New parent tip from pediatrician

[devora]

@petercm Yes! Whenever I stopped the Eat Play Sleep madness and just followed baby cues, everyone was happier! My LO started napping longer, stopped fighting naps, and she still sleeps through the night. I know it doesn’t work for everyone but it was so much better for us.

 

[lukewarmlex]

@petercm This! I just go with the flow and this is her flow. I think if I tried to force anything else, I would go crazy. I gave up counting time between feedings after I got back home from the hospital. My ADHD is would not allow it. I feed on demand and let her fall asleep when she wants (usually after nursing or bottle) and it works just fine so far

 

[qity]

@petercm THIS!! Eat play sleep is from Taking Cara Babies (I believe) and more than anything, I wish I hadn’t bought into that philosophy when we were new parents. So much fear mongering about “developing bad sleep habits.” Ugh. Our girl is 16 months old, we still feed to sleep, and it’s worked great for us. She’s slept through the night for a long time now. She’s also naturally falling asleep without the bottle now that she’s older.

Sleep is developmental
Not trained.

Soapbox over. Sorry . But yes, I like the advise about following a flow, and I’m sure the eat play sleep thing can definitely work well for some babies. Just know it’s not some golden rule.

 

[christhepenitent]

@petercm We heavily rely on feeding to sleep and feel absolutely no shame for it!!

 

[rdavis0720]

@petercm I disagree. Feeding them to sleep creates a sleep crutch that you definitely don't want to be there later when you start weaning. Eat-Wake-Sleep is preferred for this reason

Edit: the other (probably main) reason is because just like adults, babies have lower quality sleep if they eat right before bed. You might be making a crankier baby unintentionally, even if bedtime is a bit easier

 

[blazer70x7]

@rdavis0720 I’ve not found this to be a crutch at all! My LO is slowly weaning himself off feeding to sleep naturally by himself, I just went with him, I didn’t try and force it on him. People are so scared of “sleep crutches” that they make their life needlessly harder! Babies grow older and learn naturally to fall asleep without “crutches”. It’s fine if you don’t want to feed, rock, etc to sleep as you believe in “sleep crutches” but you don’t have many 18 year olds requiring a bottle/ boob to fall asleep do you so it’s not gonna ruin sleep forever

 

[rdavis0720]

@blazer70x7 No, and I'm not saying it'll ruin anything forever. Don't put words in my mouth please.

What I'm claiming is that it may make things harder in the future. I'm happy for you that your LO self-weaned, but do recognize that yours is not the usual case. Most parents need to make the decision to stop feeding before sleep eventually, and it causes a few weeks of friction. That's all I'm saying

There are SO many things as parents that make things easier in the short run but much harder in the long run. Some of these include:

• Holding baby to sleep
• pacifiers
• TV as primary "keep busy" tool

This is feeding thing is a very small one, but still in the list in my opinion

 

[blazer70x7]

@rdavis0720 I respectfully disagree. I’m in a Facebook group of women around the country who were all due same month as me and our babies are all around the 12 month mark with a few more birthdays left to go. Only a handful sleep trained the rest all used crutches and the last few weeks a good 85-90% of them are falling to sleep and sleeping so much better, even the babies who have been waking hourly all their lives have just started to do good 5-7 hour chunks. My friends irl also said sleep dramatically improved around the first birthday. I just believe sleep gets better with age. There’s far too much going on in the first year to expect an infant to fall asleep soundly and sleep all night. Obviously you do you and I’ll do me but please don’t try and scare a new parent. New parents are all ready lost, confused, scared and questioning every single decision without being told literally the only thing that works for them is wrong! By all means share your opinion but the way you wrote it (obviously text is subjective) sounded very harsh and like you are telling every single person who uses sleep crutches is wrong. They aren’t parenting wrong they are just parenting different to you and that doesn’t make it wrong like someone parenting different to you doesn’t make you wrong either. So share opinions (free country after all) but please bare in mind the audience reading your comments are very fragile emotionally and being told the way they’re doing something is wrong could send them into an anxiety ridden spiral

 

[rdavis0720]

@blazer70x7 I felt like I was being extremely mild with my suggestion, even if it was contradicting the person I replied to, but sorry if it came off "harsh". I of course didn't mean it that way

 

[thex]

@rdavis0720 Yikes to you ma'am or sir!

 

[rdavis0720]

@thex Apparently I'm offending and/or scaring a lot of people.

Being a deeply awkward person, could you do me a favor and tell me what is so "yikes" about what I said?

 

[overcomingme]

@rdavis0720 We all have "crutches" that we use to go to sleep, even as adults. Some of us take baths before bed, some read a book or have some other nighttime routine. I don't know why it's sooo bad for babies to have "crutches" too.

 

[rdavis0720]

@overcomingme I didn't say it was "sooo bad". It's not a huge deal. We like to avoid them because 1. Adults don't throw tantrums and refuse to sleep without the crutch and 2. In the case of breastfeeding, the crutch will need to go away eventually anyway, so why get them in the habit to begin with?

Like I said though, not a huge deal. Do what works for you in the long run

 

[overcomingme]

@rdavis0720 You might not have meant it that way but your wording makes it sound like a big deal by using the term crutch and saying "you definitely don't want to be there later when you start weaning".

Glad you clarified that it is fact NOT that big a deal.

 

[overcomingme]

@rdavis0720 Tyuitoot. Mb

 

[katrina2017]

@petercm This worked for us too

 

[brcseac]

@rhianne I have a three week old. He should be "playing?". Besides tummy time (which I just do with him on my chest since he was born tiny) what else should I be doing? He mind of just stares off into space and we usually just put him in his bassinet and he doesn't cry or anything. Am I missing something... I never feel like I'm doing enough...

 

[kinhhoang2]

@brcseac You’re doing enough. They just need food, sleep, dry diaper and your love. And way more sleep than you would think, the amount of time
Awake is really low - like 7 hrs a day or something. Soon they’ll be wanting toys/your attention etc

 

[joelsouza]

@brcseac You’re not missing anything….there’s not really much play they can actually do at that age. I have a 9 week old and from my perspective, “play time” can also mean reading or singing to them, showing them various different toys, etc. Basically anything that engages them.

 

[engelbea]

@joelsouza Yes, or taking them outside to look at trees or whatever