worshipguitar
New member
I would like to preface this by saying that my 4 year old often likes putting little things into their pockets. Things like rocks, leaves, tiny pine cones, tinsel, bottle caps, anything they find outside or around the house. I received an email from their Pre-K teacher today saying she would like to speak with me and to arrive towards the end of the school pick up time so we could speak alone. I panicked thinking it was something very serious.
During this after school meeting, the teacher walks my child to me. The teacher pulls out the two marbles from her own pocket and holds them out for me to see. She says they came from a game in the classroom and explains that she caught my child playing with them hours past the time they had cleaned up and put toys away. I want to point out that my child made no intention to hide the marbles. Then the teacher stands over my child and tells them “this is stealing and it is wrong. You are not to steal from my classroom ever again.” I was surprised by this, but in the moment just told my child “let’s not put things from the classroom into our pockets.” I said goodbye to the teacher and walked off with my child. When we were out of view, I talked to my child and explained that it’s okay to put things from home or outside (like the little rocks they find) into their pockets, but nothing from the classroom. My child agreed and said they just didn’t know. I gave my child a big hug, but could tell that they were visibly upset by it.
I felt a bit sad by the teacher’s use of the word “stealing” for such a young child and this was their first offense. What do you think?
Edit: Thank you everyone for your responses. I asked my child if this has ever happened before (to see if they had a pattern of “stealing”) and they said no, it was the first time they put something in their pocket from class and the first time the teacher has said anything. They said the two marbles were so pretty and they wanted to play with them for longer.
Edit 2: Thank you again! I feel much better about the situation. We have a pretty good relationship with this teacher (I thought?) and I do hope to keep a good relationship with her for the rest of the year. To answer some of the questions… I referred to my child as “they” because I didn’t really think gender mattered in this situation. For what it’s worth, the child is my daughter. She normally doesn’t wear pants/dresses with pockets to school but happened to be wearing this new denim “overalls dress” (no idea what it’s called) and was excited to put the two pretty marbles in her front pocket to play with later. Outside of school, she likes putting little trinkets in her jacket or sweatshirt pockets. I didn’t mention gender in the same way that I didn’t mention race, as I hoped it would not matter in this situation. I don’t want to read into it, but the teacher is white, as is most of the class. I’ll just say that we are not white.
During this after school meeting, the teacher walks my child to me. The teacher pulls out the two marbles from her own pocket and holds them out for me to see. She says they came from a game in the classroom and explains that she caught my child playing with them hours past the time they had cleaned up and put toys away. I want to point out that my child made no intention to hide the marbles. Then the teacher stands over my child and tells them “this is stealing and it is wrong. You are not to steal from my classroom ever again.” I was surprised by this, but in the moment just told my child “let’s not put things from the classroom into our pockets.” I said goodbye to the teacher and walked off with my child. When we were out of view, I talked to my child and explained that it’s okay to put things from home or outside (like the little rocks they find) into their pockets, but nothing from the classroom. My child agreed and said they just didn’t know. I gave my child a big hug, but could tell that they were visibly upset by it.
I felt a bit sad by the teacher’s use of the word “stealing” for such a young child and this was their first offense. What do you think?
Edit: Thank you everyone for your responses. I asked my child if this has ever happened before (to see if they had a pattern of “stealing”) and they said no, it was the first time they put something in their pocket from class and the first time the teacher has said anything. They said the two marbles were so pretty and they wanted to play with them for longer.
Edit 2: Thank you again! I feel much better about the situation. We have a pretty good relationship with this teacher (I thought?) and I do hope to keep a good relationship with her for the rest of the year. To answer some of the questions… I referred to my child as “they” because I didn’t really think gender mattered in this situation. For what it’s worth, the child is my daughter. She normally doesn’t wear pants/dresses with pockets to school but happened to be wearing this new denim “overalls dress” (no idea what it’s called) and was excited to put the two pretty marbles in her front pocket to play with later. Outside of school, she likes putting little trinkets in her jacket or sweatshirt pockets. I didn’t mention gender in the same way that I didn’t mention race, as I hoped it would not matter in this situation. I don’t want to read into it, but the teacher is white, as is most of the class. I’ll just say that we are not white.
