@lightspeed2slow Sorry to say OP, as someone who has experienced alcohol issues with a partner before - that you need to run. He has an addiction, and no will power or strategy on your part will change that. When someone has an addiction (has a negative impact on their life/relationships and they still partake) you will always end up last. Maybe not all the time - but when things come right down to it - alcohol will win every time.
Get out of that relationship. If you are the breadwinner, you should be able to manage financially. Don’t trade one unhealthy relationship for another. Become strong in yourself, without a man first, then seek out people who already have it together. This alcohol issue will not go away and nothing stays the same, so it will most likely get worse.
I can almost guarantee that he won’t stick to sobriety, and your children’s good health is not worth the gamble on this guy who is guilt-tripping you, and exhausting you emotionally. You are better off on your own than being with the wrong person.
That’s my 2 cents. Good luck!!