Seeking advice about having 3 kids in daycare!

[chillcwill]

@myopia Thank you for the kind words

 

[spacecadet3767]

@chillcwill We have lots of families at our daycare with 3! I’m sure their lives are hectic but it’s hectic for everyone haha

 

[inthesanctuary]

@chillcwill We have 3 in daycare and it’s super busy!- We have our youngest on a 6:30pm-6:30am sleep schedule so she gets up with dad and they do their sweet little routine and out the door to daycare and then I get the older 3 up and we are at daycare 45 minutes later. This has made a WORLD of difference for us to split drop off and have the littlest in bed earlier so we can focus on the older babes routines later.

 

[chillcwill]

@inthesanctuary Wow what an interesting thought! I never would’ve considered splitting drop off but that makes sense. I remember when my second was younger and still breastfeeding it was difficult to match my morning schedule to my husband schedule- I’m an early bird and would like to get the kids to daycare earlier but he can barely manage to get them there by 9- I never considered just dropping the younger one off separately. Thanks for the idea!

 

[inheretic]

@chillcwill Do it! I think it would be a detriment to your eldest to pull them out for 9 months before they're due to start School.

Also, dropping off / picking up 3 kids from daycare sounds a lot easier than taking care of 3 kids all day. Having to load them all up by yourself to get them out and about. And it will be even harder because you will be exhausted from a newborn. The middle will probably enjoy at first but then might struggle with not getting enough from you and will struggle when you eventually send them back to daycare.

Your eldest should be fairly self sufficient by the time baby is in daycare, they should be able to get out of the carseat, grab their bags etc, walk without needing to hold hands. Our eldest is almost 4 and really doesn't need much help. The middle will not need much, help them out of the car and have them stand with eldest whilst you get the baby out. On the way home open the door for the middle so they can climb in, then put the baby in fully strapped, come back to strap in the middle. Drop the baby off first/pick them up last so you don't have to lug them between classrooms. On occasion you may need help with the middle who doesn't want to walk/go to class, in that rare instance have a staff member assist with the baby whilst you man handle the middle. You can always go back to the baby after you drop off the middle to make sure teachers have/know everything they need for the day.

Having a plan in mind for how to tackle these will make it easier, if it's a struggle, do a debrief and figure out a change in strategy.

Your career would do better to not take a long break, your eldest would do better to not take a long break, your income would be the same regardless (working and paying all to daycare, not working but no income), and your brain will probably appreciate not being needed and demanded by 3 kiddos all day.

 

[meaghan]

@chillcwill Eat the cost and think of those 8-9 months as a lump sum, one time expense.

 

[pretty1]

@chillcwill Just to consider- if you quit and become a SAHM, make sure your husband funds your retirement. You may not be netting as much income but you’re contributing to your 401k/Social Security when you work.

Also taking time off even if it’s short can be hard when to re-enter the workforce. I’ve been witness to hiring managers digging into gaps (I’ve had to coach them to not do this).

I personally would stay working, and many of my closest friends have had 2-4 in childcare. It’s all doable!

 

[imsavedbyjesus]

@chillcwill Just jumping in as the mom with a career that took a “gap year” to care for a newborn and 2yo. It was very challenging to go from zero experience as a SAHM to full time breastfeeding/potty training/diapers/no sleep/no breaks. There were many days where naps didn’t line up, and I’d be awake for 14 hours with kids (after not sleeping at night to feed a newborn) without getting 20 minutes to myself. It was a hard year for our marriage, and we were all glad when I went back to work. Also, my newborn developed a strong preference for mom and reallyyyy struggled when it came time to go to transition to childcare. (Of course there were some beautiful moments with my babies in there too.) This is just one perspective. I’m about to have my third in 5 years and would never consider a gap year at this stage.

 

[chillcwill]

@imsavedbyjesus This is good perspective honestly. I’m used to a pretty cushy life style right now with a lot of me time and time to manage the household due to a flexible job. I’d lose all of that as a sahm.

