OAD decision timeline

[renette]

@ronaldus Such a a good point and great advice! For many people multiple kiddos and pregnancies is such an enjoyable thing and what is right for them, I just don’t think that’s the path for us. Nice to connect with others who can relate. Thanks for the advice!

 

[megannovybaker]

@renette In my country permanent measures aren't allowed unless you're 35 or have 3 kids at minimum. So hormonal birth control it is for now.

 

[steve007]

@megannovybaker Why?

 

[megannovybaker]

@steve007 To prevent population decrease I guess. It's still happening though.

 

[renette]

@megannovybaker Interesting! I guess the decision on how to prevent has been made for you then

 

[lexidoll3]

@renette My husband got a vasectomy when our daughter was 6 months old. Pretty young, but we were OAD before we TTC, OAD through pregnancy, and didn't feel any different after she was here. By 6 months she was sleeping well, breastfeeding woes were behind us, etc., and so it felt like we weren't making a rash decision based on lack of sleep or emotion. She's 5 now and no regrets!

 

[renette]

@lexidoll3 I’m really looking forward to the 6 month stage everyone says they are so cute and things level out a bit. Yeah I think because we were really either going to have one kid or no kids and never had multiples on the table we’ll stay the course in this decision. I guess I also don’t want my husband healing from something and unable to help as much right now so waiting a bit would be better for our routine.

 

[ericguitarman]

@renette I got my tubes removed 6 weeks ago! (I'm in Canada) I'm 30 and my son is 9 months old. I knew basically as soon as he was born that I was OAD. The PPD was a huge contributing factor, along with finances, and just how hard it is with even just one kid... I'm so happy with my decision!!

 

[renette]

@ericguitarman Yeah mental health and finances are a huge part of the decision for me too. I want to be able to provide the best emotional and financial support I can to my kid because neither of my parents could.

 

[renette]

Oh man such a good thing for me to think about - how I would feel with a pregnancy scare. I’m 35 this year too and I’m with you, plenty of people have enjoyable/healthy pregnancies over 35 but my pregnancy at 34 was very tough and the idea of going through a pregnancy as hard or harder seems like it would really negatively effect me.

 

[2c710]

@renette I refused to even really talk about it until our kid was like, 16 months old. I felt like that was enough time to get our heads on straight and make a choice that was best for us. I wanted more kids, my husband didn’t. So we aren’t having more kids. I also dealt with infertility, miscarriage, and I have heart failure now due to pregnancy. So, it would be pretty risky to have another anyway. But, either way, I think personally it’s good to wait until the fog of the newborn phase has passed before you do something permanent (sterilization wise). Some people are pretty adamant they only want one, and they should do what’s best for them. But if you’re on the fence at all, I advise waiting. I feel really differently about a second than I did when my kid was 8 weeks old.

 

[renette]

@2c710 Great advice - and also I’m sorry that you’ve dealt with infertility, miscarriage and health issues, I’m sure that adds a whole other difficult layer to this type of decision. I think I’m going to get an iud and wait it out a bit so we can see how we feel once we’re out of this newborn stage. Thank you for sharing!

 

[savedthroughgrace]

@renette I'm 36 and planning to get my tubes removed at 40 for the reduction in ovarian cancer risk. I definitely do not want a pregnancy/baby after 40. My son is 2.5 and will be 3 in the spring. We actually intentionally started trying for another in the fall, but I had a chemical pregnancy a couple months ago and I honestly felt relief that the pregnancy didn't work out. I have a loose timeline of considering OAD as final once he's 5 or 6, which is when I'd be around 38 anyway.

 

[renette]

@savedthroughgrace That’s been a similar thought I’ve had is 38ish - I’m 34 now with my newborn and want to be done for sure once I hit 40. And even tho I feel that we’re OAD it feels right to have some sort of runway to really check in with ourselves on how we feel.

 

[vl32]

@renette I’m 33, husband is 37. We say when he’s 40 he will get a vasectomy. But honestly, I’d be surprised if he makes it through the calendar year without getting one. I don’t want to be pregnant again and I’m pretty sick of not enjoying being intimate without constantly fearing being pregnant.

 

[renette]

@vl32 This! Similars ages too - I definitely felt less stress knowing before our baby that if we got pregnant even without planning it we’d be ok with it but it’s a different story know that she’s here. Stakes are MUCH higher.

 

[brianah]

@renette My daughter is nearly 2. We've said that if we still feel like we just want one when she's 4, we'll lock it in. Any later than that and we'll be nearing 37-38 anyway, which feels a bit late for our taste.