New parent tip from pediatrician

[rhianne]

My husband and I are fist time parents to our 5 week old. We were struggling to make a routine, and our pediatrician gave us such simple (and seemingly obvious in hindsight) advice that helped us a ton. First, focus on a flow of the day instead of a time schedule. Second, follow this acronym:

E-eat
A-activity (diaper change, tummy time, etc)
S-sleep (start putting them down for a nap)
Y-you time (do something for yourself - sleep, shower, eat, etc)

For some reason thinking about it like this was our game changer and wanted to pass it along!

 

[petercm]

@rhianne Or in our case, Eat Activity Eat Sleep! Feeding on demand and feeding to sleep works great and there's no harm or shame in doing it if you want to! Especially as they get older and their wake windows get longer -- otherwise they might cut their nap short just because they're hungry.
The You Time can also come during the Activity phase if you want. I babywear and he comes along as I do chores, or I leave him on his play mat while I putter around.

 

[yamila]

@petercm I soooo regret buying into "eat, play, sleep" when my baby was small. I spent months painfully bouncing my baby to sleep when I could have just fed him. He's 15 months now and I still breastfeed him to sleep. It makes no difference in sleep duration and makes it much easier to get him down.

 

[lifell]

@yamila Yes! I was stressing myself out so much thinking "we can't feed him to sleep, I've heard that's a really bad habit that's hard to break. He'll never be able to sleep without eating!"

Now at 6 months, I stopped caring. We feed him while we rock him before every nap and bed time. Sometimes he falls asleep at the bottle and that's great, sometimes he just gets drowsy and then falls asleep in his crib and that's great too.

I read a comment on this sub once that said "if it isn't a problem for you, then it isn't a problem" and that's really helped change my mindset about things like this.

 

[hjt]

@lifell We fed to sleep until about 10 months (now-ish). I recently started being able to rock him to sleep for naps in about 5 minutes, instead of the previous 45 minutes of screaming. Still nurses to sleep at bedtime, but feeding on waking instead of pre-nap has helped us work solids in more easily in the last week or two. 100% nurse to sleep as long as it works for you!

 

[contratodo]

@lifell ugh same! but our little dude won’t go down for any day naps unless it is literally right after eating & not a minute longer. it’s that or he’s cranky all day to bad habit it is!

 

[zeeshan030]

@lifell I was the same with my two year old. Was constantly told I was setting up bad habits. She's now dropped her night time bottle on her own and is able to settle without a feed. They will do it when they're ready

 

[marywelbeck]

@yamila Same! I think about that a lot, especially since we ended up struggling with my supply and his weight. I think it would’ve changed a lot if I didn’t stick to that even tho it ended just being a brief time.

 

[zeeshan030]

@yamila This. Plus it's normal for newborns to feed a lot. I just succumbed to the fact that there was going to be no routine, things got easier once I just let it go.

 

[rdavis0720]

@yamila No, but it will make a difference when you decide to start weaning. What happens when he needs to nap and you aren't planning to feed him?

 

[blazer70x7]

@rdavis0720 My 12 month old is fed to sleep but naturally has started to spit out the bottle and put himself to sleep 2/3 times a week. That ability comes naturally with age.

 

[yamila]

@rdavis0720 Well, he just unexpectedly fell asleep in the stroller on a walk. I transferred him to the crib no problem. When I/he decide to wean we will work it out. I feel no need to rush it. I also sing and rock him to sleep so we'll probably just do that. He dosent really eat all that much before falling asleep now so I feel like we're very slowly getting there. If you don't want to feed to sleep than don't but "eat, play, sleep" is not a universal requirement.

 

[laurawend]

@yamila Mine was exactly like this. Fed to sleep for so long and I made myself nuts worrying over it. We started to wean about 14 months and I just switched a little of his bedtime routine from before the feed to after, and then gradually increased the distance. What was impossible at 6 months worked like a charm a year later!

 

[debro]

@laurawend Such a good idea! I'll definitely be thinking about this when we go to wean.

 

[petercm]

@rdavis0720 If he's sleepy but not hungry, he falls asleep in other ways, e.g. sometimes he falls asleep in the carrier or stroller. Then we either continue on with our day and he finishes the nap in the carrier/stroller, or we lift him out and he finishes in the crib. Whatever works for him and us each day. We'll figure out other solutions when we wean, but in the meantime our lives are a lot easier when we feed to sleep. Of course, if it doesn't make your life easier, then it's not the right solution for you. Just wanted to say that feeding to sleep is ok to do if that's what you want.

 

[petercm]

@rdavis0720 I don't know if that's true. Do you have a source for that? My baby certainly isn't cranky -- he's remarkably calm and easy going. Every baby is different, so maybe a cranky baby is just cranky regardless.

 

[rdavis0720]

@petercm Just Google "food before sleep" or "eating before sleep" or similar. Acid reflux is a concern for many babies (including mine for sure!), but the digestive process also takes energy away from the activities your body performs during sleep.

Sounds like it's not a big deal for your baby though, so don't sweat it too much.

 

[ontopoftheworld]

@petercm This is our routine and it works great!

 

[macbarb]

@petercm We feed to sleep still 9 months in! It’s fine baby goes to sleep at daycare fine without being fed so do what works for you and your baby.

 

[blazer70x7]

@petercm So agree! My 12 month old is fed to sleep and doesn’t affect his sleep! Some nights he sleeps through, some nights wakes once or twice and some nights up hourly! Feeding to sleep hasn’t stopped him being able to connect sleep cycles, only thing that affects that is teething, illness, etc. I hate the eat play sleep personally as I think when they get out of the newborn phase and don’t just fall asleep cos they’re tired and cuddle in your arms it adds so much unneeded stress to your life!