 

[imsavedbyjesus]

@chillcwill I’m in the same situation. I think being a stay at home parent is easier if you start with one kid and gradually work your way up (and/or if you have kids spread out or in preschool). I found it to be a pretty intense culture shock with a newborn and toddler. If you do it, I’d definitely plan to send at least one kid to part-time preschool.

 

[lucsch]

@chillcwill We are due with our 3rd next month and our oldest is 3.5, starting free pre-k in August so after maternity leave we’ll have about 4 months of triple daycare bills. We wouldn’t want to do it indefinitely but it’s pretty short. We’ve already started practicing with our oldest not making her hold our hand, but requiring her to stop/start when we say (right now we have a free hand to actually enforce things if she doesn’t stop when we say stop). We also talk a lot about safety with cars. We’re excited to have them close in age but hopefully it goes well haha

 

[katrina2017]

@chillcwill Thank you for asking this question. I was having such a bad night thinking how I would get my twins (18 months) up a set of stairs. Mama is really tiny and can’t carry two kids at once. This made me feel a lot less lonely.

 

[judgenotbutyourself]

@chillcwill Most people just SAH for a few years because childcare eats up one partners salary. When you both work full time and then come home to three needy little kids & a pile of work it's not worth it making zero dollars.

 

[eyeh8yahweh]

@chillcwill My coworker is coming back to work this summer (as a teacher at daycare) and will have her three in full-time care until her oldest goes back to school in the fall. She doesn't get a discount for working here, and even with the more recent government subsidies (it USED to be $60 CAD for a full day of infant care), I don't see how she's better off working, but that's what she wants to do.

I think it's going to be harder on her (emotionally, mentally, physically, financially) than she realizes.

But if you were working somewhere other than surrounded by little kids all day only to go home to your own crew, maybe it'd be easier. I don't know. My kids are older, so I haven't had as much of that struggle.

 

[katrina2017]

@chillcwill We did it for 9 months, until our oldest started kindergarten. And in the summers we’re still paying three childcare bills, although in two locations. $$$. But it’s worth it to us. We were ready to get the baby stage over with so we had our third a little earlier than we probably would have otherwise. Next year, we’re down to one childcare and then in two years, done!

 

[chillcwill]

@katrina2017 That’s the main reason for us too- getting the baby stage over. I’m eager to have the feeling of a complete family.

 

[misty35]

@chillcwill We did it! They’re 7,5, and 3 now. We had about a year with all three in daycare before my oldest went to school. The cost dropped but once they were in school we still had to pay for before or after school care and summers. I didn’t make much after paying daycare either, but I paid insurance and was contributing a significant amount to retirement so we thought it was worth it.

I will say it wasn’t easy! We came up with systems, like getting all water bottles and everything set up the night before. I would also dress the littles in what they were going to wear to daycare for bed. They’re usually in cozy clothes anyway! It just made those early days so much easier. Our older kiddos were sleeping on cots and required pillows and blankets so I found a sleeping bag ish thing with a pillow that rolled up so they could carry it themselves into daycare.

It was crazy but I love them so close. It’s so fun watching them grow up together!

 

[dollyjane]

@chillcwill We had 3 in daycare for a few months before covid. My husband did all morning/drop off duties solo.

We now have a nanny and a fourth kid and it’s much better for multiple kids in multiple age ranges/schools

 

[jennifers60]

@chillcwill Our youngest 3 are in daycare together (4yo, 3yo and nearly 2yo) and the drop off/pick up is fine for us, they’re excited to go so the 4 and 3 year olds happily carry their bags and walk independently while I carry the 2yo most of the way.

I WFH so having them home with me is an absolute no-go, and I tried the SAHM thing for a while and was not a fan, and they get to do much cooler things at daycare lol as it is I’m currently on Christmas break and it’s school holidays so days like today I’ve got all 5 of my kids home (the eldest two are nearly 7 and nearly 6) and they’re bored because I just want to clean the house lol

 

[woodycmt]

@chillcwill Depending on your field can you do consulting/ freelance work. That removes the perceived gap on your resume and adds income to the house. I think mentally it will be best for everyone.

I did this. Best decision ever. I loved my time with my kids and taking off the stress off the family.