact that my baby now has the greatest dad one of the biggest achievements of my life.
It only sometimes makes me a little bit sad that I as a child never got to experience how it is to have a loving dad but at least my child will know what it's like.
@garry25 My fiance never had a relationship with his dad and despises his step father so he strives to always have time with our son. My own father lived in different countries my entire life and I'd see him maybe 4-5 times a year, contact was on and off and he done some not to great things to my mother so I always wanted to make sure any father my babies had was a good man and I think I've succeeded.
