The moment you realize you’ve made it is when your baby will have the dad you didn’t
- Thread starter garry25
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@crevice Me too, I do therapy I’m constantly taking little pauses throughout the day to reflect and I changed my phone background to “patience “ and have sticky notes around the house in order to keep as calm as possible, my baby screams and I sleep 3-4 hours in a 24 hour period sometimes so patience is key, and redbull is my one vice even well breastfeeding lol.
@garry25 My dad was amazing, and my mom was everything to me but they both died (dad at 8, mom at 18). I tell my husband all the time we have to live a long life for our daughter. Present dads are so important ! My dads passing wrecked our family. I will never let me daughter experience that loneliness, watching her mom spiral into addiction, and fall into self hatred from “abandonment”. Guess I have to live until I’m 120! 
I’m so happy we’re learning from our parents mistakes it’s healing.@garry25 My husband is healing his childhood trauma by being the father he wished he had and it's really cool to see. He keeps a journal for our son to give to him when's he is an adult and the entries make me cry. Stuff about him, me, the dogs, his fears and success as a dad, our son as he is now, his hopes for the future. It's amazing. He's so involved and so loving. Cheers to these awesome Dads.
@garry25 I grew up with an emotionally absent father, who couldn’t hold a job or bear the responsibilities of having a family.
I swore I would never make my mom’s mistake in choosing a life partner. So I set my standards high for myself and for my future partner.
My husband is the most amazing person, partner and father to our little one. We have a truly blessed life and while I always envisioned and strived for this life, there are still frequent moments when I can’t believe how lucky I am.
I only just wish that my mom had an easier time as a young mom. She’s living her best life now, but I wish I could take away those years she wasted on my dad.
I swore I would never make my mom’s mistake in choosing a life partner. So I set my standards high for myself and for my future partner.
My husband is the most amazing person, partner and father to our little one. We have a truly blessed life and while I always envisioned and strived for this life, there are still frequent moments when I can’t believe how lucky I am.
I only just wish that my mom had an easier time as a young mom. She’s living her best life now, but I wish I could take away those years she wasted on my dad.
aganagapao
New member
@garry25 There's been a major attitude shift over time. My father never changed a diaper in his life and was never deeply involved in my care, and my mother now makes fun of me for being "obsessed" with my baby, carrying and wearing him, doing contact naps, playing with him too much, spoiling him, etc. She says I'm too "motherly" of a dad. She means that in a teasing or demeaning way, but I take it as a compliment.
@aganagapao lol my in laws tell mine to “stop rubbing her back so much” and I tell him in private to do what ever the fuck he wants with HIS baby lol. I remind him that no baby every died from being to loved. They get like uncomfortable and I think almost jealous what thing him constantly snuggling. But hey it’s your babe you be as motherly as you want/need to be even if they are just teasing.
evanlooksuptothealmighty
New member
@garry25 Amen 
my dad is a piece of shit, completely uninvolved unless treating us like his own personal little slaves.
My husband on the other hand is the most incredible father I have ever seen. He told me through all of this it would be 50/50 and he meant every word. We are starting to night wean our one year old, so he brought our camper out of storage and has been sleeping with our son and taking the whole night shift (otherwise he screams for boob all night
) for one of the many examples.
It’s honestly kinda healing and validating. It wasn’t a me problem, it was a problem with my dad. He could’ve chosen to be a wonderful, involved father but he chose to be an abusive, neglectful asshole
my dad is a piece of shit, completely uninvolved unless treating us like his own personal little slaves. My husband on the other hand is the most incredible father I have ever seen. He told me through all of this it would be 50/50 and he meant every word. We are starting to night wean our one year old, so he brought our camper out of storage and has been sleeping with our son and taking the whole night shift (otherwise he screams for boob all night
) for one of the many examples.It’s honestly kinda healing and validating. It wasn’t a me problem, it was a problem with my dad. He could’ve chosen to be a wonderful, involved father but he chose to be an abusive, neglectful asshole
@evanlooksuptothealmighty Oh god the boob screams are intense, god bless him for owning up to the task that’s weirdly sweet from one bf mom to the next congrats on your year of being a moo merchant. 
@evanlooksuptothealmighty Yeah mine decided being a junky and a rat was more important than even acknowledging his children.
trivialator
New member
@garry25 Yes, yes, yes, yes!
My husband grew up in a very .. traditional gender roles kind of family. His mom would definitely tell me to cook and change the diapers while he reads the newspaper. And he sometimes says things that catch me off guard. For example, he comes into the kitchen as I’m washing dishes and says, “what are you doing!? A lady’s hands must never touch a dirty dish.” Or “I hope you’re not thinking that you’ll ever touch a poopy diaper” when I was pregnant. Lmao.
In reality I do wash dishes and change diapers, we both do, and I absolutely adore seeing him be such a good dad. So refreshing.
My husband grew up in a very .. traditional gender roles kind of family. His mom would definitely tell me to cook and change the diapers while he reads the newspaper. And he sometimes says things that catch me off guard. For example, he comes into the kitchen as I’m washing dishes and says, “what are you doing!? A lady’s hands must never touch a dirty dish.” Or “I hope you’re not thinking that you’ll ever touch a poopy diaper” when I was pregnant. Lmao.
In reality I do wash dishes and change diapers, we both do, and I absolutely adore seeing him be such a good dad. So refreshing.
heirbornmusic
New member
@garry25 I literally tear up when I see my partner (dad-to-be) get so excited about my pregnancy. He's insisting on coming to every single appointment and wants to start buying our daughter things ASAP. We are going thrifting for some baby clothes this weekend to scratch his itch lol. His dad was abusive until he eventually left. He gets to be the dad he never had, and I'm so excited to raise this kid with him.
@heirbornmusic That sounds so fun, men secretly love baby clothes mine puts her boys dinosaur onesies he thinks Is “so pretty” and loves it lol