Seeking advice about having 3 kids in daycare!

[chillcwill]

I’ve never known anyone to have 3 kids in daycare at a time so I want to hear if I’m crazy for considering it. One scenario has 3 kids in daycare for about 8-9 months. This amounts to almost all of my take home pay- I’d have about $300 left a month. I know some people say compare the cost against both salaries but that doesn’t make sense to me as only one of us (me) would stay home.

My husband handles daycare drop off and he struggled to get into a groove when my second was a baby. Herding 3 kids between 0-4 every day seems so difficult.

I’ve considered taking a sort of gap year off work and being a temporary SAHM which I think could be fun though I know it’d be really hard. I think I’d be able to secure my same position upon return to work. But my husband feels bad about pulling my oldest son from his routine at the daycare where he’s been since he was a baby.

I know there’s another option of waiting to try for #3 and avoiding this all together but I’m just trying to weigh each scenario! Thanks

 

[dezi]

@chillcwill There’s several families where we go to daycare that have 3 kids. It looks exhausting when I see them at pickup or drop off. But it can be done.

 

[aaronq10]

@dezi I think 2 separate schools seems even more exhausting

 

[crustyfrog]

@aaronq10 It is. I had three under six and about a year where one was in pre-k at a catholic school and my younger two were at Montessori school. The worst part was drop off at catholic school was 720 and not until 8 for Montessori

 

[aaronq10]

@crustyfrog Omg, that is awful

 

[crustyfrog]

@aaronq10 It was a rough year! My husband is home now, so I only do kindergarten drop off for my oldest.

 

[beach133]

@crustyfrog I currently have 7:30 drop-off for my youngest and 9:30 (school) drop-off for the older ones. I go home to work and get ready in between.

 

[tannerdude28]

@aaronq10 My kids are in 2 separate daycares until February, and we’ve been doing it since August. I’m counting down the days until my oldest’s daycare has space for my daughter cause I absolutely detest picking up at two places.

 

[junobet]

@dezi I have 3 and can confirm, it is exhausting getting all 3 out of the house. And my baby isn't even mobile yet-- that will make it more interesting.....

 

[strikewfire]

@chillcwill Soon to be 4M&F and just turned 1M. Drop off and pickup has different doors for each age group so I have to drop off the older two while holding the youngest, and in reverse for pickup.

It's twice our mortgage but we just have to survive it till the older two start school in September. The earning potential of keeping both of us working makes it work out.

 

[nimrodel]

@strikewfire Good points! Earning potential, insurance, and retirement all have to be considered when making the decision.

 

[psalmist_j]

@strikewfire So expensive

 

[strikewfire]

@psalmist_j Yup. And I have a surprise pregnancy (I had a tubal but am one of the "lucky" 1 in 10000 who gets pregnant after the tubes are removed) so we will soon have to be balancing 2 going part time and 2 going full time. We are at the tipping point of it being financially beneficial for my husband to quit and be a stay at home again.

 

[rakadisiplin]

@chillcwill We did it! We had two boys about 2y8mo apart and then lo and behold, I found out I was pregnant with baby boy #3 just 6 weeks after getting back from a mom and dad only vacation. When the youngest was born the other two were 4y1mo and 17 mos.
I’m a dentist and at that time I carried myself and all the kids on my insurance so it made no sense to drop hours/days because I needed to maintain the insurance. My husband is a high school teacher (and had just gotten his dream schedule), and we actually got a discount through the daycare because they did a teacher discount. So for a year we sucked it up and sent all three to daycare. My husband brought home exactly $150 a month more than what we spent on daycare. I pumped so we didn’t have to use formula. I made the baby food and stopped buying “toddler friendly” food, I just cut our regular foods up smaller. We did lots- and I mean LOTS- of spaghetti and cheap easy meals. No going out to eat. Filled up the car at the absolute cheapest gas stations. Bought dollar store diapers (dollar general’s were surprisingly good). But we knew it was only for a year so we sucked it up and made it work.

Now they are 12,10,8 and sometimes I miss those days. Not the struggles, but the sweetness of having three small kiddos and their snuggles and always wanting to be with mommy.

 

[icantthinkofausername]

@chillcwill Edit to add # of kids: I have three kids, ages 7, 3, and 2 weeks old. I’m currently on maternity leave and both kids were out of school/preschool this week.

I was doing great with my recovery the first week: kids went to school, I just had to care for myself and the newborn. This week?

This week is pure hell. I’m in pain, I’m short with the big kids, the sound of their toys sets my teeth on edge, the sound of them fighting makes my head want to explode. I cannot wait for them to go back next week so it can be me and my newborn again, and if I don’t return to work I will be the most depressed I’ve been in my life.

I am not cut out to be a SAHM at all. Sending all three for 8-9 months would be an upfront cost for a long term investment and I’d do it in a heartbeat.

 

[chillcwill]

@icantthinkofausername I honestly have no idea if I’m cut out for it either. I’d hope that the fact that’s it’s temporary would help me get through. Also, I’d absolutely keep the older 2 in daycare while I’m on maternity leave for 12 weeks. Learning to be a sahm to 3 young kids while freshly postpartum sounds like hell.

 

[icantthinkofausername]

@chillcwill I swear to god, I love my kids, but having a baby just before winter break can suck it. All the parents in my area are complaining that the kids only get 1.5 weeks off this year instead of 2 full weeks and I’m here like “dear god, did it have to be 1.5 weeks?!”

 

[junobet]

@chillcwill Oh, my 3rd was born during summer vacation. So I had my very active 6 year old , 1.5 yr old, and a newborn at home during my mat leave. After that, I was at peace with the fact I wasn't meant to be a stay at home mom and happily went back to work. I was ready.

 

[cristina49]

@icantthinkofausername I'm pretty "pro keep kids at home" and even I agree that 8 - 9 months is just a sprint and not a super long time to make that kind of sacrifice. It should be fine.

 

[nccountryboy]

@chillcwill We have 3 in daycare. My oldest was 21 months old when our twins were born. Twins started daycare at 4 months old. It was hectic but we survived. It got harder when they started walking the twins are now 2.5 and it’s very manageable now.