My kid wakes up every day at 4am and I’m drowning

@luvmypets My school kids sleep about 12h (7-7:30 to 7am). They behave so much better when they get that much sleep...

I'm a huge proponent in putting kids to bed early. If they naturally wake up early, they can play quietly. If they don't - then they have plenty of time to get enough rest before school.
 
@spurgeon687 Such a relief to know this is possible! My babies are 6:30-6:30/715 or so, though they are very young. I’m a high needs sleep person so losing sleep was and still is my biggest parenting fear haha
 
@mickaela Both of my kids were 10+-hour a night sleepers; if they went to bed that early, they'd be up at the same time your kid is. Even if it WAS working okay for short periods, it's clearly not working now. At that age they'd each been on one nap for forever, went to bed around 8pm or so, and were up by 6am (for my most challenging sleeper) and maybe 6:30/6:45 for my more chill sleeper.
 
@mickaela Lots of natural light, screens, friends, outside time, sugar, and pretty much anything they say to avoid before bed. Unfortunately she’s probably wiped because she got up so early. If you can’t shift nap can you push back her meals a little to line up better with your goal schedule. Then when she does wake up in the morning keep it dark, don’t engage her, don’t leave the bedroom, if she needs a snack and is really starving you could try milk she has in her bed. This is also probably the time to deploy any sleep crutches to help during the adjustment phase like stroller walks, cosleeping, car rides, etc. Shift the schedule first then shift the routines.
 
@mickaela I didn't go back through so you might have included this somewhere else, but when is her nap? On that schedule I shared for my kids, their nap was typical daycare nap timing (so, think in the 1-3pm window). So they were awake for longer prior to nap than they were after nap for the most part.

Sometimes napping too early in the day can perpetuate early morning wakes.
 
@mickaela I don't think it's too early, especially if she's routinely napping until 2/2:30pm (which I think reflects what you said her typical nap lengths are).

Does she sleep independently? If so, I would do two things: push bedtime later and start ignoring any wake that's before 10 hours after bedtime. One of my kids in particular (my challenging sleeper) struggled with early wakes on and off for years and the best thing I could do, at least until she grew out of her crib, was ignore them.

But, if she doesn't sleep independently, that would be the thing I'd change ASAP as you push bedtime later.

For the pushing bedtime later part, whatever you can do with snacks, distraction, maybe outside time if weather-appropriate, etc. At this age sometimes it can take two solid weeks to really move a schedule, so you may have to stick with it even when it sucks! Been there.
 
@mickaela This is because she's awake so early.

Personally. I would tell her you won't come in no matter what (obviously do if something is wrong) and don't feed her until you go in. Don't enter at all if she's crying.
 
@brotherbob They’re not much different when it comes to training. My husband got home from work at 3am and I regularly worked until midnight. If our son got up before 7, he was either to stay in his room and play quietly, or he could come in our room and lay quietly. The kids should be on parent’s schedule, not the other way around.
 
@mickaela Maybe 2 shorter naps bc being exhausted by 6 seems like maybe a nap around 3-4 could solve that. Even at 4 if she sleeps for an hour, you could push bedtime back to say closer to 9?
 
@mickaela And she’s probably hungry at 4am because most people/babies have dinner around 6 so her dinner is a lot earlier I’m sure? I definitely think tweaking the nap could help a little
 
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