Should I tell my parents I was raped?

[katrina2017]

@chesney I am so sorry. I didn’t tell my parents because I knew hearing something shitty from them would make it so so much worse for me. Still have never told them to this day.
I pray I will be approachable for my daughter so she can tell me anything.
OP my heart breaks for you and you deserve support. Please confide in someone you trust, you don’t owe your parents anything. Only tell them if it will help You. Wishing you all the healing in the world.

 

[thecsw]

@chesney I have parents and in-laws on the conservative side, and they for sure would want to know and would be supportive. Giving your mother the benefit of the doubt, she might have meant that tinder dates are dangerous, but you know her better than I do.

 

[whiteorchid]

@chesney I would want to know. As a mother I want my children to feel they can tell me anything and I will always be there for them. I want to celebrate their Joy's and hold them in their trials/pain.
I'm so so sorry this happened to you, I know your pain all too well.
I know I'm a stranger but I'm sending you positive vibes, peace, and comfort and a big mom hug I wish I could do more

 

[newcalvin]

@chesney I would want to know and would NEVER blame my daughter. I am so sorry that happened to you.

 

[elsbred]

@chesney Just want to throw it out there - you don't have to tell her it was from a Tinder date. You could just say it was a date. She may ask, but it's still your choice to tell her whichever details you would like to share.

Ultimately, I think you need to listen to your gut and heart and ask yourself if you will heal better if they know. Only you can know that.

I'm so very sorry this happened to you, but like others said, it's not your fault and you were absolutely not "asking for it" - I understand the generational differences at play, and I would hope your mom would come to see things through a new light if she learned about your situation.

Know that you're not alone. Sadly, there are many of us out there in shoes like yours. We stand with you.

 

[elsbred]

To add to this - I ended up telling my older brother in a letter. I didn't tell my mom for years. For me, I'm not sure it would have helped if I told her sooner. She's extremely supportive and understanding, but it just wasn't what I personally needed. I had friends through it, and that's all I needed at the time. It was tough, and I went through a phase of bad choices and depression, but I eventually met a man I could trust, and now, 11 years later, we have a daughter.

On the other hand, thinking through the eyes of a mother of a daughter, I would want to know if she was raped. But I've been there, so I have an understanding that my mom did not.

I hope that helps! Sending good vibes. You'll get through this.

 

[bagyrms92]

@chesney It's completely up to you. You know your parents best and how they may react. If their reaction is not going to be supportive, I would wait to tell them later. You can always tell them later but you can't "untell" them once they know. I'm a parent and while I would want to know, I'm also not conservative and would never blame the victim. I was raped almost 20 years ago and it's been a tough journey. With time you will get better. Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to.

 

[thomasjhonson]

@bagyrms92 Hi a parent and while I would want to know, I'm also not conservative and would never blame the victim, I'm Dad

 

[mooncalf]

@chesney Yes.

It breaks my heart now reading it.

Know that youll never walk alone.

Your parents walk with you everyday and with them seek help.